What is your understanding of the term "gaslighting"?

[Sawfish]

I'll go first, to show good faith...

My gut level feeling is that it means to basically tell someone that something they have seen or otherwise experienced first hand, did not happen at all, or was profoundly different than what you directly observed.

I'm thinking it came from a movie, Gaslight, where the villain told the female lead that what she saw never happened. It was a way to mess with her mind, to make her think she was going nuts.

The term has become a favorite of journalists and commentators because, face it, it's *fun* to say, to use, and in part because the listener may not know the allusion and the person using it is trying to impress the listener with their sophistication.

But I think that the underlying and definitive aspect is to purposely and with ill or dishonest intent, to try to make someone doubt their own perceptions.

What do you folks think?

 

[caroln]

I'd say you're spot on.

 

[Murrmurr]

Yeah, that's about right.

 

[Disgustedman]

manipulate (someone) using psychological methods into questioning their own sanity or powers of reasoning.
"in the first episode, Karen Valentine is being gaslighted by her husband"

 

[JaniceM]

Unfortunately, it is very real.

But like you said, it turning into yet another 'pop' expression has resulted in overuse, misuse, and not taking it seriously or fully understanding it.

 

[Murrmurr]

Unfortunately, it is very real.

But like you said, it turning into yet another 'pop' expression has resulted in overuse, misuse, and not taking it seriously or fully understanding it.

That's a good point. And there's a lot of that going around, and some of it is actually causing real devastation in some people's lives.

 

[Alligatorob]

I'm thinking it came from a movie, Gaslight

Yep, from Wikipedia:

Gaslighting is a colloquialism, loosely defined as manipulating someone so as to make them question their own reality. The term derives from the title of the 1944 American film Gaslight, which was based on the 1938 British theatre play Gas Light by Patrick Hamilton, though the term did not gain popular currency in English until the mid-2010s

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gaslighting

 

[JaniceM]

That's a good point. And there's a lot of that going around, and some of it is actually causing real devastation in some people's lives.

Yes, it sure does.

 

[Wigglestein]

I'll go first, to show good faith...

My gut level feeling is that it means to basically tell someone that something they have seen or otherwise experienced first hand, did not happen at all, or was profoundly different than what you directly observed.

I'm thinking it came from a movie, Gaslight, where the villain told the female lead that what she saw never happened. It was a way to mess with her mind, to make her think she was going nuts.

The term has become a favorite of journalists and commentators because, face it, it's *fun* to say, to use, and in part because the listener may not know the allusion and the person using it is trying to impress the listener with their sophistication.

But I think that the underlying and definitive aspect is to purposely and with ill or dishonest intent, to try to make someone doubt their own perceptions.

What do you folks think?

Its a friendly way for the media to call political leaders liars.

 

[Sawfish]

That's a good point. And there's a lot of that going around, and some of it is actually causing real devastation in some people's lives.

Yes, I can see this as possible, and maybe even probable. All you need do is read this forum for a while to realize that.

To me it is a disgusting form of bullying.

And of course, being the youngest, smallest of my class in school, kids tried to bully me. My dad basically told me one really important life lesson, otherwise he was pretty taciturn.

I was whining about 6th grade kids bullying me when I was about 3rd grade. And he said something like...

"Well, you know the only way you'll get it to be better is that you'll have to settle it yourself."

and i sniveled something like...

"..but Sammy is way bigger and older! I'll never be able to beat him up!"

...and he kinda laughed in a good natured way and said...

"Oh, you don't have to beat him. Just make sure that he comes away and he's hurting somewhere. The more it hurts the better."

..and maybe two weeks later I stood up to him to the point that we started scuffling around like baboons and somewhere in there I locked onto his forearm with my teeth and hung on like a terrier of some kind.

I don't remember much after that other than Sammie, while never admitting that he hadn't beat the tar out of me, left me pretty much alone. He went and found another person to bully who didn't cause him any problems or pain.

True story.

It has informed my character to this day.

 

[1955]

I said this when it was the "Word Of The Day": Politician

 

[Murrmurr]

Yes, I can see this as possible, and maybe even probable. All you need do is read this forum for a while to realize that.

To me it is a disgusting form of bullying.

And of course, being the youngest, smallest of my class in school, kids tried to bully me. My dad basically told me one really important life lesson, otherwise he was pretty taciturn.

I was whining about 6th grade kids bullying me when I was about 3rd grade. And he said something like...

"Well, you know the only way you'll get it to be better is that you'll have to settle it yourself."

and i sniveled something like...

"..but Sammy is way bigger and older! I'll never be able to beat him up!"

...and he kinda laughed in a good natured way and said...

"Oh, you don't have to beat him. Just make sure that he comes away and he's hurting somewhere. The more it hurts the better."

..and maybe two weeks later I stood up to him to the point that we started scuffling around like baboons and somewhere in there I locked onto his forearm with my teeth and hung on like a terrier of some kind.

I don't remember much after that other than Sammie, while never admitting that he hadn't beat the tar out of me, left me pretty much alone. He went and found another person to bully who didn't cause him any problems or pain.

True story.

It has informed my character to this day.

I was thinking more along the lines of gender reassignment, nationwide propaganda, re-writing history, that sort of thing. But yay-howdy, I remember 6th graders!

 

[Nathan]

Gaslighting: presenting a false version of reality, with the intent of deceiving the victim(s) so as to disregard their own good sense and intuition. Keywords:deception, control, exploitation.
We've seen such deception from a former domestic leader and the media that supports and enables the falsehoods.

 

[Sawfish]

I was thinking more along the lines of gender reassignment, nationwide propaganda, re-writing history, that sort of thing. But yay-howdy, I remember 6th graders!

Oh, Sammy tried to take lunch money, but he never, ever gaslighted me, so far as I recall.

There's the official Bullys' Code, you see.

 

[Sawfish]

Gaslighting: presenting a false version of reality, with the intent of deceiving the victim(s) so as to disregard their own good sense and intuition. Keywords:deception, control, exploitation.
We've seen such deception from a former domestic leader and the media that supports and enables the falsehoods.

It's the coin of the realm at this point. Everybody's doing it to everybody else.

It has taken the place of handshaking, near as I can tell.

 

[CarolfromTX]

What comes to mind is the reporter walking in front of the burning buildings talking about mostly peaceful protests. Or the guy in a boat during flooding, and someone walks into the shot, and the water is barely up to his knees.

 

[Nemo2]

What comes to mind is the reporter walking in front of the burning buildings talking about mostly peaceful protests. Or the guy in a boat during flooding, and someone walks into the shot, and the water is barely up to his knees.

I remember both those incidents!

 

[leastlongprime]

What is: Don't point your arse and fart at an open flame.

 

[Sawfish]

I remember both those incidents!

Hmmm...I remember it differently...

Wasn't the guy standing in water up to his knees in front of burning buildings, while talking about "mostly peaceful protests"?

 

[Sawfish]

What is: Don't point your arse and fart at an open flame.

The tragic result is what is called a "blue darter".

 

[Victoria]

I'll go first, to show good faith...

My gut level feeling is that it means to basically tell someone that something they have seen or otherwise experienced first hand, did not happen at all, or was profoundly different than what you directly observed.

I'm thinking it came from a movie, Gaslight, where the villain told the female lead that what she saw never happened. It was a way to mess with her mind, to make her think she was going nuts.

The term has become a favorite of journalists and commentators because, face it, it's *fun* to say, to use, and in part because the listener may not know the allusion and the person using it is trying to impress the listener with their sophistication.

But I think that the underlying and definitive aspect is to purposely and with ill or dishonest intent, to try to make someone doubt their own perceptions.

What do you folks think?

Yes, the way you understand it is my understanding of it too. To make someone think they are crazy or imagining things.

 

[JaniceM]

Yes, the way you understand it is my understanding of it too. To make someone think they are crazy or imagining things.

"What you heard is not what I said"
"The way you experienced something.. is not the way it really happened"

etc.

but like the old saying, a person can't really get the full impact of it unless they were there.

 

[fuzzybuddy]

I never thought of it that way, but it's sort of 'gaslighting" when people start those conspiracy theories. I'm talking about "crisis actors, who 'acted' as though they were actually shot at Sandy Hook". I believe the term 'gaslighting' would apply.

 

[Sawfish]

I never thought of it that way, but it's sort of 'gaslighting" when people start those conspiracy theories. I'm talking about "crisis actors, who 'acted' as though they were actually shot at Sandy Hook". I believe the term 'gaslighting' would apply.

Technically, I'd disagree because you did not see it firsthand, but got the info from sources claiming knowledge, who themselves did not see it firsthand. You never did know what actually happened. Everything was a leap of faith when you choose to believe something without direct knowledge of it. So in the instance you'e using, one secondhand source is simply contradicting what a secondhand source first said. You've therefore got to figure out which is more plausible.

Or, alternatively, you can do as I often do, and ignore the whole thing with minimal personal involvement.

So far as I'm concerned, gaslighting is limited to your own firsthand knowledge and experiences. No leap of faith. You don't need to figure out whether it was plausible because you *saw* it firsthand.

 

[Remy]

I only heard of the definition a few short years ago. And I realized how many times it was used on me as an abused child. I was the problem. The screaming raging abusing adult was all fine.

It's a real and damaging form of abuse. But agree, it's become overused.