Daughter Thinks I’d Like Senior Home Living

Jules

Jules

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When driving past a Seniors’ Home, my daughter commented that she thinks I’d enjoy living in something like those. At some point my husband will need specialized care and she knows I refuse to keep this house. She said I’m social and they’d do all the work and make meals; she thinks I’d love it.

She’s in her mid 40s. Obviously, she and her sister have no idea what these places are like. There may come a point she may be advising or helping make decisions for me. It really startled me how naive they are.
 

People have strange ideas of what someone might like. I was strolling with an acquaintance one day. She pointed to a cute cottage with small windows, and said that would be the perfect house for me. Not!

Make your preferences known, to all who might be concerned.
 

Lady said:
@Jules , I think you need to let your Daughter know what your feelings are , I would hate to be in a home whether it be a care home or nursing home . I think one losers their independence once you give up your own home .
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I told her ‘no bloody way’. Considering she’s in her mid 40s, she’s probably representative of how many that age think, because they’ve never really thought about it.
 
OK, here is my story, I had reached a point after Rick died I was no longer able to do a lot of the outdoor work at home..snow removal, lawn care etc, I was talking with my niece and she suggested a Senior apartment building. Rent controlled, based on income. All tenants over 62, I am independant here, there is a laundry room, and building maintanence does lawn care and plowing of parking lot. Do you think this would be of interest to you?
 
Marie5656 said:
OK, here is my story, I had reached a point after Rick died I was no longer able to do a lot of the outdoor work at home..snow removal, lawn care etc, I was talking with my niece and she suggested a Senior apartment building. Rent controlled, based on income. All tenants over 62, I am independant here, there is a laundry room, and building maintanence does lawn care and plowing of parking lot. Do you think this would be of interest to you?
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My parents were happy in a Senior's apartment building. Mom made nice friends and took part in the social rooms. It was independent living .. far different from a Senior's Home.

Marie, it sounds as though you are very happy where you are 🤗
 
So, Jules, do YOU know what they are like? Have you visited any? Do you have friends who live there? They may NOT be what you think!! My parents were in an Erickson Community - Independent Living. It was like living on a cruise ship and they loved it! I loved it! We're on a wait list now for such a place. It isn't jail. It is close enough to our town that I will be able to continue with all my groups and friends for a long time. It is equally as close to all our Doctors as well.

My DH has Parkinsons so I know he will eventually need more help than I can give. Our sons live far away and we don't want them to worry about us either. That dinner in the dining room every evening is beginning to sound better and better - no prep, no cooking, no clean up - bring it on!! We have toured a number of places and they are VERY nice and prices vary a lot. The social aspect it something that kept my father active and alive until 95!! Of course, it is not for everyone BUT don't dismiss it without a good hard look. I, for one, am really looking forward to easier "condo living" in the near future.
 
My ex wife's grandmother moved into a senior complex after her husband died and loved it there. I was truly surprised how nice it was, it was a lot like a fancy hotel, nothing like the nursing home my grandmother had been in. I believe the residents lived as independently as they wanted yet had the option of care services and social activities.
 
Jules said:
When driving past a Seniors’ Home, my daughter commented that she thinks I’d enjoy living in something like those. At some point my husband will need specialized care and she knows I refuse to keep this house. She said I’m social and they’d do all the work and make meals; she thinks I’d love it.

She’s in her mid 40s. Obviously, she and her sister have no idea what these places are like. There may come a point she may be advising or helping make decisions for me. It really startled me how naive they are.
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Those places are all different, from very basic through to pretty luxurious. I would recommend visiting a few to get a better understanding of what they are actually like. I have visited at least two that look pretty attractive, and I know that my wife would enjoy that lifestyle and all the amenities. I have also visited two that I would definitely not want to live in.
 
Sadly……I have no family…..so the decision of moving to a 55 plus complex…..Age in Place, is totally my own decision.
Thought long and hard, and I know this is the right place for me.
Having no one pushing me into somewhere I don’t want to be is a plus.
Like many of you have said…..the younger ones, look from a far, and possibly without research, think that’s the place for their elderly family.
The younger generation will get there in the future…..see what they think then.
 
I don't have anyone who would concern themselves with such decisions. Oh wait ... a relative is listed as an emergency contact, so I guess she could. But if I'm that far gone, I wouldn't have a lot of choices anyway.

Maybe I should switch my rental payments to automatic withdrawal, in case I'm ever incapable on rent day.
 
Jules said:
I wasn’t writing this thread only about myself. I was wondering if others knew what their families thought they wanted. No, I didn’t say that clearly in the OP.
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Jules, I think I get it. My niece kind of knew I wanted to downsize out of the house...as outside tasks were harder for me. She kind of planted the seed to move out....but understood that the main decision was mine, we talked over my options, and I was not against a move back here to my home town, She helped me explore my options and it happened this building had some openings. So, here I am
 
Jules said:
When driving past a Seniors’ Home, my daughter commented that she thinks I’d enjoy living in something like those. At some point my husband will need specialized care and she knows I refuse to keep this house. She said I’m social and they’d do all the work and make meals; she thinks I’d love it.

She’s in her mid 40s. Obviously, she and her sister have no idea what these places are like. There may come a point she may be advising or helping make decisions for me. It really startled me how naive they are.
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Jules, I expect your daughter was trying to raise the subject to see what to expect in the future. I have considered several places but only one is a place I have thinking about seriously. I haven't mentioned this to any of my children yet. I like the idea of deciding this for myself and then telling them. :)
 
Have you actually had a tour of one of those facilities? I spent one summer about 5 years ago going around to all that were a reasonable distance from me. Some were very nice, lots of amenities, but pricey, some up to $6000 a month. Some were bare bones - no amenities and you got a small room, just enough room for a bed and a dresser and still these ran around $2000 a month.
 
Jules said:
I told her ‘no bloody way’. Considering she’s in her mid 40s, she’s probably representative of how many that age think, because they’ve never really thought about it.
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My daughter whose the same age as yours Jules.. says the same thing to me. She passes it off as a joke but I feel she's very serious, and if the time came where I needed some help, I do believe she would really push for that type of care ..
 
Jules said:
I told her ‘no bloody way’. Considering she’s in her mid 40s, she’s probably representative of how many that age think, because they’ve never really thought about it.
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Yeah, there seems to be an assumption among younger people that the US government takes care of its senior citizens. (affordable "senior living centers" are partially funded by state and/or federal programs)
 
Marie5656 said:
OK, here is my story, I had reached a point after Rick died I was no longer able to do a lot of the outdoor work at home..snow removal, lawn care etc, I was talking with my niece and she suggested a Senior apartment building. Rent controlled, based on income. All tenants over 62, I am independant here, there is a laundry room, and building maintanence does lawn care and plowing of parking lot. Do you think this would be of interest to you?
Click to expand...
Yes. I think there will come a time when I won't want to be concerned with maintenance and would like company nearby.
It would depend on the particular place of course.
 
NorthernLight said:
Maybe I should switch my rental payments to automatic withdrawal, in case I'm ever incapable on rent day.
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I set up automatic rent payment withdrawals from my bank last year with my Management Office.
They gave me a couple options, and this was the only one where they didn't collect fees of any sort.

It's been going smoothly, and really saves me time and effort. Less to think about.
I always get an email notice when they go into my account and take the money.
 

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