That was smart of you. I've made so many mistakes and I'm paying for it. I feel like I'm supposed to actually.
I have often felt this way, still struggle with the shame, fear, and guilt I have internalised over it. Thing is, we survivors have scrambled emotional circuits. Most of us wouldn’t recognise normal if it bit us. Lol. Therapy helped me realise that most of my mistakes were, and sometimes still are,
related to that scramble. Are there consequences? Absolutely, but this speaks to toxic programming, not poor character. I am still very much under construction, but I am considerably
healthier than the broken soul I once was. You and I did not choose to be broken, that was forced upon us by monsters. The blame is theirs, we do our best to limp through life, embracing what new normal we can muster. Please, please, do not internalise the gaslit notion that you are being
punished for the transgression of being damaged. No higher power would do this to you. Forgive yourself for being human, not perfect. I see such strength in you, such an enduring, stubborn defiance to live No Matter What! I am so proud of you! Please give yourself some props. Hugs.