Avoiding the sorts of women your mother warned you about, (+ does this still occur?)

grahamg

grahamg

Old codger
Location
South of Manchester, UK
I'm not certain I followed my dear mothers advice so very well when it came to finding a partner, (what kind of guy only follows what their mothers told them anyway,..., though it can cost you, I'll be honest enough to admit that! :( ).

Anyway, putting my own foolishness to one side it crossed my mind whether or not mothers today give similar warning to their sons concerning who they might hook up with, (ditto dads advice to their daughters, or even their mothers advice to a daughter).

Does this still happen, in these "liberated, equality driven times" where all kinds of "lifestyle choices" are lauded?

I just have no idea at all, and whether it would make any difference if mothers did try to warn their sons, (I'm equally clueless about)?(!) :)

(can't see this thread stirring up much controversy can you! :) )
 

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Here is a website relevant to the thread topic, (relating to daughters, and what they should try to avoid in a partner):
https://thegritandgraceproject.org/relationships/5-guys-your-mother-warned-you-about

Quote: Men to avoid!
1). The Bar Star - All night at the bar, work in banking on big salaries, though non-commital, and on way to be an alcoholic.

2). Dating App Browser - Looking for hook ups, not much more, some may be okay, but too many the opposite to bother with any of them.

3). Red Flag Guy - Everything seems great, but something just not right about him, then you get to see a real temper!

4). The Magic Man - Flashes money, sweeps you off your feet, but all an illusion.

5). The Flake - Treats you like a million dollar, pulls chairs out etc., then disappears for a few days, - seeing someone else!

And a website here for sons avoiding "the wrong type of gal" (with a religious link)
https://igberetvnews.com/379206/the...warned-you-about-theyre-so-dangerous/#forward

Quote:
",...., we’ve all heard the phrase “I’m the one your momma warned you about”, and I think every one of us can think of a person who fits that description perfectly.
With the explosion of online dating options and relationship services, where can you go today for good relationship advice? Would it shock you if I said the Bible?

It may come as a surprise to many that the Good Book actually contains relationship insights and advice about the types of women you should avoid. Let’s look at four women who would qualify for your momma’s list.

1. Delilah

Samson’s love interest, who after repeated badgering and manipulation, finally discovered Samson’s secret. Once she knew it, Delilah cut off his hair, which led to Samson’s capture and eventual downfall.

2. Jezebel

Ahab’s wife could probably be described as a modern-day Maleficent meets Catwoman. Among many negative and dysfunctional behaviors, Jezebel killed and destroyed anyone who got in her way, including arranging Naboth’s death so she could confiscate his vineyard.

3. Lot’s wife

After she was commanded to flee Sodom and Gomorrah, God warned Lot’s wife to never look back nor stop during her flight. Unfortunately, she did not heed that advice. Lot’s wife stopped to look back and turned into a pillar of salt.

4. Potiphar’s wife

Even though she was married, Potiphar’s wife obsessed over a young servant named Joseph. Her infatuation passed the tipping point when she tried to force Joseph to sleep with her. Joseph narrowly escaped this encounter with only his underclothing intact.

So what can we learn from these four seemingly irrelevant and distant women for today’s relationship complexities? At the risk of being overly simplistic with these layered and complex stories, there are a few underlying principles in each one that reveal critically important aspects to healthy relationships
 
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I wonder whether a few examples of "those kinds of women, (the ones our mothers warned us about!), might just generate some interest in the thread and give it a boost(?). :).

Anyone got any such snaps they might wish to share, (obviously whilst observing the need for modesty to be preserved!)?
 

I have 2 sons.

I never warned them about anyone. I have never interfered in their love lives. I’m pretty sure their father didn’t either.

They both married women I would not have picked for them, though I did get along well with both wives. They have both divorced.
 
leigh91657 said:
I have 2 sons.

I never warned them about anyone. I have never interfered in their love lives. I’m pretty sure their father didn’t either.

They both married women I would not have picked for them, though I did get along well with both wives. They have both divorced.
Click to expand...
I was a single father of 2 sons and a daughter. I dated a lot of women and broke-up with all but one, so yeah, I didn't have to say much. They had living examples.
 
leigh91657 said:
I have 2 sons.
I never warned them about anyone. I have never interfered in their love lives. I’m pretty sure their father didn’t either.
They both married women I would not have picked for them, though I did get along well with both wives. They have both divorced.
Click to expand...
I think you were wise, and a marriage failing nowadays is almost par for the course isn't it!
 
Perhaps we should now seek out some photographs of the kinds of partners our mothers might have been content about our taking an interest in, (or who might have taken an interest in us)?
 
grahamg said:
Perhaps we should now seek out some photographs of the kinds of partners our mothers might have been content about our taking an interest in, (or who might have taken an interest in us)?
Click to expand...
Okay, here goes, one woman vetted by my own mother and passed as far as I can remember, (apologies for poor quality image) :Mrs GG.2f.jpg


The haggard and very slim fellow at her side is yours truly, (and btw there remains one wedding photo in my possession, and if I can find it I will post it for you, but unfortunately my wife had her eyes closed, hence it didn't make the photo album, and turned up when I cleared an old car of mine - the rest of them ending up at the tip as far as I'm aware!):
 
When you've found the right one here is some expert advice:
https://www.verywellmind.com/secrets-in-marriage-2303980

Quote:
"Secrets in marriage and the need for privacy".

"Honesty and trust are vital to the success of a marriage. It's a thin line between what secrets are acceptable and which ones will haunt you."


More here:
https://www.focusonthefamily.com/marriage/ten-secrets-to-a-successful-marriage/

Worth maybe quoting the whole website here:
Spouses in a successful marriage are savvy. They read books, attend seminars, browse Web articles and observe other successful marriages. However, successful couples will tell you that they also learn by experience — trial and error.

Here are 10 principles of success I have learned from working with and observing hundreds of couples:

  1. Happiness is not the most important thing. Everyone wants to be happy, but happiness will come and go. Successful couples learn to intentionally do things that will bring happiness back when life pulls it away.
  2. A couple in a successful marriage discovers the value in just showing up. When things get tough and couples don’t know what to do, they need to hang in there and be there for their spouse. Time has a way of helping couples work things out by providing opportunities to reduce stress and overcome challenges.
  3. If you do what you always do, you will get same result. Wise couples have learned that you have to approach problems differently to get different results. Often, minor changes in approach, attitude and actions make the biggest difference in marriage.
  4. Your attitude does matter. Changing behavior is important, but so is changing attitudes. Bad attitudes often drive bad feelings and actions.
  5. Change your mind, change your marriage. How couples think and what they believe about their spouse affects how they perceive the other. What they expect and how they treat their spouse matters greatly.
  6. The grass is greenest where you water it. Spouses in a successful marriage have learned to resist the grass is greener myth — i.e., someone else will make me happy. They have learned to put their energy into making themselves and their marriage better.
  7. You can change your marriage by changing yourself. Veteran couples have learned that trying to change their spouse is like trying to push a rope — almost impossible. Often, the only person we can change in our marriage is ourselves.
  8. Love is a verb, not just a feeling. Everyday life wears away the “feel good side of marriage.” Feelings, like happiness, will fluctuate. But, real love is based on a couple’s vows of commitment: “For better or for worse” — when it feels good and when it doesn’t.
  9. Marriage is often about fighting the battle between your ears. Spouses in a successful marriage have learned to resist holding grudges and bringing up the past. They remember that they married an imperfect person — and so did their spouse.
  10. A crisis doesn’t mean the marriage is over. Crises are like storms: loud, scary and dangerous. But to get through a storm you have to keep driving. A crisis can be a new beginning. It’s out of pain that great people and marriages are produced.
 
Actually, my mother hated most of the people that my sister and I dated. The trouble was that she made a control issue out of it, and in so doing actually drove us into the arms of the people that she disapproved of, where we found the acceptance and validation we weren’t getting at home!

Just be careful of what you say about Catwoman. She could own me, don’t ‘ya know?- - Meow! 😸

2FFB0BFC-8B04-485E-BD41-2B5A911E50B2.jpeg
 

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