Is acknowledging gifts an "old-fashioned, outdated" thing?

JaniceM

JaniceM

Well-known Member
Location
still lost between two shores..
This is really bothering me. :(
When I give/send gifts to family members and can't hand them to the people in person (distance, etc.), it's rare anyone says thanks and often don't even let me know if the gifts were received.
This covers both children and adults.

I recall a few years ago this topic was here on the forum, but I can't seem to find it.

Maybe the days are gone when recipients wrote actual Thank You notes, but I still believe a simple Thanks or at least acknowledging they were received is valid.
I end up feeling like people think the gifts were worthless because I couldn't afford anything expensive.

Where are you all "at" on this subject?
 

No, it is not outdated, courtesy seems to be though. I don't do facebook and have been told by some that's where some young people acknowledge such things. Price of postage is high, but a quick phone call isn't. I sometimes wonder if the person got it or not. I think I've outlived my times.
 

JaniceM said:
This is really bothering me. :(
When I give/send gifts to family members and can't hand them to the people in person (distance, etc.), it's rare anyone says thanks and often don't even let me know if the gifts were received.
This covers both children and adults.

I recall a few years ago this topic was here on the forum, but I can't seem to find it.

Maybe the days are gone when recipients wrote actual Thank You notes, but I still believe a simple Thanks or at least acknowledging they were received is valid.
I end up feeling like people think the gifts were worthless because I couldn't afford anything expensive.

Where are you all "at" on this subject?
Click to expand...
Yes, It bothers me too.....I quit giving birthday gifts for this very reason, I acknowledge the birthday on facebook and that is it.
I'm thinking of scaling down Christmas money too.
 
Reminded me of this story:

Two old ladies were talking about their grandchildren. Dolly said, "Each year I send each of my grandchildren a card with a generous cheque inside. I never hear from them... never receive a thank you message."

Ruby replies, "I too send my grandchildren a very generous cheque. I hear from them within a week, in fact they each pay me a personal visit."

"Wow! How come?" remarked Dolly.

"Very simple solution... I don't sign the cheque."
 
If someone is kind enough to give you a gift, no matter how small or inexpensive, even in this day and age, it's not only polite but also necessary to properly acknowledge it. There's no excuse for not thanking someone for a gift. It's important to show appreciation. Not to do so is just plain rude. No gift should be taken for granted.

When I was young, it was de rigueur to send a handwritten thank-you note. Today, that doesn't often happen. However, a phone call, text, or email will suffice. Whichever form it takes, acknowledging the gift is what's most important.

If I sent gifts and there was no form of "thank you," I would be inclined to stop sending them, plain and simple.
 
I've noticed this for the last ten years of so. You go to all the trouble of choosing the right gift, wrapping it beautifully, the perfect card; it's sent and no acknowledgement.
This has been on my mind as well. What if it's a close relative? Someone you're "expected" to send a gift to on Birthdays and Christmas?
Is it rude of me to stop sending gifts to them? SERIOUSLY, I'd like to know!
or.
Is it enough to send a gift because you want to, and let it go? Accept it if they thank you or don't thank you? Give it no concern?
I agree with @Bella, but we can't dictate how the recipient will respond. Gotta say though, I feel kinda hurt when they don't at least
say they received the gift.
 
hollydolly said:
if I don't get one, then that's the last gift.
Click to expand...
I have done that twice, and I don't feel bad about it at all.
BC Flash said:
As a child, we were NOT allowed to play or wear the gift until the "thank you's" are written. I set the same rules with my 3 children.
Click to expand...
The same with my 3, however, today I believe that a text or phone call is sufficient. Things have relaxed a lot and it's fine with me.

My granddaughters always call to thank me for a gift. When I send surprise gifts to my granddaughter at her dorm (usually snacks to share) I always get a text and a picture of her enjoying them. That's really nice.
 
Gaer said:
I've noticed this for the last ten years of so. You go to all the trouble of choosing the right gift, wrapping it beautifully, the perfect card; it's sent and no acknowledgement.
This has been on my mind as well. What if it's a close relative? Someone you're "expected" to send a gift to on Birthdays and Christmas?
Is it rude of me to stop sending gifts to them? SERIOUSLY, I'd like to know!
or.
Is it enough to send a gift because you want to, and let it go? Accept it if they thank you or don't thank you? Give it no concern?
I agree with @Bella, but we can't dictate how the recipient will respond. Gotta say though, I feel kinda hurt when they don't at least
say they received the gift.
Click to expand...

Only you can decide if you're okay with not being thanked. If you are "expected" to send a gift, is it too much to "expect" to be thanked for it? 🤔
 
With Christmas coming this has been on my mind too. I have grandchildren who do not acknowledge gifts and others who always acknowledge the gift, send one to me, come see me, etc. I have always tried to treat them all the same but I think I am at the end of the line with that. I am tired of sending gifts that are not acknowledged.
 
DebraMae said:
With Christmas coming this has been on my mind too. I have grandchildren who do not acknowledge gifts and others who always acknowledge the gift, send one to me, come see me, etc. I have always tried to treat them all the same but I think I am at the end of the line with that. I am tired of sending gifts that are not acknowledged.
Click to expand...
Ah, This is what I want to know! Are you going to stop sending gifts to your grandchildren that DON'T acknowledge that you send a gift?
That's a gutsy thing to do. That takes gumption!
 
Murrmurr said:
Call me old-fashioned, but I give gifts for the sake of giving. I only send gifts to family members who live far away, and they don't always contact me after they get them, but I won't stop sending them.
Click to expand...
But what about situations I usually have- not knowing if the gifts were received because the recipients don't say so?
(most of my "gifting" is done from a distance).
 
Gaer said:
I've noticed this for the last ten years of so. You go to all the trouble of choosing the right gift, wrapping it beautifully, the perfect card; it's sent and no acknowledgement.
This has been on my mind as well. What if it's a close relative? Someone you're "expected" to send a gift to on Birthdays and Christmas?
Is it rude of me to stop sending gifts to them? SERIOUSLY, I'd like to know!
or.
Is it enough to send a gift because you want to, and let it go? Accept it if they thank you or don't thank you? Give it no concern?
I agree with @Bella, but we can't dictate how the recipient will respond. Gotta say though, I feel kinda hurt when they don't at least
say they received the gift.
Click to expand...
I too am on the fence about discontinuing presents. The cash goes into their accounts automatically when I send it. A text message would be an adequate reply, imo. I’ve seriously considered cutting anyone over 25 off. The problem is that it would cause lots of hard feelings. We all live far apart and they don’t really know me. The cash isn’t a hardship for me so I’ll probably keep doing it.
 
JaniceM said:
But what about situations I usually have- not knowing if the gifts were received because the recipients don't say so?
(most of my "gifting" is done from a distance).
Click to expand...
If I'm curious about that, I call them. I'm just saying I don't require a thank you. It's their parents' fault for not teaching them this courtesy, nothing to do with whether or not they love their grampa.
 
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