Where does our preference for a significant other come from ?

Sassycakes said:
The day I met my husband he looked exactly like Buddy Holly. As soon as he talked to me I instantly fell in love. It was his charm not necessarily looks.
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i agree ....
I have met gentlemen and at first look, they are just OK...
As they speak .........and as the personality and humor shines through ... the looks........ although they did not actually change ..........they look different and suddenly they are more attractive to me....

i almost never comment in a discussion about what ever celebrity at the moment is the "hot" one....
because often i do not see the attraction....
it is almost impossible to gauge a personality from interviews or glimpses.
 

IKE said:
Might of had something to do with me going to Panama with the Army when I was barely over 18 coupled with that I spent 7+ yrs. in the orient but strictly from an eye appeal standpoint I've always been drawn to the slightly petite brown skin gals......like Asian, Mexican, south American, Polynesian etc.
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Same here, for pretty much the same reasons I believe. Although, I just never thought the bleach-blond bunnies of the 50s-60s-70s were at all attractive.
 
When I was younger, looks didn't matter so much as opposed to willingness to "you know what". As for looks, there is nothing in general that I can point to but I know it when I see it. An emotional connection though can build over time and then looks become less important.
 
Buckeye said:
When I was just a little guy, my daddy told me "Buckeye, they are all good lookin', but some of them just barely make it.."
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I heard some man say that when he would walk through the park with his grandfather, when ever a woman approached he would whisper, "You're beautiful." Finally the younger man asked why he said that to them all and grandpa said, "Because after they hear that, for a moment they are beautiful!"
 
I don't believe I have a preference for hair or looks, but just in thinking about the women I have been involved with, most have been strong women that were very goal oriented. I've enjoyed the others too, but my more intense relationships were with strong women. Now if someone asked if it was important to have a strong willed SO, I would probably say no. It's just the way it seems to turn out.
 
1st husband: short, terribly skinny, mean, ugly!
Second husband: tall, terribly handsome, had his own style, a man's man, quiet, soft demeanor.

My preference: tall, big, husky, mustache and trimmed beard, SANTA CLAUSE! with laughing eyes, tender heart, values, ethics.
Oh wait! spiritual, intelligent, into physics and metaphysics, humorous, charming with the poetic skills of Shakespeare, loves to be touched.
So, That would be my preference even though he doesn't exist. (just dreamin)

Do you think this preference may be from remembering past lives or something? I does puzzle me!
 
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senior chef said:
I have always wondered how it is that I came to fancy a "certain look" in girlfriends? And why I'm not the least interested in a different look that other men find very attractive ?
Take my friend for example. He found Salma Hayek extremely attractive, but she leaves me cold. On the other hand, the girls that I found attractive, left him cold.
Curious.
I sure would like to know how people come to fancy a certain type ?
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Seems you're mostly referring to physical appearance..
Long ago, I read somewhere that people tend to be drawn to individuals who resemble individuals that they had positive experiences (not romantic, just in general) when they were very young.

As for personality types, what I think is most accurate is explained in a book I have here that says people tend to most like and appreciate personality characteristics that they themselves lack but wish they had.

I tend to agree with both. Speaking only for myself, of course, others' viewpoints may differ.
 
When I was young, a fit guy in jeans and cowboy boots always caught my eye. I’m old enough that jeans weren’t so common then, mostly worn by the ‘bad boy’. I married one of those - once.
Later my attraction would be to clean and tidy and tall and slim. I’m still with one of these.
 
IKE said:
Might of had something to do with me going to Panama with the Army when I was barely over 18 coupled with that I spent 7+ yrs. in the orient but strictly from an eye appeal standpoint I've always been drawn to the slightly petite brown skin gals......like Asian, Mexican, south American, Polynesian etc.
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It just occurred to me that I prefer those women who are the exact opposite of my mother and sisters. They had blonde hair, blue eyes and were tall.
My "type" is petite, lightly golden skin, long black hair, flashing dark eyes, 5' to 5' 3" tall and quite petite (size 2).
 
I do have a type. If you lined up all my ex.s, they would all be similar in looks.
They'd have green eyes, brown hair, hard working, and most on the verge of being a bad boy, or at least edgy. And wear levis.

My current favorite guy...is very different. Except he has green eyes.

My mother used to work w/attorneys...and she so wished I would have dated someone in a 3 piece suit lol.
 
I think we are attracted to people we believe will fulfill our needs....psychological, spiritual, educational, security; various needs. And as we gain more life experience and our needs change, the people we're attracted to reflect those changes.

When we're very young, like 15 to 18, we're attracted to people who bear some resemblance to our mom or dad, either in mannerisms or physical appearance. I think that's because moms and/or dads are still fulfilling our needs at that point (generally speaking). You're even likely to be attracted to people who are similar to your abusive parents.
 
Been daydreaming about "my preference" in men. Forgot to mention he will be verbally eloquent, an articulate speaker and writer, a profound thinker ,stands behind his word, bold, confident, kindness, stands alone,
and,
he will come riding up on a tall golden horse!
hahaha!
 
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Gaer said:
Been daydreaming about "my preference" in men. Forgot to mention he will be verbally eloquent, an articulate speaker and writer, a profound thinker ,stands behind his word,
and,
he will come riding up on a tall golden horse!
hahaha!
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I'll bet he does. But you might want to lower your standards on the horse just a bit. A calico horse is just as acceptable, imo.
 
Still the best looking guy in the world
Robert Plant announces BBC 6 Music show And Season 5 of his Podcast • TotalRock
 
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