Why are you single?

Probably no one visits this thread, but here goes nothing.

Exactly 9 months ago today, I've lost my husband unexpectedly and suddenly. So, my status went from happily married for 36+ years to widow and therefore single.

I felt comfortable saying it only after hubby had his funeral service. However, it still feels strange as I'm pondering on what I'm supposed to do next...

Example: someone goes through a divorce, upon it being final (from people who are friends) they both took their wedding rings off. Then started on the dating scene again.

Granted, I miss the daily kisses and hugs. Waking up together in the morning and going to bed at night. Sincerely, it feels as if we're back (daughter and I -- son died in 2017) into the routine we had when hubby was away on work contracts for months on end but without daily phone calls or weekend returns.

I had to get things organised with munchkins teaching, daily chores, going out shopping. However, these days everything is limited as the cash isn't available as it was back then. So, it's keeping things going while finding new groceries avenue which costs less and surprisingly gives us more food.

I've found this site after crying my eyes out on a bereavement site which in the end gave no support. I've acquired a new kitten for help, health and vitality. No offers of medication to cope with situation at hand. However, kitten has been the best medicine and daughter too, she's been a rock.

Looking for friends as I love a word or two here and there, I get that here, which is an added bonus. The first few days afterwards were the hardest. Month of May had daughter's and hubby's birthday and his funeral took place in the last week of May.

Our 37th wedding anniversary was in June and we used to look at our wedding album usually. I couldn't find the strength to even pick it up.

Daughter and I took out our July to-do list and we've been working on it, slowly but surely. Scoring off what we wanted done. Granted had to add a few more things which thankfully were done quickly. We're getting there.

Saturdays are difficult as he died on a Saturday and on the anniversary as like today, it's a wee bit more trying. Maybe once it's been a year that he's gone, I might start looking but I feel more that if a second soulmate is out there for me, it'll happen the same way I'd met my departed husband back in the 80s.

For now, getting friends to chat with is the priority as loneliness is a constant companion these days. Cheers!
There are people here who are welcoming, I'm one...
There's really no "getting over". What we can say is time can make it better...
Keep us posted...
 

Reading these posts makes me realize why the government is bringing in millions of immigrants into Canada and the USA. Consider the following:

1. Present Canadians and Americans either want to stay single or get married but don't want any kids. No marriage and no kids means you are a dying race.
2. We bring in immigrants. Some (not all) have up to 10 kids with them. They are the future of our country.

Face the facts about the future of your nation. Like Bob Dylan sang, "The times are changin'.
 

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There are people here who are welcoming, I'm one...
There's really no "getting over". What we can say is time can make it better...
Keep us posted...
Oh! I wouldn't say that no one reads your post because I read all of it. I was married twice and both of my wives have died. I had a total of 44 years of a wonderful married lives. Can't understand what all the misery and negative postings here are about. Maybe they just never learned what real love is about? So sad!
 
I guess the reason I stay single is that I am self sufficient and content with the life I've made. In past relationships, I've made huge compromises and I'm glad that phase of my life is over.
I think I'm single for many of the same reasons you are, but I'm not opposed to a friendship type companion to share occasional conversation, meals and help in emergencies with. I just wish there was a better way for local seniors to meet others who might want the same thing.
 
Why am I single? I don't think it's me, because, well, I'm wonderful. So, it must be everybody else. I guess they are blinded by my awesome wonderfulness. Yup, that's it.
That's it certainly, (and if not keep telling everyone so and we'll hope most obligingly agree!).

What our exes might say of us is another matter, (if they've managed a stable enough and happy relationship, since departing the debacle :( ).
 
Probably no one visits this thread, but here goes nothing.

Exactly 9 months ago today, I've lost my husband unexpectedly and suddenly. So, my status went from happily married for 36+ years to widow and therefore single.

I felt comfortable saying it only after hubby had his funeral service. However, it still feels strange as I'm pondering on what I'm supposed to do next...

Example: someone goes through a divorce, upon it being final (from people who are friends) they both took their wedding rings off. Then started on the dating scene again.

Granted, I miss the daily kisses and hugs. Waking up together in the morning and going to bed at night. Sincerely, it feels as if we're back (daughter and I -- son died in 2017) into the routine we had when hubby was away on work contracts for months on end but without daily phone calls or weekend returns.

I had to get things organised with munchkins teaching, daily chores, going out shopping. However, these days everything is limited as the cash isn't available as it was back then. So, it's keeping things going while finding new groceries avenue which costs less and surprisingly gives us more food.

I've found this site after crying my eyes out on a bereavement site which in the end gave no support. I've acquired a new kitten for help, health and vitality. No offers of medication to cope with situation at hand. However, kitten has been the best medicine and daughter too, she's been a rock.

Looking for friends as I love a word or two here and there, I get that here, which is an added bonus. The first few days afterwards were the hardest. Month of May had daughter's and hubby's birthday and his funeral took place in the last week of May.

Our 37th wedding anniversary was in June and we used to look at our wedding album usually. I couldn't find the strength to even pick it up.

Daughter and I took out our July to-do list and we've been working on it, slowly but surely. Scoring off what we wanted done. Granted had to add a few more things which thankfully were done quickly. We're getting there.

Saturdays are difficult as he died on a Saturday and on the anniversary as like today, it's a wee bit more trying. Maybe once it's been a year that he's gone, I might start looking but I feel more that if a second soulmate is out there for me, it'll happen the same way I'd met my departed husband back in the 80s.

For now, getting friends to chat with is the priority as loneliness is a constant companion these days. Cheers!
You're doing the right thing by trying to discuss your situation in my view.

As far as the loneliness you mentioned, (Quote: "For now, getting friends to chat with is the priority as loneliness is a constant companion these days. Cheers!"

Its a feeling I've had certainly, but seemed to faded as far as I'm concerned, though I'm sure I need people to interact with and get whatever might be in your system out of the way, and yet I do feel if I had a happy relationship going I'd be more content!
 
Oh! I wouldn't say that no one reads your post because I read all of it. I was married twice and both of my wives have died. I had a total of 44 years of a wonderful married lives. Can't understand what all the misery and negative postings here are about. Maybe they just never learned what real love is about? So sad!
This is why I said what I said..
Supernatural said:
"Probably no one visits this thread, but here goes nothing."

"Exactly 9 months ago today, I've lost my husband unexpectedly and suddenly. So, my status went from happily married for 36+ years to widow and therefore single."

"I felt comfortable saying it only after hubby had his funeral service. However, it still feels strange as I'm pondering on what I'm supposed to do next..."

"Example: someone goes through a divorce, upon it being final (from people who are friends) they both took their wedding rings off. Then started on the dating scene again."

"Granted, I miss the daily kisses and hugs. Waking up together in the morning and going to bed at night. Sincerely, it feels as if we're back (daughter and I -- son died in 2017) into the routine we had when hubby was away on work contracts for months on end but without daily phone calls or weekend returns."

"I had to get things organised with munchkins teaching, daily chores, going out shopping. However, these days everything is limited as the cash isn't available as it was back then. So, it's keeping things going while finding new groceries avenue which costs less and surprisingly gives us more food."

"I've found this site after crying my eyes out on a bereavement site which in the end gave no support. I've acquired a new kitten for help, health and vitality. No offers of medication to cope with situation at hand. However, kitten has been the best medicine and daughter too, she's been a rock."

"Looking for friends as I love a word or two here and there, I get that here, which is an added bonus. The first few days afterwards were the hardest. Month of May had daughter's and hubby's birthday and his funeral took place in the last week of May."

"Our 37th wedding anniversary was in June and we used to look at our wedding album usually. I couldn't find the strength to even pick it up."

"Daughter and I took out our July to-do list and we've been working on it, slowly but surely. Scoring off what we wanted done. Granted had to add a few more things which thankfully were done quickly. We're getting there."

"Saturdays are difficult as he died on a Saturday and on the anniversary as like today, it's a wee bit more trying. Maybe once it's been a year that he's gone, I might start looking but I feel more that if a second soulmate is out there for me, it'll happen the same way I'd met my departed husband back in the 80s."

"For now, getting friends to chat with is the priority as loneliness is a constant companion these days. Cheers!"

My post was in answer. She wrote "loneliness is a constant companion these days"
I'm single because I choose to be, that's not always the case as Supernatural just let us know...
 
I feel much the same as the rest of you. We have to be honest, living with other people can be very stressful. None of us are exactly alike and having to put up with another person's lifestyle is difficult.
Let's ask another question....why is it taken for granted that a person cannot be happy living alone? Although it's now 15 years since I split from my husband, I'm still constantly reminded of how much I put up with.
 
[Old revived 2014 with most of those members no longer posting.]

Although I have always greatly loved women and the idea of marrying and having a family, such has not been a possibility during my adult life since an injury at age 21 after suffering a rare internal injury due to my own wreckless fault. Thus until this recent decade plus have lived decades with the eternal abyss just a miss step away, unwilling to leave possible wife or dependents helpless were I to pass. Currently in these last years would welcome a compatible woman. :)
 
A few years after my husband died, I woke up one morning & shouted out loud "I want to get married again!"

Soon after this declaration my mother was killed and I came down with cancer for the first time and afterwards could barely walk for seven years........then I got cancer again and also can barely walk without agony again.

So, there was no time for dating.
 
A few years after my husband died, I woke up one morning & shouted out loud "I want to get married again!"

Soon after this declaration my mother was killed and I came down with cancer for the first time and afterwards could barely walk for seven years........then I got cancer again and also can barely walk without agony again.

So, there was no time for dating.
Oh Pepper, I didn't know! I knew you had gone through SO MUCH in your life and were a FORCE, but I had no idea what you were going through. I'm so sorry!
 
I am single because it is my preferred state. I LIKE my own company. The only reason I managed to be married to my husband was because he was a long-haul truck driver.
You're not the first to say something like this.
A truly lovely lady who worked at the same company as I twenty years ago, used to say she couldn't live with her husband if he hadn't gone to sea for six months every year, (he used to cry when he left her sometimes she told us too, so he must have loved her!). :)
 
I have spent most of my life married. This involves a lot of compromise and taking care of others. Now at 68 I am enjoying my drama free life and just want to take care of my dogs and myself.
 


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