Do Your Children Try to Run Your Life?

Jules

Jules

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Do your children or grandchildren try to run your life? They may come to visit and want to change things because they know everything.

My neighbour really appreciated his family coming to help when he had a fall. It was probably a couple of weeks, at most, and they shared the times. Now they want him to move into an apartment or care home. He’s mentally fit. As much as they were helpful, they treated him like he was incompetent. He’s pretty much back to normal and had to reorganize his house after they changed it the way they’d like it.

Another former neighbour gave up driving when his son told him that he needed to. It was a valid decision and they moved to an assisted care home prior to it becoming an absolute necessity.

My husband’s one son is opinionated and I’m not looking forward to some of his advice. He only visits a couple of days a year. My daughters are in another province so advice is limited so far.
 

I haven't had that happen to me, yet. I do know, for my mother who is in her upper 80s, that we do give her some advice, but she's a strong lady and if she doesn't feel comfortable with something (like my sister wants her to go stay with them), she will try it for a few days, then go back to her house and stay there until she feels the need to be with family.
 
No. Mine know better than to even try. They also know I will make the right decisions as needed. I also have a Advance Healthcare Directive on file so they know what I would want if left incapacitated.
 

Nope.My eldest daughter tried that once last year and found out how that worked for her. I did what I planned to do anyway (drove from Idaho to California to pick up my dog,by myself)-big deal. She thought a ten hour drive by myself was too dangerous. Please!Driving is what I do best. It WAS November and I checked that the weather wasn`t expected to do anything crazy in the Sierras during my trip or I wouldn`t have risked it.

I know for a fact that all four of my kids did far riskier things when they were teens....something that they now love to tell me about....
 
hollydolly said:
I it silenced her if only for a moment
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My son will go on and on about what I should do, should have done, etc.
After a short while I will say "I've heard enough, I am not discussing this, let's change the subject". He will continue, I put hand over my ears and sing La-La-La- My DIL will then step in and tell him, you had better stop now.

To hear him tell it, no one would ever believe that was able to conduct my life all these years (75) without listening to him.
 
WheatenLover said:
My kids try to get me to be a vegan, eat tofu, and to eat Indian food. I am not doing that. I've tried Indian food several times, and I don't like the spices. A couple of them tried to get me to move to CA. Not happening.

They don't give advice on much, thank heavens.
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You guys sure have some great Pierogi! I'll trade you....
 
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My neighbor had three adult boys who despised their step-father. As her health declined, they worked hard to get her to file for divorce because the house was her sole property which would cut him out financially. After she died the lawyer told the boys that since their step father had lived in the home for 30 years he would get a proportionate amount, regardless of her written will. One of the boys had already taken out a loan expecting a much bigger inheritance.

The moral of the story is don't let your kids control your life especially when money is involved.
 
Jules said:
Do your children or grandchildren try to run your life? They may come to visit and want to change things because they know everything.

My neighbour really appreciated his family coming to help when he had a fall. It was probably a couple of weeks, at most, and they shared the times. Now they want him to move into an apartment or care home. He’s mentally fit. As much as they were helpful, they treated him like he was incompetent. He’s pretty much back to normal and had to reorganize his house after they changed it the way they’d like it.

Another former neighbour gave up driving when his son told him that he needed to. It was a valid decision and they moved to an assisted care home prior to it becoming an absolute necessity.

My husband’s one son is opinionated and I’m not looking forward to some of his advice. He only visits a couple of days a year. My daughters are in another province so advice is limited so far.
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No they never come visit so we re lucky lol
 

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