As long as there is someone to blame, you don't have to take responsibility for anything!

grahamg

grahamg

Old codger
Location
South of Manchester, UK
Occasionally I rally against the behaviour of some "so called mates", (friend whose friendship may be described as "half hearted", and have a tendency to try to bully you!).

A characteristic I noticed some time ago, is their desire to always have someone to blame in almost every situation, and there ready should anything go wrong, but I'm only starting to realise just how far this goes, (and how many "so called mates" seem to have a bit of this in their make up!).

I know it could just be me, or at least it is my responsibility for who I choose to call any kind of a friend, but really, where does all this behaviour come from do you think, (my guess is selfishness, and some slightly weird spoilt upbringing). :(
 

grahamg said:
Occasionally I rally against the behaviour of some "so called mates", (friend whose friendship may be described as "half hearted", and have a tendency to try to bully you!).

A characteristic I noticed some time ago, is their desire to always have someone to blame in almost every situation, and there ready should anything go wrong, but I'm only starting to realise just how far this goes, (and how many "so called mates" seem to have a bit of this in their make up!).

I know it could just be me, or at least it is my responsibility for who I choose to call any kind of a friend, but really, where does all this behaviour come from do you think, (my guess is selfishness, and some slightly weird spoilt upbringing). :(
Click to expand...
I believe this comes with the entitlement attitude so common these days.. we create it... personal responsibility is as rare as a four leaf clover anymore.
Unfortunately i have watched a person who was very responsible and not blaming type .... sort of if you can not beat them join them thing ...
spent the end of her life blaming all her self inflicted problems on everyone or thing she could.

This behavior seems to grow like fungus. I see as one bad apple ruins the whole bunch. .... look everywhere there is an excuse for any bad behavior or condition.....
from crimes .... like the excusing theft cause the suspect was poor etc.
and do not even look very far to see how all sorts of stuff probably for years will be blamed on Covid.....
 
Last edited:

iu
 

Grahammg. I totally agree. I certainly don’t remember that attitude being in existence to the extent it is these days. If I am having a chat with someone and they start blaming everything and anything bar themselves, I lose interest straight away.
 
It could be a learned behavior like from one's upbringing. I believe that's where most behavior originates. Someone did it and someone learned it by example.

It takes some real undoing to change it. Someone needs to be aware of the behavior if it's a problem and take steps to try a better behavior. It's possible.
 
That is a sign of lower emotional intelligence, experience, and maturity of which there are many that remain so all their adult life that aren't aware how intelligent others perceive them and likely communicate within groups of like others. Upon making mistakes or within discussions, they tend to start by making defensive statements. In arguing points or criticizing others, the wise tact in debate 101 is to begin by first honestly acknowledging the opposite positions one agrees with and then state your converse arguments.

https://www.bustle.com/wellness/hig...traits-heres-how-to-tell-if-youre-one-of-them
snippet:

6 You Recognize Your Limits
Highly intelligent people don't try to act as if they know everything. In fact, a sign of intelligence is recognizing the fact that you don't know everything. "If they can't do something they don't try and act as if they can," Jackson says. "Instead they know their limits and can admit it. This allows them to be open to learning more from others and/or situations."
 
Back in the late eighties I made a monumental blunder with a client, name of Marks & Spencer. M&S are hard task masters, I could have blamed any number of people in the supply chain, but I took full responsibility, I should have checked, but didn't. M&S asked me to put the mistake right within 48 hours. It couldn't be done, rather than say yes, I endured their wrath, when I promised that it would all be corrected within 72 hours. They agreed and, as promised, the mistake was made good.

Two days later my regional manager and a manager from M&S called on me. I really thought that I was well and truly in deep doo-doo.
Instead of that I was given an envelope of M&S vouchers to distribute among my staff in grateful thanks for, accepting accountability of the error, then furthermore, being honest in quoting 72 hours to put the mistake right. I am not one for making mistakes, indeed I have found a few that have been corrected before a problem like the M&S experience manifested itself, but on that occasion I simply didn't check. If ever there was a lesson to learn about honesty, that experience taught me well. People do make errors, it's the one who owns up that others soon learn to trust.
 
horseless carriage said:
Back in the late eighties I made a monumental blunder with a client, name of Marks & Spencer. M&S are hard task masters, I could have blamed any number of people in the supply chain, but I took full responsibility, I should have checked, but didn't. M&S asked me to put the mistake right within 48 hours. It couldn't be done, rather than say yes, I endured their wrath, when I promised that it would all be corrected within 72 hours. They agreed and, as promised, the mistake was made good.

Two days later my regional manager and a manager from M&S called on me. I really thought that I was well and truly in deep doo-doo.
Instead of that I was given an envelope of M&S vouchers to distribute among my staff in grateful thanks for, accepting accountability of the error, then furthermore, being honest in quoting 72 hours to put the mistake right. I am not one for making mistakes, indeed I have found a few that have been corrected before a problem like the M&S experience manifested itself, but on that occasion I simply didn't check. If ever there was a lesson to learn about honesty, that experience taught me well. People do make errors, it's the one who owns up that others soon learn to trust.
Click to expand...
Very "well said",(and done of course), I could have said the same for all the posts above but yours stood out! :)
 
horseless carriage said:
Back in the late eighties I made a monumental blunder with a client, name of Marks & Spencer. M&S are hard task masters, I could have blamed any number of people in the supply chain, but I took full responsibility, I should have checked, but didn't. M&S asked me to put the mistake right within 48 hours. It couldn't be done, rather than say yes, I endured their wrath, when I promised that it would all be corrected within 72 hours. They agreed and, as promised, the mistake was made good.

Two days later my regional manager and a manager from M&S called on me. I really thought that I was well and truly in deep doo-doo.
Instead of that I was given an envelope of M&S vouchers to distribute among my staff in grateful thanks for, accepting accountability of the error, then furthermore, being honest in quoting 72 hours to put the mistake right. I am not one for making mistakes, indeed I have found a few that have been corrected before a problem like the M&S experience manifested itself, but on that occasion I simply didn't check. If ever there was a lesson to learn about honesty, that experience taught me well. People do make errors, it's the one who owns up that others soon learn to trust.
Click to expand...
Well done, Horsie. (y) :giggle:
 
Remy said:
You talking about my mother? Because that was her.
Click to expand...
Your dear mother can't surely have been as awkward as mine, (not that mum was guilty of the behaviour described in the OP, or thread title), but I didn't fully realise just how much she had to put up with until after she'd gone, nor just what a supporter of me she'd been either! :)
 
All of the above is very interesting…I usually blame the weather for just about everything..seriously though..it annoys me no end ..every time I read of a serial killer..seems the mother is to blame….
 
Snow74 said:
All of the above is very interesting…I usually blame the weather for just about everything..seriously though..it annoys me no end ..every time I read of a serial killer..seems the mother is to blame….
Click to expand...
If you don't mind my saying that seems to me like a case where both patents, (and any/all stepparents), have questions to answer, but for lesser crimes or misdemeanors, I do take your point!
 
The trouble is that often someone will blame another person who isn't actually responsible. I have a neighbour like that at the moment. I mentioned something to her and she immediately said,' That will be so-and-so'. I believed her until I asked the person concerned and he knew nothing about it. I'm wondering now if she has blamed me for something which I didn't do!
 

You must log in or register to reply here.

Back
Top