Weirdest thing, reminiscing

Mr. Ed

Mr. Ed

Be what you is not what you what you ain’t
Location
Central NY
I have been down in the dumps for a little while now. Yesterday, I had a different type acupuncture treatment than usual to curb my appetite. The rest of the day I reminisced about things I had done wrong to people in my life. I thought about an obnoxious coworker who bad-mouthed a resident when I worked at drug/alcohol rehab halfway house. I told the resident what my worker said which ultimately led to his dismissal. It still haunts me divulging a confidential conversation to a resident whether he deserved to know. It was selfish of me because I did not like my coworker and I used an unsavory tactic to transfer him to a different department.

Character is who we are, behavior, expresses character.

I regret my behavior.
 
I new a kindly old man when I was around ten years old who told me once that he though it was strange that he had a hard time remembering what happened yesterday but all the things he had done throughout his life came back to him one by one as clear as if they had just happened. At the time it kind of went in one ear and out the other. I did not remember that conversation again until what he described started happening to me. Then I understood exactly what he was talking about. You are not alone. To this day the thoughts have not stopped but I found a productive way to help myself through it.
 
Mr. Ed said:
I have been down in the dumps for a little while now. Yesterday, I had a different type acupuncture treatment than usual to curb my appetite. The rest of the day I reminisced about things I had done wrong to people in my life. I thought about an obnoxious coworker who bad-mouthed a resident when I worked at drug/alcohol rehab halfway house. I told the resident what my worker said which ultimately led to his dismissal. It still haunts me divulging a confidential conversation to a resident whether he deserved to know. It was selfish of me because I did not like my coworker and I used an unsavory tactic to transfer him to a different department.

Character is who we are, behavior, expresses character.

I regret my behavior.
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It's ok to regret wrongs done to others in the past. Forgiveness is more powerful than vengeance. It sounds like personal growth to me Ed.
 
Mr. Ed said:
I have been down in the dumps for a little while now. Yesterday, I had a different type acupuncture treatment than usual to curb my appetite. The rest of the day I reminisced about things I had done wrong to people in my life. I thought about an obnoxious coworker who bad-mouthed a resident when I worked at drug/alcohol rehab halfway house. I told the resident what my worker said which ultimately led to his dismissal. It still haunts me divulging a confidential conversation to a resident whether he deserved to know. It was selfish of me because I did not like my coworker and I used an unsavory tactic to transfer him to a different department.

Character is who we are, behavior, expresses character.

I regret my behavior.
Click to expand...
What you did was unethical but possibly the outcome was the right one. If anyone said something unpleasant about me, I would prefer to know, even if it upset me. It is when someone lies that a real sin is committed.
You need to forgive yourself and move on.
It's strange how we dwell on the negative. I struggle to remember the good things that have happened. Perhaps that is a sign that we haven't quite come to terms with the past.
 
Mr. Ed said:
I have been down in the dumps for a little while now. Yesterday, I had a different type acupuncture treatment than usual to curb my appetite. The rest of the day I reminisced about things I had done wrong to people in my life. I thought about an obnoxious coworker who bad-mouthed a resident when I worked at drug/alcohol rehab halfway house. I told the resident what my worker said which ultimately led to his dismissal. It still haunts me divulging a confidential conversation to a resident whether he deserved to know. It was selfish of me because I did not like my coworker and I used an unsavory tactic to transfer him to a different department.

Character is who we are, behavior, expresses character.

I regret my behavior.
Click to expand...
While I understand your regrets, you may have actually done this co-worker a favor. Respecting people we're paid to serve is a crucial part of many jobs.
Presumably this man learned an important lesson. As did you.
 
oldpop said:
I new a kindly old man when I was around ten years old who told me once that he though it was strange that he had a hard time remembering what happened yesterday but all the things he had done throughout his life came back to him one by one as clear as if they had just happened. At the time it kind of went in one ear and out the other. I did not remember that conversation again until what he described started happening to me. Then I understood exactly what he was talking about. You are not alone. To this day the thoughts have not stopped but I found a productive way to help myself through it.
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So, if I may ask, what is your productive way to handle this phenomena?
 
Em in Ohio said:
So, if I may ask, what is your productive way to handle this phenomena?
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Yes you may ask. I made a conscious effort to remember the people that I have harmed and made a list of them all. I became willing to make amends to them all wherever possible except, when to do so would injure them or others. I make those amends in person if possible. If that is not possible I contact them by phone. If I cannot do that I write them a letter. If I cannot find them or they have passed away I write them a letter and burn it when it is finished. Of course all of this must be done with sincerity.

This is an ongoing process as new memories and experiences come to mind and are created as time goes by. Most twelve step programs use this same process in their programs and literature and that is where I got the idea. It has worked well for me. It also keeps me in check because I do not want to cause new issues that I will eventually have to make amends for. The twelve steps offer a way to grow spiritually for anyone. Not just specific groups. That has been my experience anyway.
 
Mr. Ed said:
I have been down in the dumps for a little while now. Yesterday, I had a different type acupuncture treatment than usual to curb my appetite. The rest of the day I reminisced about things I had done wrong to people in my life. I thought about an obnoxious coworker who bad-mouthed a resident when I worked at drug/alcohol rehab halfway house. I told the resident what my worker said which ultimately led to his dismissal. It still haunts me divulging a confidential conversation to a resident whether he deserved to know. It was selfish of me because I did not like my coworker and I used an unsavory tactic to transfer him to a different department.

Character is who we are, behavior, expresses character.

I regret my behavior.
Click to expand...
That coworker sounds like a nasty piece of work who had the wrong attitude for the job. If that's the worst thing you've ever done, you're doing okay. :) :)
 
oldpop said:
Yes you may ask. I made a conscious effort to remember the people that I have harmed and made a list of them all. I became willing to make amends to them all wherever possible except, when to do so would injure them or others. I make those amends in person if possible. If that is not possible I contact them by phone. If I cannot do that I write them a letter. If I cannot find them or they have passed away I write them a letter and burn it when it is finished. Of course all of this must be done with sincerity.

This is an ongoing process as new memories and experiences come to mind and are created as time goes by. Most twelve step programs use this same process in their programs and literature and that is where I got the idea. It has worked well for me. It also keeps me in check because I do not want to cause new issues that I will eventually have to make amends for. The twelve steps offer a way to grow spiritually for anyone. Not just specific groups. That has been my experience anyway.
Click to expand...
 
I'll tell you what's weird: reminiscing about something that never happened.

I vividly "remember" a trip to Russia with my mother. I've never been to Russia, never less with my mother. I've been reminiscing about it for years. As I said, my memories are vivid.

There are other memories, too, about things that never happened.

It's like something from the movie "Total Recall".

And, before you ask.....no, I've never done LSD or peyote or any other mind-altering drugs. My mind is weird enough without any outside assistance.
 
jujube said:
I'll tell you what's weird: reminiscing about something that never happened.

I vividly "remember" a trip to Russia with my mother. I've never been to Russia, never less with my mother. I've been reminiscing about it for years. As I said, my memories are vivid.

There are other memories, too, about things that never happened.

It's like something from the movie "Total Recall".

And, before you ask.....no, I've never done LSD or peyote or any other mind-altering drugs. My mind is weird enough without any outside assistance.
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Total Recall is one of my favorite movies. I sometimes write myself into dreams of scripts playing on tv. This is probably because I sleep with the tv on or not at all.
 
Em in Ohio said:
Old Pop said: "Yes you may ask. I made a conscious effort to remember the people that I have harmed and made a list of them all. I became willing to make amends to them all wherever possible except, when to do so would injure them or others. I make those amends in person if possible. If that is not possible I contact them by phone. If I cannot do that I write them a letter. If I cannot find them or they have passed away I write them a letter and burn it when it is finished. Of course all of this must be done with sincerity."
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Em in Ohio said:
Old Pop - My friend in AA (long, long ago) shared little booklets of wisdom - the program has many benefits. I just didn't qualify. But, I'm glad their techniques help you!
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jujube said:
I'll tell you what's weird: reminiscing about something that never happened.

I vividly "remember" a trip to Russia with my mother. I've never been to Russia, never less with my mother. I've been reminiscing about it for years. As I said, my memories are vivid.

There are other memories, too, about things that never happened.

It's like something from the movie "Total Recall".

And, before you ask.....no, I've never done LSD or peyote or any other mind-altering drugs. My mind is weird enough without any outside assistance.
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It's kind of cool having a vivid imagination, but the uncertainty between reality and imagination must be difficult. The capabilities of the mind never cease to amaze me.

When governmental agencies tested hallucinogenic substances for mind control was unethical, but if the tests had been successful, governments would dose unsuspecting citizens to carry out their demands. Imagine if the authorities had the power to infiltrate people's minds to do what they are told to do?
 
Mr. Ed said:
It's kind of cool having a vivid imagination, but the uncertainty between reality and imagination must be difficult. The capabilities of the mind never cease to amaze me.

When governmental agencies tested hallucinogenic substances for mind control was unethical, but if the tests had been successful, governments would dose unsuspecting citizens to carry out their demands. Imagine if the authorities had the power to infiltrate people's minds to do what they are told to do?
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Don't you think that's exactly what they're already doing? :rolleyes:
 
Mr. Ed said:
It's kind of cool having a vivid imagination, but the uncertainty between reality and imagination must be difficult. The capabilities of the mind never cease to amaze me.

When governmental agencies tested hallucinogenic substances for mind control was unethical, but if the tests had been successful, governments would dose unsuspecting citizens to carry out their demands. Imagine if the authorities had the power to infiltrate people's minds to do what they are told to do?
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hmmm... Your last sentence caught my attention. Whomever controls the media is already doing that, I fear.
 
jujube said:
I'll tell you what's weird: reminiscing about something that never happened.

I vividly "remember" a trip to Russia with my mother. I've never been to Russia, never less with my mother. I've been reminiscing about it for years. As I said, my memories are vivid.
Click to expand...
The brain, and how it handles memories, is interesting. I've gotten several books about it that I intend to read. My interest started when two of my sons accused me of things that never happened. One of my sons went back to the day he was born with these memories. My sons were born at 27 weeks gestation, and there is no way that one can have memories of those early days.

I am sure I didn't just forget these things because I know myself - they are things I would never have done, and didn't do. Example: I caused the boys to have Fetal Alcohol Syndrome. I couldn't have, and didn't, because I didn't drink any alcohol for many years before and after my pregnancy with them. Example: I am an opioid addict. Absolutely untrue. I don't take opioids now, and haven't in the past unless they were extremely necessary (after open heart surgery) and prescribed by my doctor. I have never been addicted to them.
 
WheatenLover said:
The brain, and how it handles memories, is interesting. I've gotten several books about it that I intend to read. My interest started when two of my sons accused me of things that never happened. One of my sons went back to the day he was born with these memories. My sons were born at 27 weeks gestation, and there is no way that one can have memories of those early days.

I am sure I didn't just forget these things because I know myself - they are things I would never have done, and didn't do. Example: I caused the boys to have Fetal Alcohol Syndrome. I couldn't have, and didn't, because I didn't drink any alcohol for many years before and after my pregnancy with them. Example: I am an opioid addict. Absolutely untrue. I don't take opioids now, and haven't in the past unless they were extremely necessary (after open heart surgery) and prescribed by my doctor. I have never been addicted to them.
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I've had a similar issue, but not as drastic - Just one person saying an event happened one way with person 'A' responsible and me certain that it was person 'B.' This is why "witness reports" can be so unreliable. Even immediately after an event, the ways witnesses recall and interpret what they saw can vary widely. It's quite frightening. I just hope that I'm never called to be a witness.
 
Em in Ohio said:
I've had a similar issue, but not as drastic - Just one person saying an event happened one way with person 'A' responsible and me certain that it was person 'B.' This is why "witness reports" can be so unreliable. Even immediately after an event, the ways witnesses recall and interpret what they saw can vary widely. It's quite frightening. I just hope that I'm never called to be a witness.
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Your issue is really common, according to what I've read so far.
Eyewitness testimony is notoriously unreliable. That's a scary thought.
 
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