No one ever loves you as much as your mother, (propaganda or true?)

I agree with that statement as applying to me. My parents were married for 7 1/2 years before having my brother. Then the doctor told her if she had another it would kill her. But she did not want my brother to be an only child. She wanted a daughter really bad. So she had me. Yes, the doctor was right. I almost killed her. She made it though and she was a wonderful mother to both my brother and me. We had a very close relationship (after I got out of my teenage years.....I was horrible! Not her fault). I miss her and she has been gone 20 years this year.
 
Murrmurr said:
Total propaganda, and you know it, @grahamg
I feel horrible that I told Paxton his mommy loves him. Fortunately, it was when he was only 2, and he doesn't remember I'm the one who told him, but it was like I led a lamb to slaughter.
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I guess a very good mother such as the one I described in the OP, who did promote the idea no one will love you more than your mother, would have intended it to mean "in the round".
 
grahamg said:
There's nothing guaranteed but it would be fair to say that in general mothers do love their children, (why else carry around a baby, losing your figure maybe, getting driven half way up the wall very often by them for one reason or another, but knowing you'd never want to be without them or so on,.....! 😇).
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I can think of several reasons. Child support, either from the father or the government, or both. I’m sure that when my daughter had to remove children from their home, that the mothers claimed to love their children. Just not more than they loved the drugs, which was most frequent reason for removal.
 
grahamg said:
I guess a very good mother such as the one I described in the OP, who did promote the idea no one will love you more than your mother, would have intended it to mean "in the round".
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It's still rubbish, though.

I mean, yeah the OP loves her kids like a mom, I have no doubt Michelle loves me as much as my mom did. She worries about me, makes sure I'm eating what I should and that put on clean socks and underwear every day and all that...plus she gives me lots of hugs and kisses. And bonuses on top of that.

I wouldn't want my kids growing up thinking that the level of their mother's love is simply unattainable, like it's some magical kind of love they can't get from any other source. I'd rather they use their mother's love as a standard...a standard that can be met if they meet the right person.

P.S. What do you mean, "in the round"? I don't get it, sorry.
 
Murrmurr said:
It's still rubbish, though.
(Break)
P.S. What do you mean, "in the round"? I don't get it, sorry.
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"All things considered" would have been a better way of putting my friends point of view about a mothers love.

Perhaps we can settle on a "mother generally comes at their parenting from a different angle", as a way of finding a form of words we both like?

(Quote: "In the round": A case that is considered thoroughly is looked at in the round and all the relevant factors are taken into proper consideration.)
 
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CarolfromTX said:
I can think of several reasons. Child support, either from the father or the government, or both. I’m sure that when my daughter had to remove children from their home, that the mothers claimed to love their children. Just not more than they loved the drugs, which was most frequent reason for removal.
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It still wouldn't be a good thing to take all children from their mothers though would it, (not that you're suggesting it, and there woud be no need for social services if such an idea were countenanced, just an army of state approved carers and child rearers who never had any children of their own).
 
mrstime said:
My mother wasn't capable of loving anyone but herself. She would claim she loved me the 3 or 4 times I ever saw her. My Grandma never told me she loved me, but I know she did! She died in 1975, and I have missed her every day since!
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And yet she created a star like you, (corny and patronising though that sounds, it has to be borne in mind doesn't it).
 
Well, I think it is fair to say that our relationship with our mother has a (perhaps the) major impact upon who we become as a person. That impact can be either positive or negative, and there are varying degrees to it all. I count myself blessed in this regard. And no, I'm not being sarcastic at all.

Happy Christmas! Merry New Year!
 
grahamg said:
It still wouldn't be a good thing to take all children from their mothers though would it, ...
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Who's even suggesting that?

The question is, "No one ever loves you like your mother" ...propaganda or not?
Clearly, propaganda.

And I think most people would agree, unless they've been brainwashed. It's the same propaganda that makes excellent fathers feel inadequate if they're left to raise their children because the mom died or ran off with another fella or can't stay sober.

I agree women approach love differently but that's not the point. The point is, most people (including court judges and social workers) assume the average mother shows love differently, ergo, better than the average father. But that's due to centuries of propaganda, imo. Most people assume "cavemen" weren't affectionate toward their children at all, but only because that's how illustrators depicted caveman fathers until very very recently....with zero evidence; total guesswork. Why?

(hint: brainwashed)
 
Tempsontime65 said:
Your mom is the ONLY woman who will always love you UNCONDITIONALLY..more than any wife, girlfriend!
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Well, not be be a killljoy, because I agree with you as it relates to me personally, and to the women in my family —my own mother, my daughter and my daughter in law.

That said, I know or have known women over my lifetime who don’t fit that category. Not many, but their love for their children definitely was conditional. One woman whose husband divorced her when he sons were teenstold me flat out that he love for her boys died when they chose their dad over her, and wanted to live with him.

She was a pleasant woman, well educated and their family seemed fine, though I didn’t know them as well as I knew some of my friends. Her boys were sweet and seemed to care for their parents equally, as much as you can know those things just from appearances. I was shocked by the divorce because there was no outward sign.

Whatever the reasons for the sons’ choice, it had a hugely deleterious effect on Mom, she just never got past it. Still had a relationship with her kids, still spent time with them, but voiced from time to time how much their decision affected her affection for them.

I never understood her, her attitude. Sure, I’d be crushed if that were my kids, might feel betrayed, but I just can’t imagine turning off my heart that way.
 
Grahamg wrote:
"It still wouldn't be a good thing to take all children from their mothers though would it, ..."(GG addition: "not that you're suggesting it"..., however, if anyone posts simply negative comments in relation to mothers then I think it is fair to point it out, even something so obvious)
Murrmurr said:
Who's even suggesting that?
The question is, "No one ever loves you like your mother" ...propaganda or not?
Clearly, propaganda.
And I think most people would agree, unless they've been brainwashed. It's the same propaganda that makes excellent fathers feel inadequate if they're left to raise their children because the mom died or ran off with another fella or can't stay sober.

I agree women approach love differently but that's not the point. The point is, most people (including court judges and social workers) assume the average mother shows love differently, ergo, better than the average father. But that's due to centuries of propaganda, imo. Most people assume "cavemen" weren't affectionate toward their children at all, but only because that's how illustrators depicted caveman fathers until very very recently....with zero evidence; total guesswork. Why?

(hint: brainwashed)
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Okay, I'll agree there is an element of "propaganda" abut the statement: "No one will ever love you as much as your mother", (although as we've seen many people feel in their lives it has been true, as we've all seen on this thread).

Now your more broad issues, I've as much reason to agree with you as anyone I guess, and according to my own direct knowledge, even a most able, loving/caring mother sometimes put their own interests above everyone else's in very important matters, with almost a disregard for the law and those administering it, (in fact gaining their support even though she showed them a level of contempt).

However, "we'll agree for now shall we"?

Mothers are different,... "tick".
Mothers are important,.... "tick"
WE dont want decent parents sidelined,.... "tick"
(All okay?)
 
Ronni said:
Well, not be be a killljoy, because I agree with you as it relates to me personally, and to the women in my family —my own mother, my daughter and my daughter in law.
That said, I know or have known women over my lifetime who don’t fit that category. Not many, but their love for their children definitely was conditional. One woman whose husband divorced her when he sons were teenstold me flat out that he love for her boys died when they chose their dad over her, and wanted to live with him.
She was a pleasant woman, well educated and their family seemed fine, though I didn’t know them as well as I knew some of my friends. Her boys were sweet and seemed to care for their parents equally, as much as you can know those things just from appearances. I was shocked by the divorce because there was no outward sign.

Whatever the reasons for the sons’ choice, it had a hugely deleterious effect on Mom, she just never got past it. Still had a relationship with her kids, still spent time with them, but voiced from time to time how much their decision affected her affection for them.

I never understood her, her attitude. Sure, I’d be crushed if that were my kids, might feel betrayed, but I just can’t imagine turning off my heart that way.
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You've said some very insightful things here, so much so I'm going to post the whole lot again before commenting on them.

Ronni quote:
"Well, not be be a killljoy, because I agree with you as it relates to me personally, and to the women in my family —my own mother, my daughter and my daughter in law.

That said, I know or have known women over my lifetime who don’t fit that category. Not many, but their love for their children definitely was conditional. One woman whose husband divorced her when he sons were teens told me flat out that he love for her boys died when they chose their dad over her, and wanted to live with him.

She was a pleasant woman, well educated and their family seemed fine, though I didn’t know them as well as I knew some of my friends. Her boys were sweet and seemed to care for their parents equally, as much as you can know those things just from appearances. I was shocked by the divorce because there was no outward sign.

Whatever the reasons for the sons’ choice, it had a hugely deleterious effect on Mom, she just never got past it. Still had a relationship with her kids, still spent time with them, but voiced from time to time how much their decision affected her affection for them.

I never understood her, her attitude. Sure, I’d be crushed if that were my kids, might feel betrayed, but I just can’t imagine turning off my heart that way."

Grahamg's response:
I think I can understand the way the woman/mother you describe behaved.

Is it possible, that as a mother, having done to her what so many of us fathers almost routinely have done to us, was somehow worse? It made her feel some kind of failure that couldn't be remedied, and she couldn't accept whatever love her sons tried to give her thereafter, is that it?

I'm only speculating of course, but "being on the wrong end of things so far as your children after divorce is no joke", (to be intentionally flippant about it, as a way of highlighting or covering the helplessness felt).
 
And some mothers overindulge their children so much that it causes harm. Had a lady in our office who spent years telling her son he never did anything wrong, it was always someone else's fault, etc. She ended up embezzling $$$$ to support his cocaine habit. She spent time in federal prison for that, and he spent time in state prison for his drug life. She's dead, and for all I know, he is too.
 
chic said:
Unless she's a narcissistic mom from hell who delights in psychologically controlling/manipulating her kids. It does happen. :(
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Of course, illness of all kinds comes into the way an adult might behave, not least a parent/mother, causing damage in its wake no doubt, "but its not the whole story is it", (people recover, come back to themselves, we can think that happy thought at Christmas cant we! :)).
 
grahamg said:
Of course, illness of all kinds comes into the way an adult might behave, not least a parent/mother, causing damage in its wake no doubt, "but its not the whole story is it", (people recover, come back to themselves, we can think that happy thought at Christmas cant we! :)).
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Maybe at Christmas it hurts the most.
 
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