Are others into your hobby or interests? Do you talk about it?

V

Victor

Senior Member
Location
midwest USA
I have two friends, both younger than me, who share none of my interests. We talk on the phone
and they act interested but are not, really. I'm not into their interests or married life
either. Cannot relate to it. Yet we remain friends for a long time.
I am alone, and I usually call them.. Question--do you talk about things that they may not
understand or care about? Would you rather they ask no questions about it, or patronize your
special interests? Because it seems insincere to act interested ( I'll check that out, yeah).
If we didn't, there would be little left for conversation. Current events and misc. trivia are safe
topics but this is not exciting to me.
 

I avoid mentioning my main interests, because I get tired of the same uninformed comments or lack of interest. Or uninformed "warnings" or suggestions.

You probably do have some common ground. If you think about it, you might realize what they are. Maybe less obvious things like personal values, humor, quirks of the English language ... even household tips or car repairs. Try veering off the usual topics and see what happens. Good luck!
 

Whether I talk to people in person about things I like to do or not depends on the person.

Yesterday, a neighbor was here about an hour and he knows nothing about computers or the internet. What did we talk about? Him, his family and the management of our building.

When my lady friends come we usually have much more to talk about. Our past lives, families, my pet rabbit, our apartments, recipes, places we have gone, things we did since we last saw each other, etc...... lots of things. I know not to bring up the subject of computer software or my operating system to any of them.

I can talk about anything to my bf as he uses a computer and he is interested in anything I have to say.......plus he actually remembers it in our next conversation! I always hate talking to people who never remember what you told them in a previous conversation.
 
katlupe said:
Whether I talk to people in person about things I like to do or not depends on the person.

Yesterday, a neighbor was here about an hour and he knows nothing about computers or the internet. What did we talk about? Him, his family and the management of our building.

When my lady friends come we usually have much more to talk about. Our past lives, families, my pet rabbit, our apartments, recipes, places we have gone, things we did since we last saw each other, etc...... lots of things. I know not to bring up the subject of computer software or my operating system to any of them.

I can talk about anything to my bf as he uses a computer and he is interested in anything I have to say.......plus he actually remembers it in our next conversation! I always hate talking to people who never remember what you told them in a previous conversation.
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yep ..that just shows they weren't listening to you in the first place. I hate that too... When I realise that someone hasn't listened to what I said last time we met, and I'm having to repeat myself I;ve been known to insert a big fat lie.. and say.. just as they're leaving '' I've booked that plane ticket I told you about after I won that money, I'm so excited ..''... and I shut the door, laughing at the expression on their face..:ROFLMAO:
 
Just about the only thing that interests me anymore is interesting information, which I usually prefer to acquire in the form of reading a book. And since I heard recently that they did a survey and asked adults from all walks of life in the U.S. what was the subject that to hear other people talk about was the most boring and almost everyone, including people who like to read themselves, said anything that someone has read or is reading. IIRC, when asked why what someone had read was so boring, the response was that they were only interested in what someone had done. So that explains a lot to me about myself.
 
One of my coworkers expressed concern about my eating a 250gr block of cream cheese and roast beef frequently at my meal break. "Don't you worry about cholesterol?" she asked. My immediate response was "No, I don't." For most folks our initial exchange would have been the end of it. But with this coworker it led to a continuing discussion between us about the 'perils of keto' (in her view) and the 'perils of not eating keto' (in my view). The discussion continues.. This happens only very rarely, however.
 
officerripley said:
Just about the only thing that interests me anymore is interesting information, which I usually prefer to acquire in the form of reading a book. And since I heard recently that they did a survey and asked adults from all walks of life in the U.S. what was the subject that to hear other people talk about was the most boring and almost everyone, including people who like to read themselves, said anything that someone has read or is reading. IIRC, when asked why what someone had read was so boring, the response was that they were only interested in what someone had done. So that explains a lot
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I want to know about this survey. Who did they ask and where? How many people? Intuitively it makes sense. I read a lot and most people are not interested mainly because of the subject or fiction too. Most people read no books anyway. Never did even if they like the subject
Your interests are not theirs

officerripley said:
to me about myself.
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Victor said:
I want to know about this survey. Who did they ask and where? How many people? Intuitively it makes sense. I read a lot and most people are not interested mainly because of the subject or fiction too. Most people read no books anyway. Never did even if they like the subject
Your interests are not theirs
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I don't remember who did the survey; it was a few years--maybe 5?--ago and it was here in the U.S. That's all I remember. And I realize that surveys that have been done don't necessarily reveal the truth; in fact, I remember an expert in the newspaper answering the question of how to make oneself more interesting and her answer was to read as many newspapers as you can afford to subscribe to. But then a member of my Huzz's friend group who was the most popular, well-liked, etc. used to say that not only did he not read newspapers at all, that he stayed as far away from "the news" as possible. And that guy's hobbies were playing golf and smoking cigarettes so that's mainly what he talked about. So there's probably more to the whole thing than reading newspapers or anything else. I know it's a mystery to me and I've given up on trying to figure it out.
 
NorthernLight said:
I avoid mentioning my main interests, because I get tired of the same uninformed comments or lack of interest. Or uninformed "warnings" or suggestions.
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So what are your "main interests"? You got me curious. Something a lot of people don't understand, that could be dangerous? Lion taming maybe?

Will try to avoid too many of those uninformed comments.
 
Alligatorob said:
So what are your "main interests"? You got me curious. Something a lot of people don't understand, that could be dangerous? Lion taming maybe?

Will try to avoid too many of those uninformed comments.
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Example: I have a rebounder (mini trampoline). I do stepping exercises on it, similar to the moves in an aerobics class. And some gentle bouncing -- but NO jumping. But if I mention the rebounder, people say, "I hope you have high ceilings in your place!" or "Do you ever hit your head on the ceiling?"

If I mention that it's improved my leg muscles and brought me back from being crippled, they say, "You should get a bicycle." No, I shouldn't get a bicycle.

The "dangerous" thing is my diet. I've heard all those objections before. I'm doing what's right for me.

I'm not saying they're all idiots. I just get bored hearing the same comments.
 
Outside my now retired hi tech electronic hardware career, have been a serious landscape and nature photographer. Rather futile discussing photography at length with any others unless they also have advanced photography interests. Other photographers tend to be very interested with what I have to say given my technical background and decades involved. For the last decade for the sake of exhibiting my large body of work, have been looking forward to the rise of large 8k pc monitor displays that with the recent 2022 hardware implementation developments of the DisplayPort 2.0 standard, will finally begin to see products making that a reality. When I publicly exhibit, will have much to talk to the public about and expect many will be asking questions.
 
No. I just interact about them online. I post my projects on Ravelry (though I think the people running that site are weird), the knit and crochet site. They also have many free patterns.

I've posted on some Reddit craft boards. I don't tend too get many responses. Which I guess is a testament to my talent. :D

The site Craftster is up still I believe but closed. I'll always be grateful to that site. I made a bag that was hard for me to do, more complex than a regular tote bag. I posted it and got some nice comments. Those internet strangers will never realize how they helped me. I now accept what I can make and don't hate everything I make like I used to.
 
I have been "into stock car racing " for over 40 years. Crew member, driver, car owner, race club executive, track announcer, and website owner. My good friend Gary Elliott and I met in 1973 at a gas station while he was fueling up his truck, which had a VW stock car on a tow bar. I asked him if I could come with him to the track ? He said sure, jump in. That began a 50 year friendship, that continues to this day. In 2023 Gary Elliott will celebrate his 50th year of oval track racing here in Canada, and his 50th year of being sponsored by Quaker State Motor Oil. Yep 50 seasons of racing all over the eastern part of Canada, and the north eastern United States. He is still racing late model stock cars down east in Nova Scotia, with 23 races per year, from May to October. He competes with 22 year old kids, and wins. In his career he has raced at 45 different tracks, and he can describe every one of them. He has a fantastic memory, and at 76 years old he still does most of the work on his race car himself. As I like to say...He has forgotten more about setting up a oval track car than most other drivers ever knew His son David Elliott raced for 30 years and was a 12 time season championship driver in his own right. His daughter Shirley also raced for about 12 years, winning her share of feature races herself. Now his Grandson and Grand daughter are racing here in Ontario and both are rising stars.

Link to Garry Elliott Motorsports. Gary Elliott Motorsports Gary is known as The Iron Man for his longevity and determination on the track.

JimB.
 
I have different friends that I talk to about different topics - for example, one old friend from elem. school and I re-connected on the Classmates website. She lives in AZ and we've actually seen each other once since then. We are the same age and our husbands are slightly younger. We talk about money. We have helped each other get to retirement, navigate Medicare and Soc. Sec. and we walked each other through the deaths of our father's and the Trusts they left behind. We share articles and tidbits on how to move forward. Other than that, we don't have much else in common.

Another friend and I share a love of history. She has Native Amer. roots and I have Norse roots. We've gone to several Ancient America conferences together and talk often about the latest "discoveries." I also am a member of a couple of local fiber arts groups. The gals in my Knitting Group do a lot of reading so we pass books around and NEVER talk politics. One friend was a chef and we talk recipes and cooking. A former neighbor and I still play Fantasy Football each year ....the list goes on.
 
NorthernLight said:
rebounder
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Never heard it called that, but the name makes sense.

I am in favor of any safe exercise. I think the best exercise is one you can stick to doing, different for different people. I have a bicycle, but seem to rarely use it. Now I am going to the gym, but will try to get back to walking and hiking after my knee surgery. Same reasons as you, it keeps me moving and a bit healthier, or so I'd like to think.
 
I am a techie type. people I know could care less about their electronics as long as it works. it breaks they bring their crap to me to fix. same statement could be said for automobiles, long as you can get it to start that is all anyone needs to know. it stops you get a mechanic to fix it..
 
This is a fascinating subject. I remember when I had a friend to sketch with and another who enjoyed cooking. Someone to go with to Friday night jazz. Now due to my physical limitations and the passing of so many, I do a lot of solitary things. It is nice to be able to research just about anything and share with others online.
 
If you don't feel your friends are sincerely interested in at least some of what you're into and you aren't interested in at least some of what they do, how do you remain friends? What does keep you bonded? Fortunately, my friends are either also into music, T.V. or other interests or they are family/extended family members who enjoy talking about family stuff, travel (and music). My honorary son who is sometimes more like me than my son (they are BFFs), loves talking financial stuff like I do.
 
And some friends listen but would rather not and they change the subject away from me or say they have to go now. I'm tired of it. I do not care to speak to a "friend" who has no interest in what interests me. It is patronizing. They make obvious very cliche comments. One friend loves conversation but we have nothing in common and another likes listening
But nobody likes to hear me complaining I think. Worse that that is when you oppose their interests and ideas. Misanthrope unite
 
I know I’ve posted this quote from Carl Jung somewhere else on a forum thread but reading these responses brought it to mind again.

’Loneliness does not come from having no people about, but from being unable to communicate the things that seem important to oneself’.

I don’t like having to interact with large groups and am a total flop at making social chitchat.
 

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