Pearlsandthings
New Member
Im 64 and my significant is 70. We have known each other for 30 years but just recently (8 months) have been talking visiting. No sex since he has serious heart/health issues. There is a woman from his drug using days that he still likes to support financially, pay to fix her car, buy her drugs, just give money to.
This month its safe to say he has given her family $1000. He has known her for probably 20 years. He has supported her whenever she calls for money, without question. He quit using 5 years ago but she still uses and looks like a meth user. They have no relationship yet she still comes to him for money at least once a week.
He seems to want a serious relationship with me yet when we talk, he has no plans to cut her out of our lives as we go forward. At this time, he wants me to be his lady and caregiver because he was recently told he needs a heart transplant.
I had planned to be his 24/7 caregiver because I thought we were exclusive but he plans to support this old love, "he says" until he moves in with me after his heart transplant. I just returned home after a 4 day visit (we havent seen each other since October) and I took him a nice gift and home cooked foods but he had not even taken the time to have a nice Christmas gift for me.
However, the old girlfriend called 30 minutes after I was supposed to leave, and she was crying, needing money and help with her truck. He told her he had a friend with him but he wouldnt call me "girlfriend" as he does to other people. Our discussions about this seem to go nowhere.
I have committed to being there as his transplant caregiver but my trust in him has been damaged and Im hurt by his emotional and financial obligation to a woman he knows is just using him yet he wants me to care for him.
I need advice how to say I cant commit to you any longer during this crucial time in his life. I dont feel safe in this relationship anymore. Advice please
This month its safe to say he has given her family $1000. He has known her for probably 20 years. He has supported her whenever she calls for money, without question. He quit using 5 years ago but she still uses and looks like a meth user. They have no relationship yet she still comes to him for money at least once a week.
He seems to want a serious relationship with me yet when we talk, he has no plans to cut her out of our lives as we go forward. At this time, he wants me to be his lady and caregiver because he was recently told he needs a heart transplant.
I had planned to be his 24/7 caregiver because I thought we were exclusive but he plans to support this old love, "he says" until he moves in with me after his heart transplant. I just returned home after a 4 day visit (we havent seen each other since October) and I took him a nice gift and home cooked foods but he had not even taken the time to have a nice Christmas gift for me.
However, the old girlfriend called 30 minutes after I was supposed to leave, and she was crying, needing money and help with her truck. He told her he had a friend with him but he wouldnt call me "girlfriend" as he does to other people. Our discussions about this seem to go nowhere.
I have committed to being there as his transplant caregiver but my trust in him has been damaged and Im hurt by his emotional and financial obligation to a woman he knows is just using him yet he wants me to care for him.
I need advice how to say I cant commit to you any longer during this crucial time in his life. I dont feel safe in this relationship anymore. Advice please