The power of Negative Thinking, (looking on the bright side can become too much, an article concerning Toxic Positivity)

grahamg

grahamg

Old codger
Location
South of Manchester, UK
This article rang some bells with me, and some extracts taken from the book it refers to:
https://www.thetimes.co.uk/article/how-to-harness-the-power-of-negative-thinking-5pbzbpqrk

Quote:
"Sick of the "be eternally grateful, good vibes only" crew? You're not alone - according to a new book, relentless positivity can be more toxic than you think says a professional grouch,.... "

"At least four times a year somebody — let’s call them a builder — bellows at me: “Cheer up, it might never happen!” There are few words that get me more worked up than that combo. “Presented by Vernon Kay” is another, but one learns how to avoid him. Look, I have a miserable face. It is just the way my mouth settles, like a shallow railway bridge."


Here is a related article too:
https://www.psychreg.org/negative-thinking-powerful/

Quote:
"So much of coaching and personal development is based on the theory that negative thinking is not good for us and we need more positive thinking. Because of this, the upside of negative thinking often gets overlooked and disregarded. In truth, learning to tap into its wisdom can be enlightening and even motivating.

In studies conducted at the School of Psychology at the University of New South Wales, researchers discovered that negative people communicate better, think more clearly, make fewer mistakes, are less gullible, and are better at decision-making. The reason? Negative people have enhanced ‘information-processing strategies’, which means they use the critical part of their brain more successfully than cheerful people."
 

officerripley said:
Another book along the same lines:

View attachment 203451

Very good book, highly recommend (along with everything this writer has written).
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I will have to find time to read one of these books some day, (though negative person that I am I've no idea when! :). ).
I may wait until they start appearing in "charity shops" where so many well intentioned self help book tend to congregate, or end up as you may know, (though I admit again so many "positive thinking book" don't grab me, so I may feel the same about the opposite too?).
 
grahamg said:
This article rang some bells with me, and some extracts taken from the book it refers to:
https://www.thetimes.co.uk/article/how-to-harness-the-power-of-negative-thinking-5pbzbpqrk

Quote:
"Sick of the "be eternally grateful, good vibes only" crew? You're not alone - according to a new book, relentless positivity can be more toxic than you think says a professional grouch,.... "

"At least four times a year somebody — let’s call them a builder — bellows at me: “Cheer up, it might never happen!” There are few words that get me more worked up than that combo. “Presented by Vernon Kay” is another, but one learns how to avoid him. Look, I have a miserable face. It is just the way my mouth settles, like a shallow railway bridge."


Here is a related article too:
https://www.psychreg.org/negative-thinking-powerful/

Quote:
"So much of coaching and personal development is based on the theory that negative thinking is not good for us and we need more positive thinking. Because of this, the upside of negative thinking often gets overlooked and disregarded. In truth, learning to tap into its wisdom can be enlightening and even motivating.

In studies conducted at the School of Psychology at the University of New South Wales, researchers discovered that negative people communicate better, think more clearly, make fewer mistakes, are less gullible, and are better at decision-making. The reason? Negative people have enhanced ‘information-processing strategies’, which means they use the critical part of their brain more successfully than cheerful people."
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More comments from the above first article:
https://www.thetimes.co.uk/article/how-to-harness-the-power-of-negative-thinking-5pbzbpqrk
Quote:
"At least four times a year somebody — let’s call them a builder — bellows at me: “Cheer up, it might never happen!” There are few words that get me more worked up than that combo. “Presented by Vernon Kay” is another, but one learns how to avoid him. Look, I have a miserable face. It is just the way my mouth settles, like a shallow railway bridge. I never liked smiling in photos, so a glum expression is my comfort zone and, I guess, people think that yelling positivity at me will snap me out of it, turn my lemons into lemonade.

And what if I prefer lemons? Lemonade is sweet, sickly, fizzy, short-term and vulgar. Lemons? More versatile, applicable to more that is."

More comments from the second article above:
https://www.psychreg.org/negative-thinking-powerful/

Quote:
"As human beings, our brains have a ‘negativity bias’, meaning we are built with a greater sensitivity to unpleasant news. The bias is so automatic that it can be detected at the earliest stage of the brain’s information processing.

In a series of studies by John Cacioppo, then at Ohio State University, now at the University of Chicago, he showed that the brain reacts more strongly to stimuli it deems negative.

Participants were shown pictures known to arouse positive feelings (say, a Ferrari, or a pizza), those certain to stir up negative feelings (a mutilated face or dead cat) and those known to produce neutral feelings (a plate, a hairdryer). The results showed that activity in the brain’s cerebral cortex that reflects the magnitude of information processing taking place increased when participants were shown images that stirred up negative feelings.

The brain developed systems that would make it unavoidable for us not to notice danger because our survival depended on it. So we need to understand that negative thinking patterns are normal, though remember that excessive negative thinking patterns are not healthy either.

In the same way, too much positive thinking can be unhealthy. It all comes down to balance.

People automatically connect positive thinking with happiness. They presume they can mask their true emotions with superficial signs of joy and expect it to bring contentment. For example, if you are always telling yourself that you’re fit and healthy, but your actions are that of laziness and unhealthy habits, then you are just perpetuating a lie that doesn’t help you."
 
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Positive thinking is fine if it doesn't turn the corner into being dishonest with yourself and others. Sometimes it can be downright hurtful as when some cheery person tells a disabled person they can be anything they want to be when they clearly cannot do certain things.

My husband and I were with another older person at lunch one day when we happened to complain about some new appliance we had bought and he said "new and improved," tends to be "new and worse" these days. She jumped all over us, telling us she had promised herself she would never be our kind of complaining old person and she hated negativity, etc. Whew!

I thought complaining was one of the perks of getting old!
 
Della said:
Positive thinking is fine if it doesn't turn the corner into being dishonest with yourself and others. Sometimes it can be downright hurtful as when some cheery person tells a disabled person they can be anything they want to be when they clearly cannot do certain things.
My husband and I were with another older person at lunch one day when we happened to complain about some new appliance we had bought and he said "new and improved," tends to be "new and worse" these days. She jumped all over us, telling us she had promised herself she would never be our kind of complaining old person and she hated negativity, etc. Whew!
I thought complaining was one of the perks of getting old!
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You are in tune with the article used in the OP as you may know:

Here is some more from it:
"Put it this way: our being sour (negative) is widely considered inferior to someone being sweet (positive), but in this world of endless a disappointment isn't being relentlessly upbeat less a gorgeous horizon, more a road to nowhere?

Which brings me to Toxic Positivity: Keeping It s; Real in a World Obsessed with Being Happy, a new book by the American psychotherapist. It begins with the introduction, You Deserve More Than 'Just Good Vibes, and I've never been so hooked. I speak to the author over Zoom. She lives in Miami, where her practice has been offering help to people who don't want to be told everything is great. Toxic positivity is the idea that, no matter how bad something is, the best way out of it is a positive mindset. Well, that sounds very American, you say, but it has also swarmed to Britain, thanks to the fact that on social media you get more likes for posts about life than death."

"I noticed there were tons of quotes that felt victim-blaming and inspirational:' she says. I thought, 'Wow, if my clients saw these they would feel really terrible.'' She means "Live Laugh Love" dross such as "So many people have it worse. Be grateful for what you have!" Or "Your thoughts create your own reality", which is interesting for anyone on their 17th bad date of the week.

She litters her book with examples - "Whatever you decide to do in life, make sure that it makes you happy!" being a vacuous nadir, given most people hate their job. In one chapter she looks at times when being positive can in fact be damaging, not just annoying. One woman came to see her after several miscarriages. "At least there are other ways to make a family," she had been told, but what she really wanted to hear was: "That is so painful." Not, as someone a couple of straps short of a straitjacket said: "Think positive and the baby will come"!

"Feeling difficult emotion can help bring you to the other side:' the author argues. Yes, but tell a happy-dapper they are too upbeat and they will tell you to not be so negative. "And that's testament to how much this has been drilled in," the author says. "The idea that positivity is key to everything. When you tell people it's not, it can be confusing."

"Complaining has a really bad reputation. Articles and gurus insist that too much complaining will "lower your vibration" and stop you from achieving your dreams, having friends and living the life you want. They suggest that you cut out negativity from your life, especially people who complain. However, complaining is one of the main ways that we bond with others and create emotional connection. It's an effective way to share how you feel, connect and evoke empathy in the listener. Complaining does serve a real purpose in our lives, and once we discover how to integrate it effectively, great things can happen."
 
Maybe this is an example of how positive thinking is harmful.
I'm positive that something is going to go wrong with the batch of bread I'm going to make.

I'm positive it's reasonable to apply that kind positivity to any thing.
 
Knight said:
Maybe this is an example of how positive thinking is harmful.
I'm positive that something is going to go wrong with the batch of bread I'm going to make.
I'm positive it's reasonable to apply that kind positivity to any thing.
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If I can manage it I will try to come back with more examples of situations where being overly positive does do harm, (albeit unintentional harm in most cases one supposes).
However, those with a positive attitude to life do probably overcome most difficulties they encounter better than others, a very positive friend of mine, was like this, (who I used to call my "second mother", a description most unfair to my own dear mum of course, but mum did tend to look at life in a negative way quite often, and was harder to talk openly to). :)
 
Serenity4321 said:
I tend to like positive thinking but not in the extreme. I think it must be tempered with realism and practicality. I like thoughts like..I can handle anything that happens.
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I agree ... balance is the key.
I always look for best case scenario and worst case....... hope for the best be prepared for the worst.

Those whom only focus on the positive take it very badly if something does not work out.
 
Yea, I 've been married to the same gal for almost 66 yrs Together we had 4 kids and a resulting flock of grands and great grands. Never unemployed, had some health issues that operations cleared up, as has my wife.

Now I find that instead of considering myself lucky and thinking that the world has treated me "right", I should slip into the mental doldrums and focus how it really hasn't been such a good life and I should focus on a few of the things that have gone wrong along the way.

Not for me. I'll always (in the short time I have left -I'm 88) try to look on the bright side and hope that it'll brighten up my life and the lives of those around me.

If you've had a tough life, you've got a perfect right to have bad thoughts. I'd surely be the same but don't "manufacture" bad feelings just to level out the scales.
 
DaveA said:
Yea, I 've been married to the same gal for almost 66 yrs Together we had 4 kids and a resulting flock of grands and great grands. Never unemployed, had some health issues that operations cleared up, as has my wife.

Now I find that instead of considering myself lucky and thinking that the world has treated me "right", I should slip into the mental doldrums and focus how it really hasn't been such a good life and I should focus on a few of the things that have gone wrong along the way.

Not for me. I'll always (in the short time I have left -I'm 88) try to look on the bright side and hope that it'll brighten up my life and the lives of those around me.

If you've had a tough life, you've got a perfect right to have bad thoughts. I'd surely be the same but don't "manufacture" bad feelings just to level out the scales.
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Congrats! I was married 50 years before my husband died. I agree everyone has a 'right' to have bad thoughts but why should one choose them??? and that is what it is ..a choice..imo
 
Serenity4321 said:
Congrats! I was married 50 years before my husband died. I agree everyone has a 'right' to have bad thoughts but why should one choose them??? and that is what it is ..a choice..imo
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You are both right in so many ways I'm sure, and don't wish to question your views really, except to say, (using another one of my fathers sayings), "It wouldn't do if everyone in the world were the same"! :)
 
Being realistic is not negative thinking. Negative thinking is counterproductive to healing. It is well known that having a positive attitude toward any conflict will open the doors to healing. The opposite is true, if we entertain negative thoughts ( not based on realistic information ) it will cause more harm. I will choose the former so that myself and others will have as much well being as possible.
 
Positive thinking is overrated for the masses. It will sell books. The negative thinker is realistic and likely to be right but the positive person is happier according to a study. My mother was loaded with phony optimism. And cliches like the glass is half full even when she knew nothing. I like people who complain about life Not about me. A critical man is often smarter. Beware of wishful thinking!
 
Being negative all the time makes you a grumpy ole' man/woman. Being positive all the time seems to indicate that you are hiding behind rose-coloured glasses. I like to call "an ace an ace" and just use common sense. Yes, I would like more common sense. I see very little of it during these Covid days!
 
Whenever I start planning on doing something, I try to think about what could go wrong, ahead of time. That has kept me from making a lot of stupid mistakes, over the years. Negativity IS part of everyday life, and taking it into consideration, beforehand, can help increase the chances of Positivity.
 

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