Set in my ways?

NorthernLight

NorthernLight

Well-known Member
Location
Northern BC
As I have posted in other threads, I'm bored and lonely in my new town. I manage to "fill my days." But apart from a couple of online things that I enjoy, my life feels like a never-ending round of toothbrushing, housework, and other drudgery.

So yesterday my neighbor spontaneously asked me if I wanted to come along to an outdoor event. I should have jumped at the chance. It was a beautiful day, and my neighbor would have introduced me to lots of people.

But I told her I wasn't feeling up to it. Mostly I didn't want to rush around changing my clothes and making sure I had everything I needed (sunglasses, canes, etc.).

Meanwhile, I'm still hoping to do wild and crazy things like running away to South America by bus. Or boat, or hitchhiking. Anything.

Do you become resigned to doing less when you could be doing more? Is there a disconnect between what you want and what you do?
 

NorthernLight said:
As I have posted in other threads, I'm bored and lonely in my new town. I manage to "fill my days." But apart from a couple of online things that I enjoy, my life feels like a never-ending round of toothbrushing, housework, and other drudgery.

So yesterday my neighbor spontaneously asked me if I wanted to come along to an outdoor event. I should have jumped at the chance. It was a beautiful day, and my neighbor would have introduced me to lots of people.

But I told her I wasn't feeling up to it. Mostly I didn't want to rush around changing my clothes and making sure I had everything I needed (sunglasses, canes, etc.).

Meanwhile, I'm still hoping to do wild and crazy things like running away to South America by bus. Or boat, or hitchhiking. Anything.

Do you become resigned to doing less when you could be doing more? Is there a disconnect between what you want and what you do?
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i get where you are coming from, and you have my sympathy. I suspect there is a disconnect between what most of us want to do and what we actually end up doing. Sometimes that disconnect gets pretty wide and sometimes it is minor.
 
NorthernLight said:
As I have posted in other threads, I'm bored and lonely in my new town. I manage to "fill my days." But apart from a couple of online things that I enjoy, my life feels like a never-ending round of toothbrushing, housework, and other drudgery.

So yesterday my neighbor spontaneously asked me if I wanted to come along to an outdoor event. I should have jumped at the chance. It was a beautiful day, and my neighbor would have introduced me to lots of people.

But I told her I wasn't feeling up to it. Mostly I didn't want to rush around changing my clothes and making sure I had everything I needed (sunglasses, canes, etc.).

Meanwhile, I'm still hoping to do wild and crazy things like running away to South America by bus. Or boat, or hitchhiking. Anything.

Do you become resigned to doing less when you could be doing more? Is there a disconnect between what you want and what you do?
Click to expand...
I know exactly what you are talking about. I do it all the time. For instance, this week is a big art festival and I have gone to it every year. Yesterday and today I have not felt like going to it. Do you know how far away I have to go for it? Right across the street! Yesterday, instead of going I spent my time prepping food for the next few days. I could do that any time. Every week, my boyfriend is an official at go-kart and at rc races. How many times do you think I have gone? Zero! He'd love it if I went but I never feel like it.

To be honest though, whenever I go anywhere I just can't wait to get home. Reminds me of my Grandma and how she would get her house key out 20 miles from home.
 

C'mon ladies.. you;re going to be old quickly enough so that you have no choice to be stuck in the house, and unable to get out.

Kat I know it's not so easy for you, but you both need to just tell yourself you have to go out.. you really do have to make the effort.. don't let apathy grab hold of you, it'll never let you out of it;s grasp...
 
Yes, I can relate, I think the older we get, the smaller our world gets. I find that if I have a planned event that I have to get out of the house for, it absolutely takes me a day and half just to get ready (that's dressed and looking presentable) and out the door. Meeting with people, making small talk, remembering details so you won't look like a blithering fool is tiring.....so it's easier to stay home.
 
hollydolly said:
C'mon ladies.. you;re going to be old quickly enough so that you have no choice to be stuck in the house, and unable to get out.

Kat I know it's not so easy for you, but you both need to just tell yourself you have to go out.. you really do have to make the effort.. don't let apathy grab hold of you, it'll never let you out of it;s grasp...
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I so agree, HD.
Jackie23 said:
Yes, I can relate, I think the older we get, the smaller our world gets. I find that if I have a planned event that I have to get out of the house for, it absolutely takes me a day and half just to get ready (that's dressed and looking presentable) and out the door. Meeting with people, making small talk, remembering details so you won't look like a blithering fool is tiring.....so it's easier to stay home.
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Yes, I know. It happens to me sometimes too. We have to fight it.
 
Age does tend to make us a bystander in life so we need to work a little harder to participate. However, after living enough years, it is difficult to find something new to get excited about but still need human contact to keep things in perspective. It is too easy to sit in my jammies, sip my tea, and type on the keyboard instead of putting myself out there.
 
Happy Heart said:
Age does tend to make us a bystander in life so we need to work a little harder to participate. However, after living enough years, it is difficult to find something new to get excited about but still need human contact to keep things in perspective. It is too easy to sit in my jammies, sip my tea, and type on the keyboard instead of putting myself out there.
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yes..wayy too easy, and before you know it, it's a permanent lifestyle... It's important to make an effort even if it's on a couple of times a month.. once a week or more would be better.. but a couple of times a month will keep you included in the world...
 
hollydolly said:
C'mon ladies.. you;re going to be old quickly enough so that you have no choice to be stuck in the house, and unable to get out.

Kat I know it's not so easy for you, but you both need to just tell yourself you have to go out.. you really do have to make the effort.. don't let apathy grab hold of you, it'll never let you out of it;s grasp...
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I so agree with this. While I can still do most of what I want to do, there will come a day when I won't be able to. While I tend to be more of an introvert than extrovert, I do make an effort to do things whether it be lunch with friends (did that last week), traveling to spend time with family (doing that next week) or just taking a walk in my little neighborhood and stopping to say hello and talk to people I meet along the way.
 
I'm 76, live alone and I am right now packing all my "stuff" to move to a new apartment. I envy all you married people who have a help mate where ever you live. I'm with that Welsh poet, Dylan Thomas, and you might say I am "raging against the night" or whatever he was raging against.

I live in an apartment complex I have named, "The Land of the Living Dead." Mostly ladies doing nothing with their lives just waiting for death. Most are in their 80s and belong to the walker club.

Moi, I am moving to another apartment to get away from this terrible inertia. In my new apartment, they have "Happy Hour" twice/weekly, a coffee morning, an exercise room and a library. Nearby is a senior center with various activities.

Yes, you could say, I am "raging" against the night or death or whatever Dylan Thomas was raging against. Sure, it's easier to sit on your butt and do nothing but watch commercials on TV but is that a life worth living? I am making the effort to make everyday something special and something to look forward to. Goodby "Land of the Living Dead" and bonjour to "Happy Hour." Who knows? I just might find a kindred spirited nice lady who feels the same about life as I do? There is always hope, isn't there?
 
hollydolly said:
C'mon ladies.. you;re going to be old quickly enough so that you have no choice to be stuck in the house, and unable to get out.

Kat I know it's not so easy for you, but you both need to just tell yourself you have to go out.. you really do have to make the effort.. don't let apathy grab hold of you, it'll never let you out of it;s grasp...
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Well said. I agree completely.
 
Packerjohn said:
I'm 76, live alone and I am right now packing all my "stuff" to move to a new apartment. I envy all you married people who have a help mate where ever you live. I'm with that Welsh poet, Dylan Thomas, and you might say I am "raging against the night" or whatever he was raging against.

I live in an apartment complex I have named, "The Land of the Living Dead." Mostly ladies doing nothing with their lives just waiting for death. Most are in their 80s and belong to the walker club.

Moi, I am moving to another apartment to get away from this terrible inertia. In my new apartment, they have "Happy Hour" twice/weekly, a coffee morning, an exercise room and a library. Nearby is a senior center with various activities.

Yes, you could say, I am "raging" against the night or death or whatever Dylan Thomas was raging against. Sure, it's easier to sit on your butt and do nothing but watch commercials on TV but is that a life worth living? I am making the effort to make everyday something special and something to look forward to. Goodby "Land of the Living Dead" and bonjour to "Happy Hour." Who knows? I just might find a kindred spirited nice lady who feels the same about life as I do? There is always hope, isn't there?
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Good luck in your new place, John.
 
Packerjohn said:
I'm 76, live alone and I am right now packing all my "stuff" to move to a new apartment. I envy all you married people who have a help mate where ever you live. I'm with that Welsh poet, Dylan Thomas, and you might say I am "raging against the night" or whatever he was raging against.

I live in an apartment complex I have named, "The Land of the Living Dead." Mostly ladies doing nothing with their lives just waiting for death. Most are in their 80s and belong to the walker club.

Moi, I am moving to another apartment to get away from this terrible inertia. In my new apartment, they have "Happy Hour" twice/weekly, a coffee morning, an exercise room and a library. Nearby is a senior center with various activities.

Yes, you could say, I am "raging" against the night or death or whatever Dylan Thomas was raging against. Sure, it's easier to sit on your butt and do nothing but watch commercials on TV but is that a life worth living? I am making the effort to make everyday something special and something to look forward to. Goodby "Land of the Living Dead" and bonjour to "Happy Hour." Who knows? I just might find a kindred spirited nice lady who feels the same about life as I do? There is always hope, isn'tW there?
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Well said! Dylan Thomas was telling his father to rage against his impending death. Much different from our current Summer of Rage...LOL.
My problems is that most of my friends are now gone and it is hard to want to get involved because of the "pain of too much tenderness"...Gibran. Land of the Living Dead is why I don't get involved with our local senior center, just too much of that so we do limited volunteer work during the day only. Going out at night isn't safe anymore and bedtime comes earlier every year.
 
🤗 @NorthernLight

My own activites are very limited due to being full time carer for my elderly mother who only really leaves the house to attend appointments now; she's been retired for years and as the only living member of her family has no family to visit so prefers to watch her favourite tv shows or read or do puzzles, etc. She's had a couple of quite severe falls so I don't feel safe leaving her in the house alone and where we live is quite isolated anyway so I wouldn't leave her. I have a sister and a brother, both of whom live within easy travel distance but are so busy living their own lives neither has or makes time for their Mum - she used to feel that deeply but has 'let it go' now and accepts their decisions even if neither she nor I understand them...
 
Packerjohn said:
I'm 76, live alone and I am right now packing all my "stuff" to move to a new apartment. I envy all you married people who have a help mate where ever you live. I'm with that Welsh poet, Dylan Thomas, and you might say I am "raging against the night" or whatever he was raging against.

I live in an apartment complex I have named, "The Land of the Living Dead." Mostly ladies doing nothing with their lives just waiting for death. Most are in their 80s and belong to the walker club.

Moi, I am moving to another apartment to get away from this terrible inertia. In my new apartment, they have "Happy Hour" twice/weekly, a coffee morning, an exercise room and a library. Nearby is a senior center with various activities.

Yes, you could say, I am "raging" against the night or death or whatever Dylan Thomas was raging against. Sure, it's easier to sit on your butt and do nothing but watch commercials on TV but is that a life worth living? I am making the effort to make everyday something special and something to look forward to. Goodby "Land of the Living Dead" and bonjour to "Happy Hour." Who knows? I just might find a kindred spirited nice lady who feels the same about life as I do? There is always hope, isn't there?
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Good for you John, and a year since my husbands' been gone, I'm trying to get out as much as I can myself..not easy but I make myself do thing..I make myself go and continue having a life, I don't want my life to stop in my 60's... that would be madness. I may have another 30 years to live, couldn't imagine staying home every day for the next 30 years..

My ideal would be able to move house..this house holds too many memories, but that's not an option at the moment but hopefully sometime in the future
 
Happy Heart said:
Well said! Dylan Thomas was telling his father to rage against his impending death. Much different from our current Summer of Rage...LOL.
My problems is that most of my friends are now gone and it is hard to want to get involved because of the "pain of too much tenderness"...Gibran. Land of the Living Dead is why I don't get involved with our local senior center, just too much of that so we do limited volunteer work during the day only. Going out at night isn't safe anymore and bedtime comes earlier every year.
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see, that's great that you get out to do volunteer work, it means you're seeing people, mixing with them, and it gives you purpose in your life. (y)
 
hollydolly said:
Good for you John, and a year since my husbands' been gone, I'm trying to get out as much as I can myself..not easy but I make myself do thing..I make myself go and continue having a life, I don't want my life to stop in my 60's... that would be madness. I may have another 30 years to live, couldn't imagine staying home every day for the next 30 years..

My ideal would be able to move house..this house holds too many memories, but that's not an option at the moment but hopefully sometime in the future
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Take time to be good to yourself. I am sorry for the loss of your husband...I really can't imagine.
 
hollydolly said:
Good for you John, and a year since my husbands' been gone, I'm trying to get out as much as I can myself..not easy but I make myself do thing..I make myself go and continue having a life, I don't want my life to stop in my 60's... that would be madness. I may have another 30 years to live, couldn't imagine staying home every day for the next 30 years..

My ideal would be able to move house..this house holds too many memories, but that's not an option at the moment but hopefully sometime in the future
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You really do inspire me, @hollydolly !
 
Packerjohn said:
I'm 76, live alone and I am right now packing all my "stuff" to move to a new apartment. I envy all you married people who have a help mate where ever you live. I'm with that Welsh poet, Dylan Thomas, and you might say I am "raging against the night" or whatever he was raging against.

I live in an apartment complex I have named, "The Land of the Living Dead." Mostly ladies doing nothing with their lives just waiting for death. Most are in their 80s and belong to the walker club.

Moi, I am moving to another apartment to get away from this terrible inertia. In my new apartment, they have "Happy Hour" twice/weekly, a coffee morning, an exercise room and a library. Nearby is a senior center with various activities.

Yes, you could say, I am "raging" against the night or death or whatever Dylan Thomas was raging against. Sure, it's easier to sit on your butt and do nothing but watch commercials on TV but is that a life worth living? I am making the effort to make everyday something special and something to look forward to. Goodby "Land of the Living Dead" and bonjour to "Happy Hour." Who knows? I just might find a kindred spirited nice lady who feels the same about life as I do? There is always hope, isn't there?
Click to expand...
I think this is FANTASTIC @Packerjohn. What a way to take life by the horns. I hope you do find a kindred spirit at your new apartment complex. I bet you will. :)
 

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