What would be one of your most embarrassing moments

SeniorBen said:
Me, to a female friend I hadn't seen in a while: "Hi, <her name>! Good to see you! Oh, I see you're pregnant!" From the looks of her belly, she looked to be about six months into a pregnancy.
Her: "No, I'm not pregnant."
Me. "Oh, ummmm...."

That was way back in the 1980s.
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D'oh!

Actually, I had a very similar experience...

In a train station arrivals lobby, I gave up my seat to a lady I'd never met, and as she sat down I smiled and asked "When is your baby due?"

And she said "My baby?" .....it took her a second. An agonizing, absolutely mortifying second. I literally held my breath, and I know I turned dark red. I felt it.

So then I asked "Oh, who are you waiting for?" ...because, you know, babies can buy train tickets.

She was gracious. She did glance down at her li'l pot-belly, though. I've never ever asked that question since unless the mother-to-be tells me with her own lips "I'm pregnant!" (also, only if she says it like it's good news)
 
I met a woman at work who liked to roller skate. I told her I never roller skated, but I am a good ice skater, so she said she would like to try it. We weren’t on the ice, but maybe 5 minutes when my one leg slipped and went really wide splitting my pants through the crotch. I told my date that we had to leave, now. I went back to my house and changed and she didn’t want to leave because she really liked my house. So, we ended up staying in and sending out for a pizza and a Stromboli. I had some wine and beer to go with it. What started out to be a terrible evening turned into a nice time.
 
deaver said:
mess my pants due to Diarrhea in public....
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Speaking of
I had a close call

Story time

Asian facilities

HK, at the turn of the century was pretty uptown, at least in Kowloon and neighboring areas…..but up the road, north of Shenzhen in Tangxia Village, Dongguan, the theme changed a bit.

While inspecting a factory there, an overpowering urge stopped me in my tracks.
Seems the dog I ate the previous night was not CDA grade A, ‘cause I was percolatin’.
I subtly grabbed my broker’s shirt with clenched fists and whispered my desires in his ear.

Apparently, doubling over and grimacing was sufficient body language, as several people pointed my way to the lavatory.
Full pedal down the long straightaway, periodically stopping, frozen, like a sow in heat, then full throttle thru the tiled ‘S’ turn and I was home free.
‘Cept there were no stalls,
and no toilets,
and no trough
….just a few tiled holes in the floor.
Clean though. Very clean.

It’s just there was no way I could wrap my mind around a remote possibility of a successful mission.
The prairie dogging salad shooter would definitely have ended up mostly somewhere inside my Wranglers.
My mind raced….take off the jeans and perch…then what?
No TP
What’s with the waterfall?!
Oh, no way.
The term ‘Suck it up’ became quite tangible.

If the tongue is the most muscular organ of the body, the sphincter has to be a close second.
So, I slowly strolled out of hole haven toward my broker, as nonchalantly as possible with compressed cheeks, and subtly grabbing his shirt with clenched fists, whisper/screamed, ‘to the hotel, NOW!!’

Yeah, I’ve left many a scat in the bush, but a coed hole-in-the-floor lavatory was just a bit too much.
 
Loads of embarrassing moments but, the one that sprung to mind when I was reading this was many years ago. I had gone to the pub with some friends and standing nearby was the boyfriend of an old friend of mine so, I stepped over and said "Hello Pete, where's Caroline?" The silence that followed was only slightly less embarrassing than the big row that ensued because, standing right beside me was a girl I had never met before who, apparently, was his new girlfriend!
 
I was in college and had spent the night in my boyfriend's dorm room. That wasn't allowed but went on frequently. The boys would help each other sneak their girlfriends into their rooms. Anyway, morning came, and there was a knock on the door. My boyfriend had forgotten that his father and grandfather were coming to visit him that weekend. We were both still in bed, stark naked, and he had to answer the door! :oops: He opened his closet door and told me to get in. The closet was narrow and full, and there was a hose wound up on the floor that he'd used to fill his waterbed.

Well, cr@p. There was no place to run and nowhere else to hide. The only alternative was to jump out the third-floor window, so I had no choice but to squeeze into the closet, buck nekkid, and stand on the freaking hose! 🥴 My boyfriend slipped on a pair of jeans and answered the door. Enter dad and granddad. 👨 👨‍🦳His dad sat down on a beanbag chair that was right in front of the closet door. I couldn't move at all or hardly breathe, or he'd would've heard me. That would've been a little... awkward.
affraid


My boyfriend finished getting dressed, and they were out of the room in about 20 minutes. That was a long 20 minutes. I couldn't leave his room to get out of the dorm because I wasn't supposed to be there and someone might've seen me. So I got dressed and waited for my boyfriend to come back from breakfast. I forget what he did with his dad and granddad, but he came back to his room alone. He apologized all over the place for forgetting they were coming and for having to stuff me into the closet, lol. Then he rounded up a couple of his friends to stand watch, and they got me out of the dorm unseen.

Bella ✌️
 
Working in a shoe shop a customer asked for a pair of cowboy boots, which were lined up neatly underneath the shoe rails, I knelt on the floor looking for his size, not realising he was standing behind me, turning to address him, I found my face was level with his crotch, just as the shop music system was playing Barry White singing this....

 
Wren said:
Working in a shoe shop a customer asked for a pair of cowboy boots, which were lined up neatly underneath the shoe rails, I knelt on the floor looking for his size, not realising he was standing behind me, turning to address him, I found my face was level with his crotch, just as the shop music system was playing Barry White singing this....

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OMG …….😂😂😂
 
I had left work sick, dry heaving food poisoning. I felt a pain in gut, figured I'd make it to Walmart. Well, it was halfway. It couldn't be stopped.

Luckily I'd refilled all my water jugs, so all alone thankfully on a warm night. Cleaned myself off in a Walgreens parking lot.

Then cleaned seat and side board. Redressed and went to Walmart to sleep.
 
About 20 years ago,so I can’t blame old age — I decided I needed a wristwatch to wear on a job. Because it would be coming in contact with some water, dirt, etc I didn’t want to spend a lot money on one.

I bought a cheap digital watch at Walmart. Got home, tried to set the correct time on it but could not get it to work. I could see the numbers changing but it just wouldn’t display the correct time. Well, I became very offended. Said I don’t care if it is a cheap watch it should still work.

I marched into Walmart and told the young man at the counter ‘This watch will not work!’

He took the watch and peeled off the little protective plastic cover on the face of the watch, the cover that had the time 8:30 displayed as an example, and said ‘now, what seems to be the problem?’

I said ‘never mind’ , grabbed the watch and made a quick exit.
 
Right Now said:
In high school, parking and making out with my boyfriend, drinking a beer. Suddenly, cops shined a flashlight in the window. They knew we had alcohol as we dumped the ice cooler outside the car. Did I mention my shirt was off? Cops asked my guy to step outside the car, just told him to take me home. I could hear the cop chuckling as he walked back to the patrol car.
I will add that I married this guy a year later.:)
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Oh yea, an embarrassing moment, I've had those ^^^^^thanks for reminding me.
We were up at the lake at night, when the cop showed up. And, he showed the cop his step father's license when asked, because he was such a criminal...they would have probably hauled his *ss in to jail.
 
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Right Now said:
I could hear the cop chuckling as he walked back to the patrol car.
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I think some cops enjoy that kind of encounter... I think the one I remember did.

You need to get to the last verse of this:

Dear Abby, dear Abby
Well I never thought
That me and my girlfriend would ever get caught
We were sitting in the back seat just shooting the breeze
With her hair up in curlers and her pants to her knees
Signed just married
 
Oh my. So many of them, what with awkward being my superpower.

Back in the 80s, DH and I were visiting NY and went into Manhattan for dinner with friends. We were seated at a table for four. It was a pretty swanky restaurant so I was more than a little shocked by the guy sitting alone at the table facing me, because he was eating with his hands as well as with his silverware. I made a couple of comments about it, probably loud enough for the guy to hear.

My friend's husband turned around to look, then said dryly, "Yeah, I bet it really offends his seeing eye dog, too."

OMG - I looked, and sure enough there was his dog under the table.

Yee-ouch! I wanted to find a hole to crawl into.
 
Jamala said:
Nope, I rarely have embarrassing moments. Brits are noted for their self-deprecating humour...we laugh at ourselves ;)

The only time I feel really embarrassed is when I see Brits behaving badly abroad and that is too frequent for my liking :(
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Americans are pretty good at laughing at ourselves, too. Seems to me that most people do.

Doesn't mean we don't make the occasional faux pas that we wish we hadn't.
 
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