Message from Frank

Okay Frank, I am sorry I got onto you about the smoking thng. I really do understand, I have only quit 11 months ago.

The bright spot, now you know how much you mean to all of the people on this site. Your family even more so I would think. Take your time, when you are ready, you will be ready. Then you will be able to do it without to much suffering.
 

One great thing about smoking? Pain management. A long time smoker knows, even if they're unaware of it, that by smoking quickly the nicotine acts as a stimulate, like before a test, and conversely, by taking long slow drags, floods the nicotine receptors to act as a sedative, like before bed, or to calm nerves, or to reduce pain.

I smoked two packs a day for 25 years, quit, and have now been smoke-sober for 25 years. After all this time Frank's mention of his cigarette and tea being the best three minutes of his day, made me swoon with longing.

I wouldn't take his smokes away, right at this time, for anything in the world.
 

Della said:
One great thing about smoking? Pain management. A long time smoker knows, even if they're unaware of it, that by smoking quickly the nicotine acts as a stimulate, like before a test, and conversely, by taking long slow drags, floods the nicotine receptors to act as a sedative, like before bed, or to calm nerves, or to reduce pain.

I smoked two packs a day for 25 years, quit, and have now been smoke-sober for 25 years. After all this time Frank's mention of his cigarette and tea being the best three minutes of his day, made me swoon with longing.

I wouldn't take his smokes away, right at this time, for anything in the world.
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"smoke-sober" That's a good one. I like that.

Thank you, Della. And it's true, smoking takes pain off your mind and/or helps you relax through pain spikes and the stress that increases pain. When Paxton was given back to his mom, I smoked more than usual. When he begged me not to send him home with her after his weekends with me, I smoked more. I could go on and on about stressing over Paxton this past year.

Michelle pushed me to get back to meditating and doing tea rituals. I'd kind of gotten away from those routines while Pax lived here. He kept me pretty busy, and it was mostly fun-busy, so I smoked very little compared to after he left, and I hardly ever complained about my pain, too. He took my mind off all that. And, like, going outside to kick a ball around with him was a great diversion from both cigarettes and pain; having fun with Paxton was way more important than both those things, you know? Just loving him was.
 
Is there any way that your grandkids could come more often, and perhaps on a planned, more regular schedule? Just thinking, it might help you, and they might love it too, and they'd benefit for sure, as well.
 
Kaila said:
Is there any way that your grandkids could come more often, and perhaps on a planned, more regular schedule? Just thinking, it might help you, and they might love it too, and they'd benefit for sure, as well.
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They take turns spending every other weekend here; Ariel this weekend, Kirk the next. During summer vacation, they'll take turns staying 4 or 5 days in a row. Michelle has been unable to have children since a surgery when she was 24 (endometriosis), so she loves having them around as much as I do. Aside from going out for a meal now and then, we don't do a whole lot, but their home is very active and they seem to enjoy the relative calm at our place. They have friends here they hang out with, and they face-time with school chums on their laptops, play games on my computer, and help around the house. But mostly we talk and joke around a lot, once in a while we do a sort of handy-man project.

When they were little, I'd have them both every weekend, and one of their favorite things to do was, we'd build a big giant tent in the livingroom out of sheets, and toss in all the throw-pillows and some blankets, and I'd even put the small TV and a snack-tray in there for us. Now that they're older, 12 and 14, they like spending time apart from each other. So, not as distracting as it used to be (slower, more tranquil), but I miss them on the rare occasions they don't come over.
 
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