Your opinion on the gay lifestyle?

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jujube said:
So far, I've never had a gay person try to push their "lifestyle" on me. I wish I could say the same about some members of religious organizations or political parties, most or all of whom I assume are "straight".

I have gay friends, I have gay relatives. Love 'em all.

I don't care if you find love with the opposite sex, the same sex, a tree or your '66 Corvette......just be kind and faithful to your chosen partner.
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love the sentiment.

Just want to say, I love muscle cars and I would be faithful to a restored '66 Corvette!!!!!!! :):)
 
I don't have an issue with people's sexuality or their lifestyle. However, I don't like it when anyone tries to force me into something I have no interest in pursuing. I've had to make that clear to a few people in my lifetime.

My best friend in high school was gay. We had many interests in common in and outside of school and spent a lot of time together. When we were a bit older, we went to the theater together, to concerts, out to dinner, and to dance clubs. We had a blast together. He treated me better than any boyfriend I had until I met my husband. I could always count on him to be there for me no matter what. We loved each other then, and we still do fifty years later. He dated but was never a man whore. After his first husband died, he remarried and has been with his second husband for over twenty years.

I remember when we were kids, sitting around one afternoon talking, and I asked him, "When did you know you were gay?" He said, "I was four. I didn't know I was gay or what gay was, but I knew I was different." He was openly gay in high school. Life wasn't and isn't easy for gay kids, especially when they come out so early. Because he was "different", he told me he was a very lonely child. He always lived an authentic life, much to his credit. I admire him.

I also have other gay friends, both male and female, that I've known for many years. Some ran around back in the day and bumped anything that would bump them back. But I also had straight friends who behaved in the same manner. This was before "free love" could kill you. There was no AIDS at that time. Yes, you could get sexually transmitted diseases from being promiscuous, but there are cures for chlamydia, gonorrhea, and syphilis, and although it's not curable, herpes can be managed. Promiscuous lifestyle choices are most certainly not limited to gay individuals, and anyone who thinks it is needs to snap out of it! There are some gay people who might dress and act in an embarrassing way, but it doesn't represent what the majority of gay people truly are like. There are plenty of straight people who dress outrageously and also act that way.

@rgp What the word QUEER actually means is someone or something that is strange, out of whack, off center, and abnormal. I don’t use that derogatory word, any more than I would ever use the word FAG to define someone who is homosexual.

There are those who may not like gay people, but they are deserving of respect simply by virtue of the fact that they are human beings trying to live their lives like anyone else. That includes calling them gay if that's what they prefer to be called. They've suffered a long history of discrimination and abuse for no reason except baseless human bigotry. Just because you're straight doesn't mean that you're a better person, it just means that you're different from them. I don't think that people should be judged by their sexual orientation but by the content of their character and how they treat others. That's what's most important.

And don't tell me that God doesn't approve. All God's children, regardless of their sexual orientation, are loved and accepted by him. The oh so righteous individuals who stand in moral judgement of others who are different need to give that some thought and follow his example. Amen to that!

Bella✌️
 
JonSR77 said:
I do think that you really might be repeating some myths about gay folks...that really are not who they are.

You wrote:

"I do have a problem with gay men who "overdo it" by trying to act and sound like women. It comes across as phony to me."

I am not sure that is a "thing." Or at least, any more than the wide range of affectations that straight people put on, when they are trying to "look cool" or "sound attractive."

You wrote:

"They also don't try to push their lifestyles on anyone. (Eg...no approaching obviously straight people with propositions)."


I also don't think that is a "thing." That sounds more like some negative spin that politicians created to demonize the gay community.

In the 70s, I used to go to Greenwich Village a lot, because I was a jazz fan. As a young guy, in my late teens, I was, in fact a pretty decent looking guy. And that is not, you know, just bragging. My aunt had been a model. A bunch of women in my family were involved in beauty pageants. Anyway, I absolutely did get a lot of looks from gay men, as I walked to the jazz clubs.

Not once did anyone approach me. Not once. No one was rude or inappropriate with me, ever.
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You quoted my: "I do have a problem with gay men who "overdo it" by trying to act and sound like women. It comes across as phony to me."
You seem to be forgetting that I was in the midst of plenty of gay people during the course of my career and witnessed that behavior with many of them... though not all. I also witnessed it when my husband and I were on vacation about 4 years ago and saw some of the gay men coming in and out of a gay disco that was happening in the casino hotel (after we left a show in the casino theater). Also, there have been a lot of gay men in my city who exhibited that kind of behavior. I didn't just form that opinion out of the blue Jon!

And you seemed to have missed this sentence: "So no stereotyping is meant by this reply." I simply gave some anecdotes about what I've witnessed personally in my lifetime. And like you I think the hedonistic lifestyle is asking for trouble whether it's straight or gay people.

"They also don't try to push their lifestyles on anyone. (Eg...no approaching obviously straight people with propositions)." And you said: "I also don't think that is a "thing." That sounds more like some negative spin that politicians created to demonize the gay community."
You don't think that's a thing? Well, the same year COVID hit (2020) my Honorary Daughter, mother of two of my grandchildren, goes to House Music parties, likes to dance, is friends with a gay couple and their friends are sometimes at these events. They told her that a couple of their friends wanted to "get with her". And those friends know damn well she's not interested in women. My husband who was an exceptionally handsome man had been propositioned a couple of times too. So just because you haven't encountered these things doesn't mean that it's not a "thing". And what the hell do politicians have to do with it?! I try to stay away from politics as much a possible because the political arena gets on my nerves. Anyway...What do you think is happening when gay men try to, what we call "groom" young boys? And before you take that question out of context...yes straight men also "groom" young girls before and while the molestation is happening. These things happen more than we care to think. Check the stats.
 
‘I keep seeing these posts pop up against the gay lifestyle.’...

I have to say, I’ve not seen any posts against the gay lifestyle popping up, and personally, have far more important issues on my mind, wouldn’t give it a seconds thought, as I don’t expect any body gives a thought to my heterosexual lifestyle, why would I ?

I have many gay friends, they just get on with their lives, part of our community
 
I have had many gay friends although not close up and personal. I have worked with many gays and have enjoyed thier sense of humor. Being gay does not really interest me but sometimes I think that they are funny. I worked at a company that encouraged gay people to apply to work there because we followed the rules of equal opertunity and equial diversity. It was a nice place to work at.
 
i was so glad to see that most of the people responding were not vehemently against the 'gay lifestyle'. i was heterosexual most of my life but have been celibate since end of my third marriage (closing in on a quarter century ago), and realized in last few years that without the hormonal flood of my reproductive years i am essentially asexual. Whereas during those years i was quite (surprise, i'm having trouble finding what i feel is ideal word to describe it) controlled ? ruled ? by the demands of my hormones.

My basic stance about people in general is this: a soul is a soul is a soul. Packaging and lifestyle choices are only relevant to my opinion of anyone on the basis of how treat others, not just me but people in general. If their choices are not causing direct harm. If relatives or friends are 'harmed' because their own biases and fears cause emotional turmoil that is on the person judging them not on the individual who is being true to themselves, to their soul.
 
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dseag2 said:
I keep seeing these posts pop up against the gay lifestyle. I would like to see some of you who are truly against it step up and say so and why. I have a thick skin, so feel free to share your views. Nothing hurts me these days. I am very happy with who I am.
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Since you asked -- I spent my working life in San Francisco, the Gay capitol of the universe, and do have an opinion on this. First, let me say that there are of course two kinds of gays, men and women. My remarks are relative to gay men. In my experience Gay women demonstrate their sexual preference in a far less flamboyant and discrete manner.

* Disease. Venereal disease is intense in the Gay male community. For instance ... "Most cases of syphilis in the United States are among gay, bisexual, and other men who have sex with men (MSM). Syphilis also has increased nearly every year among MSM, for about two decades"
https://www.cdc.gov/std/syphilis/stdfact-msm-syphilis.htm

* Gay male attraction to young boys. Gay men have wreaked a heavy toll on the Boy Scouts and in positions of trust in religious organizations. I worked with two gay men who met in a seminary, and at one time I lived not far from an office of a Gay male organization which, among other things, is dedicated to modifying age of consent laws.

* Gay male flamboyance and irritating portrayal of women. I don't want to name any events or organizations, but it can get pretty grotesque.
 
I don't think there's a "Gay Lifestyle". I believe human sexuality is on a continuum from homo- to hetero-, and with. most falling into some ratio of both. Apart from their sexual orientation, the needs, and wants of all humans are the same. I think what you refer to as a "Gay Lifestyle" is religious/social persecution, which resulted in being forced into "underground' activities. There is nothing in the so called " gay life style" that isn't mirrored in the "straight" lifestyle. Both can be just as seedy or as wholesome as the other. Plus "Gay Lifestyle" assumes that all "gays" do the same, act the same, and feel the same. They don't. Is there really a lockstep heterosexual lifestyle to which every heterosexual adheres to?
 
dseag2 said:
I keep seeing these posts pop up against the gay lifestyle. I would like to see some of you who are truly against it step up and say so and why. I have a thick skin, so feel free to share your views. Nothing hurts me these days. I am very happy with who I am.
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I didn't get very far in this thread before becoming aggravated multiple posts down

First, what do you mean by "lifestyle"?
Being who you are and happy with who you are is a good thing.

However, the terminology that's become popular in recent years does bug me. And it's certainly not limited to gay folks, I'm just as disgusted when women and other groups use gutter-level vocabulary. My viewpoint: if a person wants to be respected, it starts by respecting oneself, and that approach "ain't" it. Decent people don't use words like 'q---r,' etc. when referring to themselves or fellow human beings.
 
I have two cousins who are gay, one is a male on my Mother's side and the other is a female on my Father's side. Even though I was raised in a strict Catholic environment, neither cousin was ever shunned or made to feel different in any way by anyone in my family. I dated a guy in college who was still in the closet. I adored him - he was funny as hell and super smart. He came out to me because he was afraid to tell anyone else at the time. He's become a successful lawyer and has a terrific husband. We are still friends all these decades later.

I don't care about someone's sexual orientation, race, religion, socioeconomic status, gender, education level, career or anything else. What matters to me in very basic terms is how they treat others. Kindness and respect are what matters.

@dseag2 you seem like a truly nice guy and I love that you and your husband have such a nurturing, enduring relationship. Love is love.
 
oldaunt said:
And straight males go after young girls. Where is that different? There are bad people in all walks of life. And I have personally seen straight women acting like the most irritating males I have ever met.
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And pedophile priests and pedophiles in general have been known to assault both boys and girls. But i doubt every Boy Scout leader that is a pedophile was actually gay. Pedophiles don't always make the distinction between genders.

On top of that i have known men who were childhood sexual and other abuse victims by women perpetrators.
 
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JonSR77 said:
I posted this in the history thread, but thought I might share this here, as a reminder...

Gay Military Heroes. And that is just one example of the extraordinary contributions of the gay community to society.

You can go through all the professions and all the endeavors and really start to realize the amazing contribution of the gay community to society.

And that is in every sphere - inventors, scientists, musicians, actors, teachers, writers, and right down the line. Gay folks are just folks, like the rest of us.


Gay Military Heroes...


Old ideas about gay folks are just old ideas. They have no validity at all. Just like any racial prejudice is absurd. We are all people, period.

No, I'm not gay. I'm straight.
Very nice gay man on these boards. Showed a lot of kindness to this NJ loser.
This post is to honor him and all gay folks. We're all just people out here....
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Perhaps the greatest warrior in world history....Alexander the Great. He was gay.

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One of the greatest warriors of the 20th Century.... T. E. Lawrence (Lawrence of Arabia) - he was gay.

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Sacred Band of Thebes...some of the greatest warriors of the ancient world. They were gay.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sacred_Band_of_Thebes

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The four people who are probably most responsible for winning WWII --- Churchill, Roosevelt, Eisenhower and math genius Alan Turing, who broke the Nazi engima code. Turing was gay.

https://www.bbc.com/news/technology-18419691

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Twelve LGBTQ War Heroes and their stories

https://www.museumfacts.co.uk/12-lgbtq-war-heroes-and-their-stories/

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I am 61, missed Vietnam by about 5 years. No military service.
----But, I did consult to help put on a concert for Vets. That was a project of one of Mariah Carey's back-up singers. He was gay.
I have PTSD. Not military related.
----Protected two different vets in the throes of PTSD episodes..kept them safe and out of jail, risked my safety to do it.
----Made donations to veterans hospital.
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Missed Vietnam? You did not miss anything worth lamenting Jon, trust me.

AND, Gay females are jes' fine with me, fact of the matter is, I am a Male Lesbian and have been all my life. I am also quite able to hide my lesbianism from straight women who might object to that lifestyle choice and send me packing.

Gay males are hunky dory in my book too. I have always encouraged adult males to go thataway. More chicks for me, doncha know!!

U.V.
 
oldaunt said:
And straight males go after young girls. Where is that different? There are bad people in all walks of life. And I have personally seen straight women acting like the most irritating males I have ever met.
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Quite true, but by the same token I doubt you have heard about Gay women plaguing the Girl Scouts or acting as carriers of HIV, Syphilis, and now Monkeypox. Don't get me wrong, I have nothing against gay men as people. I could care less who they sleep with - none of my business. In fact, the best man I ever worked for was gay. Unfortunately he lived with one of his direct reports, a gay man, until the auditors found out, and no, I didn't turn him in. A long standing friend and co-worker was Gay. He died of Hepatitis, a common Gay disease. Another manager (who I didn't care for) spent every lunch hour in a gay bar. He was married with two children (boys). He left his family and moved in with a gay man. His boys were reportedly beyond upset. He eventually died of Aids.

Here's an interesting Wiki site for you to check out...
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/North_American_Man/Boy_Love_Association
 
I keep hearing the word "lifestyle", and I wonder if my grandparents or my parents ever considered their "lifestyle". I hear TV ads for products that will "fit my lifestyle" - diets, loans, credit cards, cars, you name it.

In fact, I have no idea what my own "lifestyle" might me, let alone what the "gay lifestyle" would entail.

Sorry.
 
It don't matter to me (like that Bread song).
On a couple of occasions when I was young, I've had gay guys try to pick up on me.
Big deal. I just smiled & said, "Wrong number; you're wasting your time. But, if you have a sister........"
People who have serious issues with gays are probably insecure about their own sexuality.
 
Trish said:
By gay lifestyle, do you mean being attracted to people of the same sex? If so, I hope they find happiness like everyone else and that life is no longer as difficult for them as it was for my school friend (Denis) back in the early 1970's, when he left because he felt he would never belong in this world.

I guess by "lifestyle" you might mean promiscuity? If so, I have always thought that was a bit of a myth as my gay friends seemed no different to my straight friends in that some were promiscuous and some were not.

@dseag2 I hope you and your partner have many more years to love and enjoy together x
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Sorry @Trish, I guess I should have worded the title differently. I was simply asking how members felt about gay people in general. There was no "promiscuity" implied because that is not my thing.

I mentioned in another thread that I actually think it is sad that the most outrageous gay people are the ones who sometimes make the media. We have at least 5 gay couples in our mostly straight neighborhood and we and our straight friends all socialize and take care of each other.
 
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