What'd I say? Posted this on Reddit...

[Magna-Carta]

Maybe the reasons they are on the Polyamorous thread are different to yours. Perhaps thair outlook of Polyamorous is different, and they see your post as being undermining to their own reasons for being part of the thread? Some people might join a thread for other reason than agreeing with what’s being said.

If most people there are younger then maybe there reasons for being there and for being polyamorous are very different to yours.

Perhaps there outlook of Polyamorous is different, and they see your post as being undermining to their own reasons for being part of the thread?

Some people might down vote something not because they totally disagree with everything, but instead because they might disagree or dislike a small aspect of what’s being posted. I suppose people vote in different ways for different reasons. People even vote the same way for different reasons. I don’t think any down voting would bother me on any subject that much. Especially when it’s difficult or near impossible to determine what the down vote was for. Someone trying to communicate something only through a vote isn’t going to tell people much.

 

[Medusa]

Maybe the reasons they are on the Polyamorous thread are different to yours. Perhaps thair outlook of Polyamorous is different, and they see your post as being undermining to their own reasons for being part of the thread? Some people might join a thread for other reason than agreeing with what’s being said.

If most people there are younger then maybe there reasons for being there and for being polyamorous are very different to yours.

Perhaps there outlook of Polyamorous is different, and they see your post as being undermining to their own reasons for being part of the thread?

Some people might down vote something not because they totally disagree with everything, but instead because they might disagree or dislike a small aspect of what’s being posted. I suppose people vote in different ways for different reasons. People even vote the same way for different reasons. I don’t think any down voting would bother me on any subject that much. Especially when it’s difficult or near impossible to determine what the down vote was for. Someone trying to communicate something only through a vote isn’t going to tell people much.

Yeah, who knows? As you say, there's really no way of telling what people are thinking.
In any event, it's done and I'm feeling good about life, the universe and everything lately and very grateful for that. ♥

 

[OneEyedDiva]

Ah, good point.
Yes there are such forums, but I'm not really in need of them as I only rarely post about this subject. Today is an exception as I am exceptionally happy today, which is just g*damned marvelous for many reasons. ♥

It's a relief to be able to be you and do you Medusa. Don't let anyone steal your thunder. Many times those who are so sanctimonious have done worse things than those they point fingers at. I'm glad to read that you were so happy when you posted the thread. Hope that's still the case. I became aware of your lifestyle during one of our Zoom meetings and if you recall, I was not shocked by it. Your posts reminds me that I had read about a young polyamorous couple a years ago and was fascinated at how they worked things out between them.
I've come across Reddit opinions in one of the news feed I read (I think it's Google's). Some people's posts seem like for sure they'll get mostly negative responses but just the opposite has been true in many of the ones I've read. I don't subscribe to Reddit though, so I haven't had access to read a lot of posts.

I was terrified, at first, of letting people I've known for years know that I had entered a polygamous marriage. But people who know me were very supportive because they knew it was a better fit for me than "traditional" marriage, which I had the first go round and never wanted to do again. The multitude of people who knew him were not surprised, so it was no big deal to them. It was such a relief to "go public"! Of course my close family knew about it. So did one of my co-workers, also a friend, who had tried for years to get us together, even though he knew of my husband's marital status. Hell, if my husband had his way, we would've gotten married in the city's big park with loads of people in attendance, but I definitely wasn't ready for that. My family members fell in love with him (he was a hard guy not to like/love). My sister who was skeptical at first wound enjoying our attendance at her cookouts and holiday dinners. Her brother-in-law and sister had to be "in the house" or she just didn't feel right. My husband and my brother became the best of friends, as did he and my sister's S.O. I also became good friends with my co-wife and was quite friendly with her sisters. One of them hung out with us when we took a trip to the Poconos. My co-wife who hated to travel, didn't come. Both my husband and co-wife are gone but her sister still keeps in touch and sends me invitations to events. It all worked out the way it was supposed to.

 

[seadoug]

@Medusa, all I care about is that you are feeling great these days, not about the trolls on Reddit.

 

[Medusa]

It's a relief to be able to be you and do you Medusa. Don't let anyone steal your thunder. Many times those who are so sanctimonious have done worse things than those they point fingers at. I'm glad to read that you were so happy when you posted the thread. Hope that's still the case. I became aware of your lifestyle during one of our Zoom meetings and if you recall, I was not shocked by it. Your posts reminds me that I had read about a young polyamorous couple a years ago and was fascinated at how they worked things out between them.
I've come across Reddit opinions in one of the news feed I read (I think it's Google's). Some people's posts seem like for sure they'll get mostly negative responses but just the opposite has been true in many of the ones I've read. I don't subscribe to Reddit though, so I haven't had access to read a lot of posts.

I was terrified, at first, of letting people I've known for years know that I had entered a polygamous marriage. But people who know me were very supportive because they knew it was a better fit for me than "traditional" marriage, which I had the first go round and never wanted to do again. The multitude of people who knew him were not surprised, so it was no big deal to them. It was such a relief to "go public"! Of course my close family knew about it. So did one of my co-workers, also a friend, who had tried for years to get us together, even though he knew of my husband's marital status. Hell, if my husband had his way, we would've gotten married in the city's big park with loads of people in attendance, but I definitely wasn't ready for that. My family members fell in love with him (he was a hard guy not to like/love). My sister who was skeptical at first wound enjoying our attendance at her cookouts and holiday dinners. Her brother-in-law and sister had to be "in the house" or she just didn't feel right. My husband and my brother became the best of friends, as did he and my sister's S.O. I also became good friends with my co-wife and was quite friendly with her sisters. One of them hung out with us when we took a trip to the Poconos. My co-wife who hated to travel, didn't come. Both my husband and co-wife are gone but her sister still keeps in touch and sends me invitations to events. It all worked out the way it was supposed to.

Dear, lovley, @OneEyedDiva, thank you for this wonderful post. In the end it's all about love, isn't it. It's love made plain.

 

[Swirly]

My guess is that there was nothing on your post for anyone to discuss-- it's just a statement, and they're not interested in congratulating you on your current situation. Reddit can be confounding for older people-- I love to read stuff on that forum, but any posts I've put up have fallen similarly (mysteriously, to me) flat.

I'm new, by the way. Hey all!

 

[NorthernLight]

Welcome, @Swirly !

 

[Medusa]

My guess is that there was nothing on your post for anyone to discuss-- it's just a statement, and they're not interested in congratulating you on your current situation. Reddit can be confounding for older people-- I love to read stuff on that forum, but any posts I've put up have fallen similarly (mysteriously, to me) flat.

I'm new, by the way. Hey all!

I think too that there's the simple phenomenon of people being naturally more comfortable with other peoples' sorrows rather than their successes. I don't know though, that opinion feels a bit harsh. -- I do see a lot of congratulating and "cheering on" people who are declaring success in one form or another. ...On the other hand however, that typically occurs (in my experience), on boards for struggles wherein people are usually either asking for help, venting or declaring a success, where then the natural response would be to cheer for them.

My post was different in that the poly board isn't necessarily a support board, but just one for the poly community to discuss their lives. So, I can see where my post would not garner a lot of "Yay for you," kind of responses from most. Although, I would have "yayed" for someone else putting up the same post. Just say'n. Sheesh. LOL

Welcome, @Swirly !

 

[PeppermintPatty]

You wouldn't think people would be cliquey on something like Ravelry, but I suppose people are people everywhere and the ones who are going to behave that way will do it in any setting.

I've noticed that too, that some threads on Reddit are very well moderated and others are looser.

Anyway, nother day; still happy.

Thank you, @Remy

I think cliquey happens on all sites. It’s a hard thing to avoid . Nobody can know what these people are thinking and why they shot your post down. In my experience, cliquey people ‘seem’ to be followers so when one person responds unfavourably, the others follow suit.
You've got a very upbeat personality. Try not to let anyone rain on your parade. As long as you are happy and not hurting anyone, then don’t worry about it. Typed words get misunderstood often, especially online.

 

[PeppermintPatty]

I think too that there's the simple phenomenon of people being naturally more comfortable with other peoples' sorrows rather than their successes.

I agree. I think most people don’t like subjects that make them feel uncomfortable. In my experience, anything that is too sad, is viewed as victim mentality and anything that is too happy considered gloating. Your guess is as good as mine I suppose. Lol

 

[Medusa]

cliquey people ‘seem’ to be followers so when one person responds unfavourably, the others follow suit.

This seems to be especially true in Reddit's case; it's known for being a bit of an echo chamber in that way. I have to confess that I sometimes see a post which has been downvoted and have to resist the (seemingly instinctual) urge to click the down arrow before reading through it properly.

My son and I were talking about this a few months ago and comparing it to the pheromones that African Bees put out which, once they've stung, call others bees to come and sting as well. It feels like that on Reddit at times. I must sting now. It's weird. I have to force myself away from that initial urge and either read the post or move on without voting.

I'm sure this is discussed somewhere in the world of Sociology (heard mentality maybe?).

 

[PeppermintPatty]

This seems to be especially true in Reddit's case; it's known for being a bit of an echo chamber in that way. I have to confess that I sometimes see a post which has been downvoted and have to resist the (seemingly instinctual) urge to click the down arrow before reading through it properly.

My son and I were talking about this a few months ago and comparing it to the pheromones that African Bees put out which, once they've stung, call others bees to come and sting as well. It feels like that on Reddit at times. I must sting now. It's weird. I have to force myself away from that initial urge and either read the post or move on without voting.

I'm sure this is discussed somewhere in the world of Sociology (heard mentality maybe?).

I’ve never been on Reddit but I understand what you mean. Members who have been there the longest create bonds with others and defend their tuff.

I used to think clique mentality was a learned behaviour but now I’m learning towards more instinctual. All pack animals learn this behaviour and probably for good reason.

Survival depended on bonding well with the pack. There’s safety in numbers. The pack hunts together, eats together, sleeps together. Now with the internet, this instinct can turn ugly.

Getting along with the pack secured your place within the pack. The weak ones or ones who didn’t fit in with killed off. You can witness this with pack dogs but humans have the same instinct.
Warning I dive deep into some topics

Oddly enough my husband was telling me a story he’d read online about African Bees but his story was different. He says that scientists trained one bee to figure out a puzzle and in one day the entire colony of bees could also solve the puzzle.

THIS example we’d both heard reminds me of that game ‘telephone.’

 

[Medusa]

I’ve never been on Reddit but I understand what you mean. Members who have been there the longest create bonds with others and defend their tuff.

I used to think clique mentality was a learned behaviour but now I’m learning towards more instinctual. All pack animals learn this behaviour and probably for good reason.

Survival depended on bonding well with the pack. There’s safety in numbers. The pack hunts together, eats together, sleeps together. Now with the internet, this instinct can turn ugly.

Getting along with the pack secured your place within the pack. The weak ones or ones who didn’t fit in with killed off. You can witness this with pack dogs but humans have the same instinct.
Warning I dive deep into some topics

Oddly enough my husband was telling me a story he’d read online about African Bees but his story was different. He says that scientists trained one bee to figure out a puzzle and in one day the entire colony of bees could also solve the puzzle.

THIS example we’d both heard reminds me of that game ‘telephone.’

I've read that a person actually gets a dopamine hit for staying with the group, which makes sense really because there is (or was), literally, safety in numbers. So the brain is rewarded for staying in the "heard," which keeps everyone safe. Or that was the idea; things have changed, but we are not evolving as fast as we are changing our environments.

I would think the African Bee puzzle training (which is really interesting, btw), would be related to the bee dance used to convey where the pollen is?

 

[PeppermintPatty]

I've read that a person actually gets a dopamine hit for staying with the group, which makes sense really because there is (or was), literally, safety in numbers. So the brain is rewarded for staying in the "heard," which keeps everyone safe. Or that was the idea; things have changed, but we are not evolving as fast as we are changing our environments.

I would think the African Bee puzzle training (which is really interesting, btw), would be related to the bee dance used to convey where the pollen is?

Yes indeed. We ARE evolving. I find it somewhat annoying and fascinating at the same time. Then again, we are a part of nature and nature itself IS fascinating.

The African Bee experiment. You mean there was more than one! That’s amazing also. Cool stuff. Thanks for that. It was most interesting.

 

[Medusa]

Yes indeed. We ARE evolving. I find it somewhat annoying and fascinating at the same time. Then again, we are a part of nature and nature itself IS fascinating.

The African Bee experiment. You mean there was more than one! That’s amazing also. Cool stuff. Thanks for that. It was most interesting.

I don't know, I was referring to the dance bees use to lead other bees to pollen maybe relating to the African Bee experiment. It was a guess, really.

We are evolving, but way too slow in relation to the way our culture is changing, well, global culture. Well, mostly -- okay first world culture. Um... LOL

 

[PeppermintPatty]

I don't know, I was referring to the dance bees use to lead other bees to pollen maybe relating to the African Bee experiment. It was a guess, really.

We are evolving, but way too slow in relation to the way our culture is changing, well, global culture. Well, mostly -- okay first world culture. Um... LOL

A good guess. I wasn’t told what the puzzle was but you are probably right.

I’ve got to agree with you about us evolving. Sure we are evolving ( yay ) but technology is advancing faster than our moral compass can handle. The world is changing at a faster rate than mankind can handle in my opinion and YES on this side of the planet. This in itself is causing problems we never could have imagined. 911 being a good example.

 

[sch404]

I would say they are just jealous! Keep being happy the way you want!