What to do if a friend is taking advantage of me?

I know that I need to explain because posters say more info is needed..
But I can't say all of it because some things are private. I'll need to think about what I can say.
I will say first of all that the person is my ex husband.
And I can say that at the beginning when we were dating he had won big money on an instant lottery ticket.
Not one penny was spent on me. He bought a new car (the one he was driving was just fine) and house to live with his mother.

He never put any money away for our wedding. Myself and my family helped me to pay for it.
Don't get me wrong I'm not saying that he never paid for anything.
I need to skip a couple of years for privacy sake. I became very depressed and contemplated attempting
suicide on 3 occasions. My family yet again was there for me.

I need to stop for now because this is too much to relive.. Sorry about this.
 

I kind of understand that it's hard to answer a question without either all facts or at least more than what I said.
 

PreciousDove said:
I kind of understand that it's hard to answer a question without either all facts or at least more than what I said.
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I know, and I answered based on what information there was to hand...but it all boils down to whether you want to remain in their life after they hurt you. The choice is yours, not theirs.
 
PreciousDove said:
How much is too much when you believe that a friend is taking advantage of you? Are you the kind of person that would put a stop to it in a hurry or let it keep happening in fear of losing this friend?

How would you exactly handle this if it's a friendship of over 30 yrs?
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Sooner or later I'd put a stop to it, going no-contact if necessary. I don't owe them any explanation.

In one case, I didn't break it off completely. I maintained a civil distance and never trusted that person again.

I agree with the poster who suggested you shouldn't be friendly with an ex -- especially one that causes problems. And especially at our age. Having that kind of personal problem is just too draining.
 
PreciousDove said:
I know that I need to explain because posters say more info is needed..
But I can't say all of it because some things are private. I'll need to think about what I can say.
I will say first of all that the person is my ex husband.
And I can say that at the beginning when we were dating he had won big money on an instant lottery ticket.
Not one penny was spent on me. He bought a new car (the one he was driving was just fine) and house to live with his mother.

He never put any money away for our wedding. Myself and my family helped me to pay for it.
Don't get me wrong I'm not saying that he never paid for anything.
I need to skip a couple of years for privacy sake. I became very depressed and contemplated attempting
suicide on 3 occasions. My family yet again was there for me.

I need to stop for now because this is too much to relive.. Sorry about this.
Click to expand...
...but how is he taking advantage of you ?
 
PreciousDove said:
How much is too much when you believe that a friend is taking advantage of you? Are you the kind of person that would put a stop to it in a hurry or let it keep happening in fear of losing this friend?

How would you exactly handle this if it's a friendship of over 30 yrs?
Click to expand...
Re-read the second sentence - especially "In fear of losing this friend."
When someone has been taking advantage of you or using you, you have never been their friend; you have only been their victim - someone they can use. When they're no longer using you, you'll never see them again because using you was their only reason for having anything to do with you. And that has nothing to do with friendship.
 
Been There said:
Exactly what are we talking about? Is the situation a single time or a repeated habit? I have a friend that whenever we would meet for lunch, he continued to hand me the check and would say “here you go money man. You make a lot more than I do.” After about the fourth or fifth time of doing that, I said “how about we do separate checks from here on out?” Well, he got pissed and we haven’t had lunch since that day, but we still talk.
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Maybe I'm cheap, maybe I'm just intolerant but it would only take one “here you go money man" and we wouldn't be having lunch together anymore.

win231 said:
When they're no longer using you, you'll never see them again because using you was their only reason for having anything to do with you.
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This makes me think of how my ex-wife was.
 
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