I'm sure you are fully aware just how much you'd have been impacted, had you not had their love and care, (as I do concerning my own parents).I was very much loved by both parents, unconditionally.
And, I felt it.
When I look in the mirror, I see them both staring back at me..
Yes but we can still think about the happy occasions when those parents who were ill for some reason, come around again.
"lose your figure" - What a weird thing to say. Life happens, bodies change. No one ever says that about a woman who lives a full life and encounters sagging breasts and extra padding around the butt, waist, upper thighs. Did living long enough for that to happen make anyone ever say she lived so long that she lost her figure. Weird phrase...Grahamg wrote:
"There's nothing guaranteed but it would be fair to say that in general mothers do love their children, (why else carry around a baby, losing your figure maybe, getting driven half way up the wall very often by them for one reason or another, but knowing you'd never want to be without them or so on,.....!)."
You'd agree most women get the chance to choose to have their own child of course, and you'd agree most probably love them more even than the hubby, (or "equally but differently" if that isn't too obvious?).
Hey, I didn't invent it and we've all herd about getting rid of the baby bump.
I was truly a blessing
Oh, definitely.
I think we all know that is true, but you can't doubt, especially reading the majority of posts on this thread, just how many very good mothers there have been out there, (and when did you read a thread I started where most agreed with the thread title and OP?).
Those who never experience anything like that can obviously live very exciting and fulfilling lives, but without knowing the things you know, (at least in the same way, or to the same degree).
Nope, my Grandma took the raw clay and turned me into the woman I am today. I wish she knew how much I thank her!
I can only respond as a mother, @grahamg. I find it impossible, for right or for wrong, to step outside of that role and respond any other way.
I'm not looking to object to anything. Who cares what you think about a woman's appearance after she has given birth. Seriously?Hey, I didn't invent it and we've all herd about getting rid of the baby bump.
https://www.thebump.com/a/post-baby-body-fixers
Not that I mean to say anything other than in my humble opinion, many women look better after having had their children too, and I was simply emphasising some possible aspects of anyone deciding to become a mother.
Btw can I point you towards a thread called, "Are we still allowed to discuss female logic nowadays", (you may find plenty to object to there)
The problem is, many of them think they do. But their actions are something else. Or like in the case of the personality disorders, their actions never happened.
No, not "seriously", I mentioned a woman potentially losing her figure simply for the reason I've stated above, and to indicate a difference between the reality for a mother and anyone else.
There are problems everywhere, not least in anyone trying to be fair when steering a thread back onto a topic where there appears to be majority support for the contention that has been put forward in the OP.
I see your difficulty with the mother who turned against her child under the circumstances you described in your first post on this thread.I can only respond as a mother, @grahamg. I find it impossible, for right or for wrong, to step outside of that role and respond any other way.
One of my boys chose to stay with his dad after our divorce. He was the youngest boy, though not the youngest child. He has always been a people pleaser, a “can’t we all get along?” kind of person, so it didn’t take me by surprise too much when he chose to stay with his dad, who was abusive as the reason I left him.
Did it crush me? Absolutely. Did I feel like I was going to die? Yeah I did (I know that sounds dramatic, but if you know me at all thru this forum you know I don’t tend towards histrionics or drama.) I couldn’t breathe. I felt overwhelmed with crushing emotion. But at NO time did it ever occur to me, did I ever give even a passing thought to feeling less for my son for his decision.
I was frantic with worry for him, felt that his dad was going to take advantage of him financially, (he did) felt like my son would come to deeply regret this decision (he did) and that he would feel trapped( again yes) but at NO time did it even occur to me to think less of my kid, to feel animosity or anger or anything other than a bone deep worry.
So no, I didn’t feel a failure, or less, or that I couldn’t accept the love and affection and kindness that my son extended to me. Did I feel hopeless? Absolutely. I was frantic because I KNEW my son had made the wrong decision, but was powerless to change his mind.
It was a terrible time and I was devastated and wretched and torn and helpless. But my son ultimately came to understand what an awful decision he’d made, and I was there as his soft place to fall, his safe space, his succor and sanctuary, and he pulled out and made his life work in spite of that wrong decision.
He works for NASA now, as a programmer, has a beautify girlfriend, owns his own house, and is successful and thriving. Our relationship is as close as it’s possible to get and his GF loves me like a Mother. I couldn’t ask for anything more! It just took some time to get here.
My own children have benefited from the lack of love I had. They were all very much wanted and loved and I made sure they knew that. It's the small things that show love. It wasn't until I spent a week-end with my aunt and saw how caring she was, that I realised how cold and selfish my own mother was.
I think we can easily agree that where there is disfunction in a family to the degree you are referring to, then so much goes wrong, sometimes very quickly.
