Invitation to dinner/BBQ with stipulation that everyone contribute with money for food.

I agree QS , very sad for the father not to be able to afford to go to his own sons' wedding. ..and to have the room taken from you that you'd already booked Kadee, how awful.

I do hope father and son still have a good relationship despite it all.
 

hollydolly said:
I agree QS , very sad for the father not to be able to afford to go to his own sons' wedding. ..and to have the room taken from you that you'd already booked Kadee, how awful.

I do hope father and son still have a good relationship despite it all.
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Yeah... all the ugliness between Ex's and new spouses only hurts the kids.
 
ClassicRockr said:
It wouldn't bother people who have money to "play with". They wouldn't call it "rude" or anything like that. If I had enough "zero's", with a big number in front of them, in my banking account, it wouldn't bother me.
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You are thinking of the money as the issue, which means, simply put, you don't get it!
 
i was married twice. Neither time a ceremony. No expenses not borne by me. No fuss, no muss. The first lasted 14 years and ended by my decision. The second is 42 years old at this point.
 
Some rich people seem to like to order people around when it comes to weddings. A friend's niece insisted that all the wedding guests wear formal black (black suits as well as long black gowns) to the wedding, which I thought was madness, but there you go.
 
It's our way (in my family and friends) to host dinners and put on a big spread with the best we can offer, and at our own cost of course. Guests are always treated with honor.
 
Cookie said:
It's our way (in my family and friends) to host dinners and put on a big spread with the best we can offer, and at our own cost of course. Guests are always treated with honor.
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Same here, if we couldn't afford it we would not do it.It really is incredible rude to ask for a thing, either money or goods.
 
Cookie said:
Some rich people seem to like to order people around when it comes to weddings. A friend's niece insisted that all the wedding guests wear formal black (black suits as well as long black gowns) to the wedding, which I thought was madness, but there you go.
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Oh, don't get me started on weddings......the last wedding we attended, the invitation stated "formal attire required". Required, mind you, not requested. The Other Half was not happy about renting a tux and I don't own any long gowns any more. Finally, I found out that the bride meant suits and nice dresses, apparently in an attempt to make sure that some of her family didn't wear their Sunday overalls to the ceremony. There was a "mixed bag" at the wedding.....gold lame hootchie dresses worn with cowboy boots, jeans with a dress shirt and tie, tuxedos and formal gowns. We were in the "middle" with him wearing a suit and me a "dressy" dress (tea length).
 
Another wedding gripe: when the bride and groom decide to have a "destination wedding" at some expensive resort on a tropical Caribbean island and then get all pushed out of shape when family members can't come. I was told by a relative once that obviously I didn't love her much because I wouldn't come to her wedding at a resort where the cheapest room was $380 a night and the airfare was astronomical. Apparently there were enough people who "didn't love her enough", so they ended up having ANOTHER wedding when they got back.
 
Then there's the expensive wedding gifts as well or in some cultures cash. One bride I knew from work had a big wedding with all the gifts and money, then very shortly afterwards the couple divorced. How's that for easy money.
 
"Cover the plate" is the big deal in a lot of places. That means you are supposed to give a wedding gift (preferably cash) that "covers" your share of the reception. So if the bride and groom are having a reception that's $150 a plate, the "proper" gift would be $150 per person. Outside of my daughter's wedding (which I had barely paid off before they got divorced), I don't think I've ever given anyone a $150 wedding gift, even if they had a sooper-dooper reception. I think everyone should have the wedding/reception they want, but shouldn't expect the guests to pay for it. I'm not even sure how you'd know how much to give......call up the bride and ask "oh, by the way, how much are you paying for your reception before I go shopping?"
 
hollydolly said:
I agree QS , very sad for the father not to be able to afford to go to his own sons' wedding. ..and to have the room taken from you that you'd already booked Kadee, how awful.

I do hope father and son still have a good relationship despite it all.
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This couple Hubby's son an Her, were in their late 30 s when they got married. Both had good jobs , (we ( are) on a pension due to hubby finishing work at 45 due to having his back fused) I had been with Hubby For 24 years at the time and never had a cross word with his son .....Her parents are real trouble makers like throwing their weight around,where we are more quiet
No sadly have never spoken since then 4 years ago , the son wanted contact but she forbid him to contact his father.
We would have been happy to match what the of son mother contributed. ..
 
Kadee46 said:
This couple Hubby's son an Her, were in their late 30 s when they got married. Both had good jobs , (we ( are) on a pension due to hubby finishing work at 45 due to having his back fused) I had been with Hubby For 24 years at the time and never had a cross word with his son .....Her parents are real trouble makers like throwing their weight around,where we are more quiet
No sadly have never spoken since then 4 years ago , the son wanted contact but she forbid him to contact his father.
We would have been happy to match what the of son mother contributed. ..
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I'm sorry to hear that kadee, what kind of mother is she that a grown man is allowing her to dictate his relationship with his father ...it must be heartbreaking for you both but especially Dad.
 
QuickSilver said:
Yeah... all the ugliness between Ex's and new spouses only hurts the kids.
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It was Her parents that made all the rules not hubby's ex, (the sons mother) I have never really had much to do with the ex I kept my nose out of hubby's and her business regarding the kids, That included money we have always had and will always continue having our combined money for houses keeping and our own savings ( I worked until I was 65 hubby finished work at 45 ) so if he wanted to give money to the kids he had money But I won't go there..... I still have a little savings and he has none ....lets just say he had a motor bike he spent lots of money on .. So if the money had to be paid at the wedding it would have had to come out of MY SAVINGS ..
 
hollydolly said:
I'm sorry to hear that kadee, what kind of mother is she that a grown man is allowing her to dictate his relationship with his father ...it must be heartbreaking for you both but especially Dad.
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Thanks Holly we sensed she was trouble,from the first meeting she is older than son,
She told us to our face that the ring R bought me for our 25 th wedding some months before, should have been kept for her honeymoon money
 
Kadee46 said:
Thanks Holly we sensed she was trouble,from the first meeting she is older than son,
She told us to our face that the ring R bought me for our 25 th wedding some months before, should have been kept for her honeymoon money
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It's the WIFE not his mother forbidding him from contacting his father
 

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