Not that anyone is asking

@Murrmurr

How was Paxton's visit with you, today?
It was great! Michelle had a class, but my sister, Bonnie, was here and she kept the twins entertained so I could hang out with Paxton. We looked through his photo album, took a treasure-hunt walk, and ate spaghetti out in the party room. Then I took him & the twins into their new bedroom to check it out, and I let them jump on the beds for a while, something I always let Paxton do when me & him lived in the apartment. Paxton loved how I arranged all his toys and stuff. And I promised the twins I'd get them some new toys to put in there.

Best of all, Bonnie immediately grabbed the twins for hugs and kisses so they wouldn't shove Pax out of the way when he ran to get big hello hugs from me.

We had a really good time, but man, it flew.
 
It was great! Michelle had a class, but my sister, Bonnie, was here and she kept the twins entertained so I could hang out with Paxton. We looked through his photo album, took a treasure-hunt walk, and ate spaghetti out in the party room. Then I took him & the twins into their new bedroom to check it out, and I let them jump on the beds for a while, something I always let Paxton do when me & him lived in the apartment. Paxton loved how I arranged all his toys and stuff. And I promised the twins I'd get them some new toys to put in there.

Best of all, Bonnie immediately grabbed the twins for hugs and kisses so they wouldn't shove Pax out of the way when he ran to get big hello hugs from me.

We had a really good time, but man, it flew.
So glad to hear you and Paxton had one-on-one time. It sounds like everyone enjoyed themselves, and it was good of Bonnie to keep the twins occupied.

I can visualize the kids jumping on their beds :) I hope you will be allowed more time to spend together, in the near future.
 
So glad to hear you and Paxton had one-on-one time. It sounds like everyone enjoyed themselves, and it was good of Bonnie to keep the twins occupied.

I can visualize the kids jumping on their beds :) I hope you will be allowed more time to spend together, in the near future.
" I hope you will be allowed more time"

It's slow in coming but I sent the worker an email about it and I expect a good outcome from that. If nothing comes of it, I'll contact the department administrator. Again.

Unfortunately, because I was so physically active with Paxton yesterday - a little hike, some hoop shots, some running, and some jumping - I had 3 leg-foot cramp attacks last night, and one was really bad. It was one of those *cramps+extremely painful palsy-like contortions+leg-bones on fire* attacks. I lost a lot of sleep, and the calves of my legs have been twitching non-stop since 3am....not painful, but so annoying. Plus that twitching is usually a per-curser to violent cramps.

Bonnie suggested salt tablets or a Gatorade this morning, which is good thinking except this is caused by a nerve in my lower spine, not an electrolyte imbalance. But I did have a Gatorade anyway, for maybe's sake.
 
@Murrmurr

Maybe less strenuous activities could be as interesting for Paxton.. though I can't think of any offhand. Crafts? I guess the twins would want to participate in that too.

I used to get terrible leg cramps in the night. Don't know what caused them. They were extreme, but I'm
sure yours surpass what I used to experience. Wish there was something you could take to ease yours, but
you have probably gone over that with your doctor.
 
@Murrmurr

Maybe less strenuous activities could be as interesting for Paxton.. though I can't think of any offhand. Crafts? I guess the twins would want to participate in that too.

I used to get terrible leg cramps in the night. Don't know what caused them. They were extreme, but I'm
sure yours surpass what I used to experience. Wish there was something you could take to ease yours, but
you have probably gone over that with your doctor.
I showed Paxton my little workshop and told him my plan to start building homes for homeless cats. He's anxious to help with that so I'm even more anxious for his caseworker to approve 1 on 1 visits with just Paxton.

Yes, I have talked to my regular doctor and my spine specialist about the cramps. The doctor is thinking electrolytes, but the spine doc is thinking it's a nerve thing because of the fiery sensation in my leg bones. You may know that major bones like the ones in our legs are sheathed in a thin, tough, protective membrane that also covers a tight network of many tiny nerves. Like the nerves in a tooth, any contact within that myelin sheath hurts like hell, but it's literally a hot pain. Very hot. To me, it feels like lava is flowing through my leg bones.

Inflammation can cause contact with the nerves in the myelin sheath, but my anti-inflammatory drug doesn't have any effect on the pain. Or maybe it does, but the effect isn't significant enough for me to notice a difference.

But this is why I believe me adopting Paxton would be unfair to him. What's going on in my legs and my spine limits me physically. I can't actively teach him to play baseball or football or any sport, can't take him fishing and camping...or, I mean I could, but only for like an hour or two, maximum, and then I'd need a fistful of drugs and a couple days in bed. And based on the fact that sometimes the leg symptoms include temporary paralysis, I think there's a possibility that if I push myself too far, the paralysis won't be temporary. And there'd be Paxton pushing old "dad" around in a wheelchair.

No. Not gonna happen. I'm not going to take that chance. There's been quite enough unfairness in his life already.
 
I showed Paxton my little workshop and told him my plan to start building homes for homeless cats. He's anxious to help with that so I'm even more anxious for his caseworker to approve 1 on 1 visits with just Paxton.

Yes, I have talked to my regular doctor and my spine specialist about the cramps. The doctor is thinking electrolytes, but the spine doc is thinking it's a nerve thing because of the fiery sensation in my leg bones. You may know that major bones like the ones in our legs are sheathed in a thin, tough, protective membrane that also covers a tight network of many tiny nerves. Like the nerves in a tooth, any contact within that myelin sheath hurts like hell, but it's literally a hot pain. Very hot. To me, it feels like lava is flowing through my leg bones.

Inflammation can cause contact with the nerves in the myelin sheath, but my anti-inflammatory drug doesn't have any effect on the pain. Or maybe it does, but the effect isn't significant enough for me to notice a difference.

But this is why I believe me adopting Paxton would be unfair to him. What's going on in my legs and my spine limits me physically. I can't actively teach him to play baseball or football or any sport, can't take him fishing and camping...or, I mean I could, but only for like an hour or two, maximum, and then I'd need a fistful of drugs and a couple days in bed. And based on the fact that sometimes the leg symptoms include temporary paralysis, I think there's a possibility that if I push myself too far, the paralysis won't be temporary. And there'd be Paxton pushing old "dad" around in a wheelchair.

No. Not gonna happen. I'm not going to take that chance. There's been quite enough unfairness in his life already.
@Murrmurr

I was thinking of something to do with building blocks, like the big Lego's .. homes for homeless cats goes
one better! Love that idea. Building something creates a sense of accomplishment.

You've certainly been put through the grinder as far as injury/pain goes. I truly understand what you are
saying about not adopting Paxton due to physical limitations.

I sincerely hope you get to spend more one-on-one time together, in the very near future. Keep up the
good fight!
 
@Murrmurr

I was thinking of something to do with building blocks, like the big Lego's .. homes for homeless cats goes
one better! Love that idea. Building something creates a sense of accomplishment.

You've certainly been put through the grinder as far as injury/pain goes. I truly understand what you are
saying about not adopting Paxton due to physical limitations.

I sincerely hope you get to spend more one-on-one time together, in the very near future. Keep up the
good fight!
I agree, if only your body was as strong as your Will and your Fight for Right, Frank.. you'd be unstoppable..
 
I went to family court in Jackson this morning to watch Paxton's mother's trial. This was supposed to be it, either she'd lose her parental rights or not. But the defense had no luck getting hold of the doctor who examined him. They have his report, but the judge insists on live testimony so he set a new date; March 2nd.

Tara, Pax's mother, requested a restraining order against me. Guess she didn't like that I was there. I don't know if it'll be granted. I don't know how those work; don't know if I get to respond, or what. She also asked again for visitation with the kids. She got a big, fat No.

Meanwhile, I'm STILL waiting for CPS to relax my visitation, Tony and Melanie decided they DEFINITELY can't adopt all 3 kids, and CPS won't separate them, and the kids are spending weekends and a few after-school hours on Wed with those friends of Mel&Tony who want to adopt....whoever in the frig they are.

And Paxton asks about me a lot less because it's proved futile. Instead, ever since he figured out Melanie can't be his new mommy, he just keeps saying "I don't want to live with the mean mommy."
 
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Horror story. I'm so sorry Frank, so very sorry.
Thank you, sweetie.

This whole thing has been dragging me down mentally for the past few months and that's effecting my overall health. I feel so helpless. I'm losing him, he's lost faith in me, and CPS is untouchable (legally). My only hope is these people being prepped to adopt will give Paxton a good life and some happiness. Mel told them I'm important to Paxton, in fact, she said "crucial," so they said they'll keep me in his life but they want to meet me first. They said they'll arrange a time later this week, for lunch someplace.
 
Thank you, sweetie.

This whole thing has been dragging me down mentally for the past few months and that's effecting my overall health. I feel so helpless. I'm losing him, he's lost faith in me, and CPS is untouchable (legally). My only hope is these people being prepped to adopt will give Paxton a good life and some happiness. Mel told them I'm important to Paxton, in fact, she said "crucial," so they said they'll keep me in his life but they want to meet me first. They said they'll arrange a time later this week, for lunch someplace.
@Murrmurr

That these people are willing to meet with you, is a good sign. I hope all goes positively .. in fact, no reason
for it to go otherwise.

Meanwhile, think positively. I know it's been a tough road, but, you're strong, Frank.
 
Paxton's coming to visit this coming Thursday. I have 2 projects planned: we'll work on a free-roaming cat hut, and then we'll try to dye my beard blue or purple with some intense food dye. Has to be the beard, because, obviously....

Do you think a quality food dye will work?
There are temporary hair dyes that may be better to use. Not sure if food dye will last longer? I think food
dye will work.

Building a cat-hut sounds like fun!
 

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