Name the most important thing you wished your child would learn, (and/or tried to instill)

Della said:
Kindness.
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Not put yourself first all the time then!

Sorry, being silly there, of course we're all going to wish our children to be kind, even in a dog eat dog world, (though "not easy meat" when folks want to take advantage of them, to mix my metaphors! :) ).
 

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Capt Lightning said:
Be yourself - not what other people want you to be.
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I mentioned "duplicity" as a life skill my child learned at an early age, (not letting her mum and gran see her showing me affection aged three, after I'd not seen her for about six months due to ilness).

To succeed in life takes all kinds of skills and this is one of them, (ask anyone who has been asked to venture an opinion as to whether their significant others bum looks big in tight fitting clothing! :) ).
 

Dr Spock on the subject, quote:
"Babies need love

It seems almost ludicrous today that anyone could ever think otherwise. But this idea was by no means taken for granted just 100 years ago. Early 20th-century child-rearing guides warned parents not to kiss their babies or cradle them too much, lest the children become spoiled.

Spock taught his readers that babies were little people with their own emotional needs, and that they should be cherished, not encouraged to meet the schedules and rules of adult life as quickly as possible.

“Children are driven from within themselves to grow, explore, experience, learn, and build relationships with other people,” the latest edition of Baby and Child Care now reads. “So while you are trusting yourself, remember also to trust your child.”
 
I have not been well, and am making an appointment to see doctor. I want to share with you part of a text just sent by my son: "Oh no, do you need me today or tomorrow?.........If you need me I'll be there!"

This is an important thing I wished my child would learn and/or tried to instill.........love and commitment. I'm blessed.
 
Here is a picture covering some of what I believe is a very important aspect of child rearing, or all important aspect, "communication", or put another way "constant interaction of one form or another", here I'm being shown a colourful drawing by my then five year old daughter:

laura and dryer 20002.jpg
 
oldpop said:
Always think three steps ahead of yourself.
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I'd think I was doing well if I thought I was able to think one step ahead now! :)

Moving back to the communication aspect mentioned in my last post, or "constant interaction of one form or another", here is a website where they try to help parents improve their communication levels with their children, (my only issue being in my view this isn't a science is it, and the words of an old Irish guy come to mind when my daughter was about two years of age, "dont worry about being a dad it just comes naturally", and with those few words he gave me more confidence than I can tell you, or he will ever know!):

https://childdevelopmentinfo.com/how-to-be-a-parent/communication/
 
grahamg said:
I mentioned "duplicity" as a life skill my child learned at an early age, (not letting her mum and gran see her showing me affection aged three, after I'd not seen her for about six months due to ilness).
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In her child's mind, she viewed your absence as abandonment, not due to any fault of yours, but she was just too young to understand.
 
Beezer said:
I always told my two girls..., You might have to kiss a few frogs before you find your Prince.
And...
You're not going to care what anybody thinks of you by the time you're 30, so why not start now?
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Its a very strong person who can carry on in the same manner regardless of what anybody thinks of them, (it puts me in mind of the Rudyard Kipling poem "IF",......., quote: "If you can keep your head when all about you. Are losing theirs and blaming it on you; If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,.....etc.").

They say a team of tough tug of war men cannot pull on the rope as well simply if they have a large diagram of a frowning face next to them, as opposed to a team with a diagram of a smiling face, so deeply engrained in our collective psyche is his kind of influence embedded.

 
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Pepper said:
In her child's mind, she viewed your absence as abandonment, not due to any fault of yours, but she was just too young to understand.
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In my view she was that astute, (besides being v cute!), even from a very early age, she knew a great deal, if not all aspects of what was going on around her, even when attempts were made to keep her in the dark about something.
 
You are giving a toddler far too much credit graham. Six months is an eternity for a little one, no matter how smart.
 
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Some more science:
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5330336/

Quote:

The most valuable thing is love​

"This highlights the importance of supporting parents and babies in their crucial early years. However, parents can worry about things that just aren’t important to their children’s brain development and well-being such as giving them their own room, buying them toys and taking them on expensive holidays. Instead, the most valuable gift that a child can receive is free; it’s simply a parent’s love, time and support. This is no empty sentiment; science is now showing why baby’s brains need love more than anything else.

The new science of epigenetics is discovering more and more how our genes and our brains are affected by the lives we lead."
 
Georgiagranny said:
How to manage money. That's for both kids.
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"Be Mr. Nobody with a dollar in your pocket" was one of my fathers sayings applicable to the way you should try to live and handle your money! :)

I'd say too, linking in with the science website and extract posted above concerning the need for children to be shown "love",(how welcome btw to see any kind of expert connected with children use the word love in a report!), that the balancing of the other parents influence upon the child is a very important aspect, even where the resident parent thoroughly well and truly loves the child. Everyone is guilty of excesses at times, be it in terms of "control", "pushing the child to succeed too hard", or whatever. Here another loving parent can be someone to turn to, should they need it, even if the outcome is to try to tell the child to learn to tolerate their mother's excesses better, or encourage them to do so in the process of unburdening themselves.
 
One of the things my father used to say, and I suppose instill in his children was "Never worry", (the full version of the saying both he and my mother used is, "Never worry, you die if you worry, you die if you don't, so why worry"!).

Now of course it was very well meant, though as an "expert worrier" I can tell you it didn't work, and whenever it was said to me when I was in an anxious state, all it did was reinforce the guilt you felt about worrying too much by drawing attention to it, (if you see what I mean?).

It wasn't my fathers No. 1. saying to his children, (that would be "Its every man for himself in this world"), but it was said often enough to be worth posting here I think. :)
 
Trish said:
My auntie's saying was "Never trouble trouble until trouble troubles you". Good advice I think :)
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At my old place of work the boss came up with the slogan, "Never say no", in order to try to encourage his staff to always try to meet the customers requirements, (and a very witty work colleague of mine came up with the riposte, "No, say never"!).

I notice your avatar has the following words attached, "Never say never",... now thats a bit more difficult to mess with I admit, but you'd struggle to go through life without saying "Never again" just once dont you think? (or am I taking this too seriously!) :).
 
grahamg said:
At my old place of work the boss came up with the slogan, "Never say no", in order to try to encourage his staff to always try to meet the customers requirements, (and a very witty work colleague of mine came up with the riposte, "No, say never"!).

I notice your avatar has the following words attached, "Never say never",... now thats a bit more difficult to mess with I admit, but you'd struggle to go through life without saying "Never again" just once dont you think? (or am I taking this too seriously!) :).
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I dunno tbh, but so many things I said I would never do in the past and, guess what, I do them anyways :)
 
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