My house, my rules, (okay for mothers or parents but,...?)

[grahamg]

A teacher friend of mine sanctioned the view being a householder meant you could assert, "It is my house, my rules, under my roof"!

I can see why parents should sometimes make such an assertion when dealing with their children who might be challenging them over this or that, and the mother/father feels the need to abbreviate, and not bother to back up whatever it is they wish the child to do, (clean behind their ears or something), but there must be a downside to someone taking such a dictatorial stance with other people(?).

"My house, my rules" doesn't fit the bill if its a married or cohabiting coup!e, and the property is jointly owned obviously, and if grandparents visit do they always wish to assert they're lord in their homes. I suppose they could always chuck gran or grandad out, so in that sense they are, but they'll be irreparably damaging relationships won't they!

Not my idea of the way to go on anyway, (what do you think?).

 

[grahamg]

Some views I'd largely agree with found during a search:

Quote:
"My house my rules",.... Never in my home. I used communication skills I wanted my son to learn. I wouldn’t want him to one day say, “My house, my rules,” to me so I didn’t say it to him. I wanted him to have a good solid selection of tools to use when faced with a clash of desires in friendships, relationships and work. If I wanted him to have those tools he needed to see them in practice.

I was his partner, not his adversary. That’s not an easy role shift to imagine for parents who have only experienced authoritarian parenting."
(said by a mother describing herself thusly: "Radically unschooling parent since the age of the dinosaurs")

Similar views found on another site:
https://grownandflown.com/my-house-my-rules/

Quote:
"Is Your Family Policy “My House, My Rules?” ... Certainly not, but they took a good shot at it. But, now they have another place they call home it does not work anymore anyway."

 

[Shero]

This is an easy one. If the house is jointly owned or rooms rented out, then it would make sense for the parties to sit down and make rules they can both live with and have it witnesed by some authority. That way, when troubles arise, they can return to the document and say :"see, I told you so!"

 

[grahamg]

This website I found during my search is leading towards a parental right debate, so apologies for that, we'll try to veer away from it again hey, (though it is a good article/site! ).

https://www.lesswrong.com/posts/Mhm2MNEuG2FcrMTH6/our-house-my-rules

Quote:
"One example of authoritarianism masquerading as sound discipline (even among otherwise good parents) is the idea of "My House, My Rules." I've even heard parents go so far as to say things like: "it's not your room, it's the room in my house that I allow you to live in." This attitude makes little sense on its own terms, as it suggests that parents would have no legitimate authority over, say, a famous child actor whose earnings paid for the house. Worse, it's a relatively minor manifestation of the broader notion that the child has a fundamentally lower status in the family just for being a child, that they deserve less weight in the family's utility function. I don't think this is what parents would be saying if recreational authoritarianism really were not a factor. They would still say that they, by virtue of their superior experience and judgment, get to make the rules (i.e., decide how to go about maximizing the family's utility function, though even this might be done with more authoritarianism than is necessary). But you wouldn't be hearing this "I'm higher than you in the pecking order and don't you dare forget it" attitude that is so very common."

 

[grahamg]

This is an easy one. If the house is jointly owned or rooms rented out, then it would make sense for the parties to sit down and make rules they can both live with and have it witnesed by some authority. That way, when troubles arise, they can return to the document and say :"see, I told you so!"

Don't we all hate those people who say, "see, I told you so" though(?).
(you were joking I'm guessing, unless as you suggested it is a lodger or tenant being referred to).