Confrontation with close friends or family

I have always avoided confrontation. I think as a child it was basically due to an inferiority complex. Wince then, well you have to pick your battles and there aren't many to fight over--if it doesn't matter in 5 minutes or in a year, then just let it go.
 

Confronting vs addressing -

Britannica Dictionary definition of CONFRONTATION: a situation in which people, groups, etc., fight, oppose, or challenge each other in an angry way. > https://www.britannica.com/dictionary/confrontation

Britannica Dictionary definition of ADDRESS: to give attention to (something): to deal with (a matter, issue, problem, etc.). > https://www.britannica.com/dictionary/address

It's about communication, not simply a matter of telling someone off (confronting). If you want to put up with whatever they're doing to you, then say nothing and let it continue to bother you. You must speak up if you want them to change their attitude toward you. You don't have to fly off the handle and lose your cool. It's not necessary to be angry or shout, but it is necessary to calmly and honestly communicate your feelings (addressing). They may not change their behavior, but at least they'll be aware of your feelings. If they don't alter their actions, then you know they don't care about your feelings.

It is up to the individual to decide how to deal with whatever is upsetting them about how their family and friends treat them. I'd rather address the issue because I don't appreciate being mistreated.

Bella ✌️
 

Beezer said:
I have a close buddy.

I visit regularly. We play darts, Scrabble...play music and shoot the breeze. I scored two light beers out of his fridge on Friday night to bring home because I didn't want to drink too much and drive. I purchased the last two cases of beer for his household...then he bought one case.

Then he starts busting my balls about costing him money and ragging me about taking the two beverages. I just moved and downsized my old place. I gave him a brand new wallet...a battery-operated magnifying glass for his poor near vision...bought a dart board for his living room...gave him a slow cooker appliance...lent him my shovel...gave him my stand-up freezer. I also drive him to the Pharmacy for his medication periodically.

And this is the way he behaves? Pretty petty stuff! So I decided I'd take a few nights off from visiting him. I didn't confront him about this, but I'm giving the cool response because I'm so miffed.

I know...I know...an argument over beer consumption. You know you're a redneck when.... :LOL:
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This is a long term friend right!

Did you notice you "gave" him stuff. Then "took" something, that something being two beers from him.

Giving & taking are two distinctly different actions. Not knowing either of you, is it possible being friends you misinterpret his ragging on you as his way of being funny. The busting your balls comment has me thinking that is what took place [ trying for humor] since ball busting for me was always done in jest.

I'm more laid back & don't concern myself with the petty stuff. For me I'd probably bring a 6 pack next time then bust his balls by telling him now you owe me 4 beers.
 
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Some folks you can have an intelligent conversation with, but they seem to be fewer, and further apart. Those of my family who remain other than my son I've pretty much given up on, I just don't need the stress. When I was younger I would jump in with both feet, and occasionally both fists. Now I will generally just walk away.
 
Whether with friends, family acquaintances, or at work, when discussing or debating, learn and develop a habit of not doing so EMOTIONALLY. If something does raise one's emotions, allow such to settle down before calmly responding. Especially one's facial expressions and tone of voice as such non-verbal communication is readily picked up subconsciously by others. If the other person continues to be emotional after relating one's position, refuse to continue a discussion regardless of how the other person baits one to. In other words, don't play in their sand box.
 
charry said:
You can only take so much patty !
I have nothing to do with my 4 siblings !!
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And that's OK. Though knowing that's what needed to be done is not easy. I'm very low contact with my brother, I plan no contact in the future. Not fully his fault. But he became an abuser from the abuse we endured.
 
I also don’t like confrontation. My 2 siblings are older and bullied me for years. At 50 I stood up to them. My brother and I no longer speak and my sister and I only keep in touch by email. If I go to my hometown to visit friends I will see her for an afternoon.
 
Remy said:
And that's OK. Though knowing that's what needed to be done is not easy. I'm very low contact with my brother, I plan no contact in the future. Not fully his fault. But he became an abuser from the abuse we endured.
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Sorry to hear this remy 🤗🤗
 

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