A New Foster Child!

Murrmurr

Murrmurr

SF VIP
Location
Sacramento, California
Michelle and I will be getting a new foster child on either Monday or Tuesday! Soon as she's released from the hospital. She's 6 weeks old. It's against the rules for me to post pictures (hope I don't forget at some point ;) ) and can't use her name, so she'll be Lil K (or just K). She was in neonatal intensive care (NICU) from birth until a few days ago, born with meth in her system, respiratory problems, and jaundice, plus she required a blood transfusion, but she's doing really well, they said. Her worker emailed me a photo and some documents, and she's super tiny (it's a newborn photo, tho) and her face is all puffy 'round the eyes in the picture but she looks real cute. She has lots of black hair, a teeny tiny nose, and her lips are kind of pooched out like she's doing a baby duck-face. Lil K was born for selfies.

She might only be with us a short while; until a relative steps up. But the family's had 6 weeks to come up with a relative who qualifies (per CPS and Family Law), so she could be here for several months or so....either until her mother completes rehab and all that, or until Lil K is adopted. That generally happens when the child is about 18 months old and the parent fails to complete rehab and all the court-ordered programs. ...Didn't happen for me and Paxton, but sometimes you get a judge who makes stupid, inexplicable decisions.

Anyway, we're (suddenly) having a baby!

I'll be setting up the crib tomorrow morning and then we gotta go shop for diapers, bottles, formula and onesies and all that stuff. CPS babies always arrive with nothing but the clothes on their backs and a few disposable diapers.
 

Murrmurr said:
Michelle and I will be getting a new foster child on either Monday or Tuesday! Soon as she's released from the hospital. She's 6 weeks old. It's against the rules for me to post pictures (hope I don't forget at some point ;) ) and can't use her name, so she'll be Lil K (or just K). She was in neonatal intensive care (NICU) from birth until a few days ago, born with meth in her system, respiratory problems, and jaundice, plus she required a blood transfusion, but she's doing really well, they said. Her worker emailed me a photo and some documents, and she's super tiny (it's a newborn photo, tho) and her face is all puffy 'round the eyes in the picture but she looks real cute. She has lots of black hair, a teeny tiny nose, and her lips are kind of pooched out like she's doing a baby duck-face. Lil K was born for selfies.

She might only be with us a short while; until a relative steps up. But the family's had 6 weeks to come up with a relative who qualifies (per CPS and Family Law), so she could be here for several months or so....either until her mother completes rehab and all that, or until Lil K is adopted. That generally happens when the child is about 18 months old and the parent fails to complete rehab and all the court-ordered programs. ...Didn't happen for me and Paxton, but sometimes you get a judge who makes stupid, inexplicable decisions.

Anyway, we're (suddenly) having a baby!

I'll be setting up the crib tomorrow morning and then we gotta go shop for diapers, bottles, formula and onesies and all that stuff. CPS babies always arrive with nothing but the clothes on their backs and a few disposable diapers.
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What a joyous moment! So glad for you! Hug the baby for me!:)
 
Murrmurr said:
Michelle and I will be getting a new foster child on either Monday or Tuesday! Soon as she's released from the hospital. She's 6 weeks old. It's against the rules for me to post pictures (hope I don't forget at some point ;) ) and can't use her name, so she'll be Lil K (or just K). She was in neonatal intensive care (NICU) from birth until a few days ago, born with meth in her system, respiratory problems, and jaundice, plus she required a blood transfusion, but she's doing really well, they said. Her worker emailed me a photo and some documents, and she's super tiny (it's a newborn photo, tho) and her face is all puffy 'round the eyes in the picture but she looks real cute. She has lots of black hair, a teeny tiny nose, and her lips are kind of pooched out like she's doing a baby duck-face. Lil K was born for selfies.

She might only be with us a short while; until a relative steps up. But the family's had 6 weeks to come up with a relative who qualifies (per CPS and Family Law), so she could be here for several months or so....either until her mother completes rehab and all that, or until Lil K is adopted. That generally happens when the child is about 18 months old and the parent fails to complete rehab and all the court-ordered programs. ...Didn't happen for me and Paxton, but sometimes you get a judge who makes stupid, inexplicable decisions.

Anyway, we're (suddenly) having a baby!

I'll be setting up the crib tomorrow morning and then we gotta go shop for diapers, bottles, formula and onesies and all that stuff. CPS babies always arrive with nothing but the clothes on their backs and a few disposable diapers.
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Frank, I am so happy for you both. Those empty arms of yours will be full again. Lil K had a rough start, but in your good care, she will blossom. 🌹 👶🍼
 
jujube said:
Congrats, Murrmurr. Best of luck with Little K.

It's a blessed thing you're doing.

My parents fostered for years and once had a family of six kids who were with them for a couple of years. No babies, though. That takes a special type of person.....especially for the babies who come with Fetal Alcohol Syndrome or drug addiction
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When I was told I could only take kids under age 2 and that I'd probably only get babies (cuz I only have 1 bedroom), I almost changed my mind about fostering. I couldn't picture myself with a baby. It seemed weird. But then Paxton moved in, not even a month old, and it was easier and more fun than I thought it would be.

He cried A LOT the first 5 months, and he was freaking loud! But I don't sleep that well anyway, and I found out I have become very patient on my way down this side of the hill. And when I hit on the idea of giving him donated mother's milk, the crying stopped. It was his tummy all along, poor guy.

It was weird having a freezer full of breast milk for several months, too, but hey, you do watchya gotta.

I remember Pax sitting beside me in his baby-chair thing while I sat at the table soldiering dozens or even hundreds of packets of breast milk in these long narrow boxes I made, setting them all up according to date. Then I'd slide the boxes side by side into the freezer. And I'd take Paxton with me to pick up the donations, which I guess was unusual because the donating mothers would be all excited to see who was getting their milk, and they'd make over him and stuff. So that was fun for both of us. Kinda fun for the ladies, too bc they were always so surprised to see that the recipient foster parent was this old bald guy. Some of them would give me advice, you know, like you would do with a first-time parent, and their eyes would be the size of saucers the whole time, like they were thinking "OMG, old dude with a baby, handling my milk....this can't be right!"
 
That sounds so exciting, though I suppose it will be a lot of work. I've never had a baby to care for, it seems a little scary to me.

Will the baby be having visits? I did a little foster care of elementary age children until I got to keep my daughter, and I thought when I retired I would do it again, but now that I'm retiring I want to travel instead (though still trying to figure out how to afford it).

I enjoyed having the kids but all the driving back and forth to visits and finding something to do with myself while waiting was tedious. One memory I have of picking up a kid from a visit with her mom, was them coming out of the building together and the child ran up to me with a big cheerful 'Hi Mom!' and it was so naughty of her because she didn't usually call me mom and was just doing it to annoy her mother. But, I'm sure the mother deserved some pay-back because she sure failed in her parental duties.
 
HoneyNut said:
That sounds so exciting, though I suppose it will be a lot of work. I've never had a baby to care for, it seems a little scary to me.

Will the baby be having visits? I did a little foster care of elementary age children until I got to keep my daughter, and I thought when I retired I would do it again, but now that I'm retiring I want to travel instead (though still trying to figure out how to afford it).

I enjoyed having the kids but all the driving back and forth to visits and finding something to do with myself while waiting was tedious. One memory I have of picking up a kid from a visit with her mom, was them coming out of the building together and the child ran up to me with a big cheerful 'Hi Mom!' and it was so naughty of her because she didn't usually call me mom and was just doing it to annoy her mother. But, I'm sure the mother deserved some pay-back because she sure failed in her parental duties.
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Visits depend on how long Lil K will be with us. After the mom enters rehab she'll be isolated for several weeks, then she'll be in counseling and go to parenting class 3 times a week, plus whatever other programs the court requires; so the mom is kept super busy for another several weeks and she'll get supervised one-hour visits once a week. The county will transport Lil K to the visitors center, or I can take her...which I probably will. Then, if all goes well, the visits go to twice a week, then 3 times a week unsupervised, then an overnight visit once a week, then the one overnight plus weekends.

But again, the county provides transportation. My foster son, Paxton cried his eyes out on those trips, so I took him to all the visits myself. It was great because it was a good time to talk to him - to prepare him mentally for the visit, get him to relax about it or jazzed up for it if he was feeling down. Like, I would know if a trip to the zoo was planned, so I'd tell him he was going to see some cool animals, or I'd tell him his mom was super-super excited about seeing him....stuff like that.
 
Jeni said:
how exciting .. it takes a strong person to be able to foster and i have always admired those committed to helping the kids and babies.
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To be Frank, the hardest part is dealing with CPS and the court. You get limited information, limited support, and they dismiss a lot of what you say and some of your concerns. Paxton's Sacramento County caseworker was a gem. His Amador County worker is ....not.
 
Pinky said:
Bless you and Michelle. You will both be making such an impact on this precious little girl's early days. There's nothing like cuddling a sleeping infant in one's arms. This is just what your heart needs right now.
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I agree with all of this!
Congratulations, Frank, to you and Michelle, and enjoy those precious moments, in the present time!:love:
 

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