Should you date someone who is separated but not divorced?

In my younger years (late 20's) I chose to date a man who was separated and to be
legally divorced in six weeks. He was and did divorce six weeks later.

At my older age now and how I feel about things, I would not date a man who is
separated...nor have I since that one time those years ago.
 

"Should you date someone who is separated but not divorced?"

There is no should. No, I wouldn't. As for the "separated" party, howz about cleaning up your loose ends and wrappin' it up before gettin' sticky with someone else? 🤨 Nothin' like getting involved before all is said and done. I'm not gonna step into that no way no how. And if he's recently divorced, I'm also gonna pass.
 
I stay away from those situations. It's a good way to get yourself killed. Some of these maniacs think they are snipers and lay in wait for you. They are either sociopaths are psychopaths. They believe if they can eliminate you from the picture, the boyfriend or date, that their woman will come back to them.

Before I ask a woman out for a date, I will usually ask them, "Sorry if you think that I am being intrusive, but I would like to know if you are divorced or separated?" If they are divorced, I ask how long and if it's been over a year, I feel safe asking them out, but if they say we are just separated, I am like, "OK, well maybe I will see you around sometime."

I have had 2 friends murdered, one by an ex-husband and one by an ex-boyfriend. The ex-boyfriend worked out a deal that he was able to plead guilty to manslaughter and was given only 6 years. I was so pissed that I wrote the judge a letter and the next day, the Sheriff was at my door taking me in for questioning, to make sure I wasn't threatening the judge. I later found out the boyfriend was out of prison after serving only 4 years.

BTW, I never threatened the judge. I told him he should be ashamed of himself for allowing the plea and how good of a man my friend was and was serving his country honorably and had fought in 2 wars only to be killed by a junkie that when he was arrested didn't even know his address or last name. I thought my friend needed someone to stand up for him and let the judge know that justice was not served in this case.

This thread brought up a lot of bad memories.
 
Actually I know more couples who have split or separated meanwhile dating
others, then I know who have waited until the divorce is done and final.

For many being separated is a green line to immediately date, get involved
and a number of other things.
 
I think I'm long past all this dating mullarkey, anyway, who would want an ugly old fart like me taking up space in the house? 😊
 
Been There said:
I stay away from those situations. It's a good way to get yourself killed. Some of these maniacs think they are snipers and lay in wait for you. They are either sociopaths are psychopaths. They believe if they can eliminate you from the picture, the boyfriend or date, that their woman will come back to them.

Before I ask a woman out for a date, I will usually ask them, "Sorry if you think that I am being intrusive, but I would like to know if you are divorced or separated?" If they are divorced, I ask how long and if it's been over a year, I feel safe asking them out, but if they say we are just separated, I am like, "OK, well maybe I will see you around sometime."

I have had 2 friends murdered, one by an ex-husband and one by an ex-boyfriend. The ex-boyfriend worked out a deal that he was able to plead guilty to manslaughter and was given only 6 years. I was so pissed that I wrote the judge a letter and the next day, the Sheriff was at my door taking me in for questioning, to make sure I wasn't threatening the judge. I later found out the boyfriend was out of prison after serving only 4 years.

BTW, I never threatened the judge. I told him he should be ashamed of himself for allowing the plea and how good of a man my friend was and was serving his country honorably and had fought in 2 wars only to be killed by a junkie that when he was arrested didn't even know his address or last name. I thought my friend needed someone to stand up for him and let the judge know that justice was not served in this case.

This thread brought up a lot of bad memories.
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I'm surprised the ex boyfriend served 4 years. They are usually released after serving less than half of their sentence.
 
perChance said:
I have known some people who were divorced decades ago - they are still so bitter and full of hate I can't imagine anyone wanting to be with them. I don't think it's whether or not they are separated or divorced but whether or not they walked away and left all the baggage behind.
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Lol, there's a gal at the gym who's about 70 that still fulminates about her EX. I told her to work on letting that all go, sometime in the next 30 years.
 
My husband left for another woman That was a good thing. We had a legal separation but the divorce hadn’t happened. It was a small town and people knew the history. I wasn’t ready to settle down but didn’t mind going on a casual date.
 
I don't think I would. If someone is separated, they better get that divorce as fast as possible. I recently worked with a woman who left her husband. I thought it might be temporary but she ended up with this other guy. Got pregnant. I think they are still together but I don't know if she even divorced her husband yet. At least she didn't have a kid with the husband. This crap can get complicated. No thanks.
 
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