Run-in with a jerk

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win231 said:
I don't know how old you are, but you didn't handle the situation very wisely. These days, people are much-more prone to violence. People have been killed over such petty disputes. You really want to fight with a 20 year old? As we age, we need to be more smart than macho.
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Thing is, one doesn't even have to think of it in such proactively defensive terms. I would have moved my cart not out of fear but consideration which i extend to all not just those who look like they need it.

You can't always tell by looking at someone if turning sideways when a bus is about to move or already moving might make them have trouble maintaining their balance and they fear looking foolish as well as maybe stepping on or falling onto some other passenger. Meniere's disease is one of those invisible things, and some generally fit and fit looking people have suffered with it.
 
win231 said:
If you had responded with something like: "That's a good idea, thanks for letting me know," that would not be knuckling under; that would be showing wisdom. And your loved ones would not be in mourning.
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mmm...I think I disagree, Win, but it depends on how the guy asked. Chef said he *demanded* the cart be moved. Maybe so. If some guy hollered at me to "Move this damn thing!" I wouldn't want to move it. We'd have words, mostly comprised of 4 letters. But if he said, "Excuse me, I can't get through" or even "Yo old dude, this is in my way" I'd apologize and move the damn thing.
 
senior chef said:
Yesterday, while riding on a public bus on my way back from the supermarket, I had a near violent confrontation with a jerk.
I had my small wheeled hand cart with me and it was filled with groceries. The hand cart was PARTIALLY in the aisle but there was plenty of room for people to move passed. A 20 something black man got on and he wanted to go to the back of the bus. He could easily have edged passed but he demanded that I move the basket to near the exit. I told him, "Just walk passed" he shouted at me and he grabbed my little basket. I held on to my basket. He moved up into my face still shouting. I said "leave me alone, WALK PASSED." He pressed the issue and looked like he was getting ready to be violent.
I stood up and said, as I TOWERED over him, "You want to hit me ? Go ahead. I'll put you in the hospital."

If that passenger had been handicapped or loaded down with packages, I'd have moved my little wheeled basket to the exit area. BUT, not for a jerk.
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And the reason you wouldn't move your hand cart that was "partially" blocking the aisle, to let this person pass ,was ? If a person has to "edge by" your cart, it does sound like an obstruction in the aisle.
If you got on the bus dragging your cart, and someone refused to move their cart that was "partially" blocking the aisle, you would have what?
 
Murrmurr said:
mmm...I think I disagree, Win, but it depends on how the guy asked. Chef said he *demanded* the cart be moved. Maybe so. If some guy hollered at me to "Move this damn thing!" I wouldn't want to move it. We'd have words, mostly comprised of 4 letters. But if he said, "Excuse me, I can't get through" or even "Yo old dude, this is in my way" I'd apologize and move the damn thing.
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Key phrase 'Chef said he demanded', but we have only Chef's word on that.
 
fuzzybuddy said:
And the reason you wouldn't move your hand cart that was "partially" blocking the aisle, to let this person pass ,was ? If a person has to "edge by" your cart, it does sound like an obstruction in the aisle.
If you got on the bus dragging your cart, and someone refused to move their cart that was "partially" blocking the aisle, you would have what?
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Public transport really needs to recognize that they move a lot of seniors, and probably at least 50% of them are gonna have a cart or footed cane or walker. We have some new buses here that have a place for you to park stuff out of the isle.
 
senior chef said:
You are probably right. But I have a really, really hard time knuckling under, whenever someone tries to intimidate me.
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"The testosterone is strong but a man's wisdom is weak". Ancient Chinese saying? No, I just made it up. I get it, I wanted to go 'fist city' with an arrogant jerk at the supermarket a few weeks ago. Problem was, he's like 6'-4" and 60 lb.s heavier(mostly muscle) and probably 30 years younger. I gave him the evil eye, turned and went about my business...and lived another day.
 
Murrmurr said:
Public transport really needs to recognize that they move a lot of seniors, and probably at least 50% of them are gonna have a cart or footed cane or walker. We have some new buses here that have a place for you to park stuff out of the isle.
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True, if Hawaii can have 'beach busses' that storage sections for surfboards....why not busses designed to accommodate grocery carts? Maybe with only rows of seats along whole length so wider aises. They could run regular busses at peak commute for work times.
 
fuzzybuddy said:
And the reason you wouldn't move your hand cart that was "partially" blocking the aisle, to let this person pass ,was ? If a person has to "edge by" your cart, it does sound like an obstruction in the aisle.
If you got on the bus dragging your cart, and someone refused to move their cart that was "partially" blocking the aisle, you would have what?
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there are ALWAYS obstructions in the aisle of any public bus in my neighborhood. it is entirely normal here. people are quite used to it. Only a thug would make an issue of it.
 
Nathan said:
"The testosterone is strong but a man's wisdom is weak". Ancient Chinese saying? No, I just made it up. I get it, I wanted to go 'fist city' with an arrogant jerk at the supermarket a few weeks ago. Problem was, he's like 6'-4" and 60 lb.s heavier(mostly muscle) and probably 30 years younger. I gave him the evil eye, turned and went about my business...and lived another day.
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It was quite the opposite with me. I am 6'3" and 195 lbs. When we stood face to face, his eyes were at my neck level.
 
Manatee said:
This is one reason I hate public transportation. I dread the time when I might have to give up my car.
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Manatee, not sure what size town you live in but even small towns in many states have senior centers and they often have transport services. Some even have special grocery run days . The cost is usually reasonable compared to gas and upkeep on a vehicle.

And they might also match up people who have had to stop driving with younger seniors and some mutually beneficial arrangement could be made, with the rider(s) sharing cost of gas.
 
Murrmurr said:
True, and we can take it or leave it. If we take his word, the guy was a jerk.

I don't care what your excuse is, a bad childhood or whatever, if you're a jerk, you can cry me a river, I'm not taking any crap from you. (not you, personally)
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So you have never in your entire life had a bad day, been exhausted and sounded more gruff or hostile than you intended?
 
Nathan said:
"The testosterone is strong but a man's wisdom is weak". Ancient Chinese saying? No, I just made it up. I get it, I wanted to go 'fist city' with an arrogant jerk at the supermarket a few weeks ago. Problem was, he's like 6'-4" and 60 lb.s heavier(mostly muscle) and probably 30 years younger. I gave him the evil eye, turned and went about my business...and lived another day.
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That's the "Wisdom" I referred to earlier. 😊
 
Nathan said:
Let's examine this statement. O.K., here's the deal: once you're dead, all that pride and "saving face" is meaningless. And no one cares.
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You are forgetting something VERY important. If I allowed anyone to push me around, I'd have to live with the fact that I am a victim. I refuse to be a victim. The emotional impact of victimhood is a heavy burden to carry.
If I could use an analogy ? A woman who is raped, has become a victim of her attacker. She may, or may not have suffered physical trauma BUT the knowledge that she was victimized is a heavy emotional burden to carry. In other words the emotional trauma is often far, far worse than the actual physical trauma.
 
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