MarkD
Keeper of the Hounds & Garden
- Location
- San Francisco Bay Area
First let me turn up some cards: I come from a big family that stopped going to church soon after I started elementary school and before I got to high school I had thought to myself I’m an atheist. Of course for many Christians that’s exactly what I am but I didn’t struggle to get away from religion and harbor no resentment against it. I’m especially agnostic about “God” but deeply believe there is something more within than than the part that puts words together and works to make ends meet. I think there is something real, dynamic and important that gave rise to God belief. I just don’t think it was a being anything like a person. I think rather that it is something that arises naturally in consciousness much as our sense of having a self it a soul does. So what I’m wondering is if other people unmoored from traditional religious practice have come to think of “soul” as a meaningful concept.
To give an idea of what that might be I call on Wendel Berry and a passage from his wonderful book Jayber Crow:
“
And so I came along in time to know the end of the age of steamboating. I would learn later that there had been other ages of the river that I had arrived too late to know but that I could read about and learn to imagine. There was at first the age when no people were here, and I have sometimes felt at night that absence grow present in my mind, that long silence in which no human name was spoken or given, and the nameless river made no sound of any human tongue. And then there was the Indian age when names were called that have never been spoken in the present language of Port William. Then came the short ages of us white people, the ages of the dugout, the flatboat, the keelboat, the log raft, the steamboat. And I have lived on now into the age of the diesel towboat and recreational boating and water skiing. And yet it is hard to look at the river in its calm, just after daylight or just before dark, and believe that history has happened to it. The river, the river itself, leaves marks but bears none. It is only the water flowing in the path that other water has worn.
Or is that other water really “other”, or is it the same water always running, flowing always toward the gathering of all waters, and always rising and returning again, and again flowing? I knew this river first when I was a little boy, and I know it now when I am an old man once again living beside it … and almost seventy years! … and always when i have watched it I have been entranced and mystified. What is it? Is it the worn trough of itself that is a feature of the land and is marked on maps, or is it the water flowing? Or is it the land itself that over time is shaped by the flowing water, and it caught by no map?
The surface of the quieted river as I thought in those old days at Squire’s Landing, as I think now, is like a window looking into another world that is like this one except that it is quiet. Its quietness makes it seem perfect. The ripples are like the slats of a blind or a shutter through which we we see imperfectly what is perfect. Though that other world can be seen only momentarily, it looks everlasting. As the ripples become more agitated, the window darkens and the other world is hidden. As I did not know then but know now, the surface of the water is like a living soul, which is easy to disturb, is often disturbed, but, growing calm, shows what it was, is, and will be.”
I do think there is something essential to everyone of us which can be thought of as authentic. For me that is “soul”. I don’t think souls are any more eternal than raindrops which return by rivers to the sea to fall again and again as rain. But while what it is that is authentic for me restricts how I can be and and do, it is discovering and making our way accordingly that gives life meaning. Or so I think.
To give an idea of what that might be I call on Wendel Berry and a passage from his wonderful book Jayber Crow:
“
And so I came along in time to know the end of the age of steamboating. I would learn later that there had been other ages of the river that I had arrived too late to know but that I could read about and learn to imagine. There was at first the age when no people were here, and I have sometimes felt at night that absence grow present in my mind, that long silence in which no human name was spoken or given, and the nameless river made no sound of any human tongue. And then there was the Indian age when names were called that have never been spoken in the present language of Port William. Then came the short ages of us white people, the ages of the dugout, the flatboat, the keelboat, the log raft, the steamboat. And I have lived on now into the age of the diesel towboat and recreational boating and water skiing. And yet it is hard to look at the river in its calm, just after daylight or just before dark, and believe that history has happened to it. The river, the river itself, leaves marks but bears none. It is only the water flowing in the path that other water has worn.
Or is that other water really “other”, or is it the same water always running, flowing always toward the gathering of all waters, and always rising and returning again, and again flowing? I knew this river first when I was a little boy, and I know it now when I am an old man once again living beside it … and almost seventy years! … and always when i have watched it I have been entranced and mystified. What is it? Is it the worn trough of itself that is a feature of the land and is marked on maps, or is it the water flowing? Or is it the land itself that over time is shaped by the flowing water, and it caught by no map?
The surface of the quieted river as I thought in those old days at Squire’s Landing, as I think now, is like a window looking into another world that is like this one except that it is quiet. Its quietness makes it seem perfect. The ripples are like the slats of a blind or a shutter through which we we see imperfectly what is perfect. Though that other world can be seen only momentarily, it looks everlasting. As the ripples become more agitated, the window darkens and the other world is hidden. As I did not know then but know now, the surface of the water is like a living soul, which is easy to disturb, is often disturbed, but, growing calm, shows what it was, is, and will be.”
I do think there is something essential to everyone of us which can be thought of as authentic. For me that is “soul”. I don’t think souls are any more eternal than raindrops which return by rivers to the sea to fall again and again as rain. But while what it is that is authentic for me restricts how I can be and and do, it is discovering and making our way accordingly that gives life meaning. Or so I think.
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