What marriage advise would you give your younger self?

Take a very hard look at how the other person is living their life and make sure your lifestyles mesh. If you marry someone based on their promises you will end up disappointed. Love in and of itself isn't enough to create a happy life.
 

No rush. Take time to get to know lots of different types of women, and spend a lot of time with the ones who seem compatible. Discuss children, work, and priorities in detail. Neither of you will actually know the other like a book, or whatever, and life can throw some real severe curve-balls at you at any time...you won't always be able to predict how she'll cope, and vice-versa, so you have to be open with each other about this.

That's all based on my mistakes.
 
Murrmurr said:
No rush. Take time to get to know lots of different types of women, and spend a lot of time with the ones who seem compatible. Discuss children, work, and priorities in detail. Neither of you will actually know the other like a book, or whatever, and life can throw some real severe curve-balls at you at any time...you won't always be able to predict how she'll cope, and vice-versa, so you have to be open with each other about this.
That's all based on my mistakes.
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Haven't we attempted to have a similar discussion on another thread recently, (or was it with Nathan?).

Whatever is the case, I cant fault what you've said above! :)
 
Jules said:
If he ever hits you, leave. No apology is acceptable.
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And what if the situation is reversed and SHE hits me ???? That doesn't seem to get much coverage in the press, does it ? My position is.............I give the woman the opportunity to launch two blows against me, then the fight is on. And I don't fight fair, either. JimB.
 
Jules said:
Know you will both change with time. Be prepared for that.
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That is so true! Often, if it's a good marriage, the couple will yield to each other, changing to accommodate the other, but if it's not a good marriage, then the couple drifts apart. Marriage takes work. I think love is what makes it work.
 
palides2021 said:
That is so true! Often, if it's a good marriage, the couple will yield to each other, changing to accommodate the other, but if it's not a good marriage, then the couple drifts apart. Marriage takes work. I think love is what makes it work.
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Good to have mentioned the word "love", (undefinable as it might be).

If its not there at all you'd have to think "What is the point" at all!

Whether we're prone to kidding ourselves sometimes or not, you'd like to think you knew you loved them as much as you could, even if it was ridiculous because it wasn't reciprocated, (they must have convinced us they felt something, though certainly not as much as it should have been in the end).
 
jimintoronto said:
And what if the situation is reversed and SHE hits me ???? That doesn't seem to get much coverage in the press, does it ? My position is.............I give the woman the opportunity to launch two blows against me, then the fight is on. And I don't fight fair, either. JimB.
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So your opinion is that hitting your partner is fine? Great marriage. Too bad neither one learned to walk away from an equally combative relationship.

I knew a couple like this. The semi-playful hitting escalated until he left her for dead one day. He ended up in prison.
 

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