Do you ever feel....

M

MikeyDude

Done
Location
Texas
Seems that lately I get this almost overwhelming feeling that my life is becoming just a list of things I'll never do again. Foods I won't taste (like abalone), places I won't see again, people I won't hang with, etc.. I'm a guitarist and I cannot find a group of guys to play with to save me.

My brother died in 2007 and while he was in the hospital they had to intubate him. Before they did that he made the comment to the doctor, "I guess I've had my last taste of real food, huh?" I've never forgotten that. And as I've gotten closer to his age I realize there's a lot of things that I am unable to do, or things that I won't get the opportunity to do.

I'm generally a very positive person, but this thought just barges in sometimes.

Sorry for the gloomy topic, but do you ever feel that way as you get older?
 

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Certainly. I stopped jogging 15 years ago. I stopped lifting weights. I walk up my stairs & hold on to the rail, instead of running up 2 stairs at a time with a bag of groceries in each hand. If I go to the shooting range, I bring 150 rounds, instead of 500 like I used to. I look forward to a quiet evening at home.
And "Once a King, always a King. But once a night's enough." :giggle:
 
No, I never feel that way. It's a blessing not to. You create your own reality by the thoughts you think. I prefer to think about all the things I will do, the things I would like to do, etc. And if it seems difficult, I try to find solutions and possibilities. Persistence pays off.
 

Yes, there are certain things I'll never do again, that I know of. And some that I don't know of.

It's hard sometimes, sure, but I keep trying to do whatever is left. Including some things I haven't thought of yet.

Have you tried hanging out with younger guitarists? My father was a guitarist. In the years before he died, he surrounded himself with young people.

I'm nowhere near as popular as he was, but my friends nowadays tend to be around 40 years old. I keep waiting for them to decide I'm too old and boring, but so far so good.
 
Yes, I feel that way if I allow myself to think about it. I try to remain positive about what I can do and focus on those things. Instead of all the physical activities I used to do, I spend more time on the computer. When the weather is nice, I go for walks in the park (using a walker or mobility chair) and spend time outside even if I am alone.

As far as find others to play music with, what about posting notices to find others who want to play with someone too? Find places that other guitarists frequent and start going there and getting to know them. I am not sure though I was married to a musician and he played alone.
 
horseless carriage said:
We used to eat them, they were called winkles and there would be a vendor going from pub to pub with a basket full of various seafood.
Was it just the East End that the seafood trader operated?
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yes we did as kids, but they're not the same as Abalone...

The winkle man used to come round the streets on a horse and cart in the city...

My husband was born and raised at the coast with all the cockle shell Sheds.. literally on his doorstep so he was raised on seafood..

When I was in my teens and 20's it was usual every Friday night for a Seafood seller with a basket over his arm to come round the pubs selling small portions of Prawns etc..
 
MikeyDude said:
Seems that lately I get this almost overwhelming feeling that my life is becoming just a list of things I'll never do again. Foods I won't taste (like abalone), places I won't see again, people I won't hang with, etc.. I'm a guitarist and I cannot find a group of guys to play with to save me.
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I know the exact feeling you're talking about, Mikey. It's not just things I won't be able to do (or eat, etc.) because of age (I'm 65) but it's often that feeling of grief when we buy a big ticket item. That's when it hits... like I need a new sofa and it hits me that it's the last time I'll be buying one most likely. Or a fridge. Or a car. It's also an issue for me with our long road trips that I have loved my entire life and the question is always there about whether I'll be doing it again. I try to do mind over matter and put those realizations to the back of my mind, but it is what it is and they will continue, I'm sure. @MikeyDude
 
CallMeKate said:
I know the exact feeling you're talking about, Mikey. It's not just things I won't be able to do (or eat, etc.) because of age (I'm 65) but it's often that feeling of grief when we buy a big ticket item. That's when it hits... like I need a new sofa and it hits me that it's the last time I'll be buying one most likely. Or a fridge. Or a car. It's also an issue for me with our long road trips that I have loved my entire life and the question is always there about whether I'll be doing it again. I try to do mind over matter and put those realizations to the back of my mind, but it is what it is and they will continue, I'm sure. @MikeyDude
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Funny you should mention that. I remember my father at 65 buying new white goods.. and a new sofa.. and saying that this is the last he will be buying... and I've never forgotten it. I was in my late 30's then, and I thought..that's not something I'll ever do. I will never think that something will be the last I'll buy. That's so claustrophobic..!.. so even if I buy a new sofa.. or new freezer or anything at all .. I'll always think ( even now at 67 ).. that I have the option of replacing those things at anytime in my life..
 
hollydolly said:
Funny you should mention that. I remember my father at 65 buying new white goods.. and a new sofa.. and saying that this is the last he will be buying... and I've never forgotten it. I was in my late 30's then, and I thought..that's not something I'll ever do. I will never think that something will be the last I'll buy. That's so claustrophobic..!.. so even if I buy a new sofa.. or new freezer or anything at all .. I'll always think ( even now at 67 ).. that I have the option of replacing those things at anytime in my life..
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Yes you do have that option. Life has taught me that a mood can breed a mood, so if you feel negative it will take some effort to turn that feeling around. Holly is right as far as I am concerned, I will buy what I want, at whatever age I am and the grim reaper can take a hike.

Tomorrow night we are off out to welcome 2023, we love to party even though arthritis has restricted our dancing. 2023 is worth looking forward to, it will be my 77th year on this planet and I am far from done yet.
 
horseless carriage said:
Yes you do have that option. Life has taught me that a mood can breed a mood, so if you feel negative it will take some effort to turn that feeling around. Holly is right as far as I am concerned, I will buy what I want, at whatever age I am and the grim reaper can take a hike.
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For many it's not "sad, sad, this is the last car I'll ever buy".... but rather "thank goodness, I'll probably never have to go car shopping again! Break out the champagne!" Perception, yes? That said, I do agree that buying whatever we want is a given... It's not a negative thing, just reality. Have fun bringing in 2023, @horseless carriage ! 🍾
 
I'm with CallmeKate, I seem to be on the opposite end of this scale. I get overwhelmed with all the things I still have to do and no longer have the energy for, like all the Christmas expectations we just went through.

My husband and I hate shopping and having to replace things so for the last 20 years we've been buying things with the hope that it will "see us out." Hah! With planned obsolescence getting shorter and shorter we're lucky if our major appliances last two years.

@Pepper, you should never be without a cat. My local humane society friend told me that this small town has an estimated 3000 stray cats. We can all get cats at the shelter and if we die before they do we've probably already increased their life span by many years, since strays only usually live about two years. If the shelter wont give you one. go through McDonald's drive in at night and open your car door.
 
I know I will never get another pet and I think I will probably only get one more car if my old one doesn't hold out but other than that I am fortunate that I still do what I want to do. I plan good things for the future and try to always have something to look forward to.
 
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