Not that anyone is asking

Murrmurr said:
If CPS's performance so far is anything to judge by, that manhunt may have started about the time Pax graduated high school.
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Paxton's vindictive mother would have contacted the police and they have all number of ways and means.

When I was young I heard the saying, "It's not what you do that you regret at the end of your life, it's the things you didn't do." I took that to heart and for me it was the very worst thing to have in my head.

It influenced my decision to elope at 19 and later to divorce too suddenly. I regret the things I did.

The reason you hesitated to run off with Paxton is that you are a mature, thoughtful, reasonable person. Paxton's mother is just the opposite, She has made life miserable for herself and others with rash decisions and poor impulse control. Never regret those decisions that came from being the good person you are.
 

Pepper said:
Paxton won't care about living in Lodi. Kids don't care about these things. He cares about you. People are more important than place to kids. Just hope his school is 'good.'
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True .. we lived in underprivileged areas, and came out the other end, okay. However, there weren't the issues in schools back then, that there are today. It does depend on how 'good' the schools are, as Pepper says.

Frank, you are a deeply passionate man, so I understand all your concerns. Hopefully, this adoption will
turn out to be what is best for all 3 of the kids. Since the couple have raised a 12 yr. old, hopefully, they
will be able to cope with Paxton and the twins. I just hope Paxton gets his share of attention.
 

Pepper said:
Paxton won't care about living in Lodi. Kids don't care about these things. He cares about you. People are more important than place to kids. Just hope his school is 'good.'
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That's a good point. I lived on a dairy all through school, and when I was about 9 all us farm kids were bused to a school in the city....for some reason. Probably because none of our classmates were Black and the school only had about 90 students in total. Or maybe all the teachers retired. They were all old ladies and 2 old men.

Believe it or not, one of my teachers was Mrs. Crabtree. I had her for two years. She was like 90. Then there was Miss McGillicuddy, who I guess never married in all her possibly 100 years, ol' Mr Rangler, who was kinda bent at the waist, and Mrs Colon, who happened to smell very nice. It was a great school. Best I ever attended. We pledged allegiance every morning, learned the 3 Rs and some science, too. It was a very academic school. Did you know the treponema pallidum bacteria that causes syphilis likely jumped to humans from sheep?

I digress. I was given a hard time at city school (at first) for being a farm boy and only owning 1 pair of shoes. I put an end to all that by beating the crap out of some of the boys and also attracting the attention of their little ladies. Anyway, once that status was established, I made a lot of friends. I was never the "cool kid" because, for one, clothes make the cool kid cool, and Frankie don't play dat. It was 5 shirts, 3 pairs of pants and 1 pair of shoes for the whole school term, and that's what Frankie was cool with. Because I loved and respected my parents.

I think I'm digressing again. ...Oh yeah; Paxton is good at making friends, so he's got that going for him. And he loves having fun, so there's that, too. But he's ultra-sensitive to aggression and also to criticism, and it doesn't take much to trigger his explosive anger. And, again, that kind of veers away from your point. Obviously, I'm thinking while I write.

You make a good point, Peps. And I'll help him through any rough patches in case Brandon doesn't know how. I know nothing about the guy's life experiences.
 
Della said:
Paxton's vindictive mother would have contacted the police and they have all number of ways and means.

...

The reason you hesitated to run off with Paxton is that you are a mature, thoughtful, reasonable person. Paxton's mother is just the opposite, She has made life miserable for herself and others with rash decisions and poor impulse control. Never regret those decisions that came from being the good person you are.
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She would have, absolutely, and for her own narcissistic reasons, not for Paxton's sake.

Resisting abducting Paxton was one of the hardest thing I've ever done. But even harder was loading him all bruised and scratched and begging "Unko Fwank, no!" onto the bus to his mom's house where he was going to get more abuse, and not stopping it. His pleading, his expression, his arms reaching for me, and me pulling my shirt out of his little clenched fists - those memories are seared onto my brain. They may as well been put there with a red-hot branding iron.

So, what did it do to him? Not nothing, surely.

His mother is paying for her crimes every day and she doesn't even know it. I hope she recognizes it one day, and I hope it kills her inside. That's what she's done to Paxton; killed his spirit and the person he could have been.
 
Pinky said:
True .. we lived in underprivileged areas, and came out the other end, okay. However, there weren't the issues in schools back then, that there are today. It does depend on how 'good' the schools are, as Pepper says.

Frank, you are a deeply passionate man, so I understand all your concerns. Hopefully, this adoption will
turn out to be what is best for all 3 of the kids. Since the couple have raised a 12 yr. old, hopefully, they
will be able to cope with Paxton and the twins. I just hope Paxton gets his share of attention.
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I'd like to meet their daughter. I'd like to get an idea of what kind of big sister she'll be. At around age 12, some girls want to be moms, some want to be famous movie stars....or, these days, viral YouTube influencers.

I want to know which side of the fence she falls on.
 
Murrmurr said:
It turned out pretty cool! ..."dying" my hair with food color.

Paxton chose neon pink and ultra-blue, and he painted it on with a paintbrush in a random pattern of stripes and dots.

It washed out a lot faster than I thought it would. Took only two shampoos.
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Wish you'd posted a photo :)
 
Murrmurr said:
I'd like to meet their daughter. I'd like to get an idea of what kind of big sister she'll be. At around age 12, some girls want to be moms, some want to be famous movie stars....or, these days, viral YouTube influencers.

I want to know which side of the fence she falls on.
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Some 12 yr. old girls are quite mature these days. Hopefully, she's the nurturing type. I was a nurturer at
that age .. my brother is 7 yrs. younger than me, so, I had a lot of practice.
 
Pinky said:
Some 12 yr. old girls are quite mature these days. Hopefully, she's the nurturing type. I was a nurturer at
that age .. my brother is 7 yrs. younger than me, so, I had a lot of practice.
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That's what I'm hoping for. If she is a "little mama" then all the kids will get the attention they deserve. And if she's particularly fond of either the twins or Paxton, then she'll likely give more care and attention to her favorite(s) which will give her mother more time for the less favorite(s).

I'm sure you know what I mean. It would be a good thing.
 
When my daughter was a toddler, teenagers seemed to be attracted to her in droves. I think that most teens tend to be quite tolerant of younger children.

I'm sure the couple who are adopting, would have had a good long conversation with their daughter, as to
what can be expected.
 
We had a great time with Paxton and the twins. The twins are all in on this Uncle Frank & Auntie Meesh business. Mel and Tony said they ask to come here almost every day now. But they know Paxton's the main man around here, and they're fine with it. Paxton has big-brother status here, something he never got when he lived with his mother - in fact, his status was Whipping Boy - so it's great the twins totally accept it.

I actually heard and saw Pax's younger brother ask him if he could see his crescent wrench, and ask him what it was for (we were working on a cat shelter and Paxton has his own tools). This was huge. Always before, the brother would just grab Paxton's stuff away from him, or run straight for Paxton's favorite things just to grab them before Paxton could.

Anyway, we had a great time, but while they were here, their grandma, Jackie, was at their mother's trial.

Here's what happened there....

Tara's charged with child abuse, exposing minors (the twins) to abuse of a minor, indirect child endagerment, and violating a contact order. That charge is because the security camera shows Tara letting her friend's 15yr-old daughter abuse Paxton (emotionally and physically), and not only did she not stop the girl, she laughed about it. And then she joined in.

Anyway, Jackie came over here after yesterday's trial and she said Amador County presented a weak case. They didn't even have an attorney. An admin supervisor from the county's social services acted as CPS's legal representative, and Jackie said it was frustratingly apparent this lady didn't know anything at all about the case. It's like, she read the summery...maybe.

Paxton's father was there because Tara requested him as a witness to testify on her behalf. So he's there wearing an orange jumpsuit with "So-and-So County Jail" in bold black letters across the back, white jail clogs, and silver handcuffs. He'd told Tara he'd give a glowing testimony about her stellar parenting...but then he heard the recording.

The county admin lady played Jackie's home security recording in court. This was the first time Paxton's father ever heard it. Jackie watched his face while it played. She said his face turned beet red, and his eyes watered. He kept fidgeting in his chair, and sometimes rocked and shook his head. She said you could actually feel this guy wanting to spring out of the witness box and strangle their mother.

When he took the stand, according to Jackie, he said "I might not have much credibility sitting here in my orange jumpsuit and a pair of handcuffs, but I just took an oath to answer every question honestly, and I'm going to." And then he glared at Tara and said, "These are my kids, and I'm not going to sit here and lie to protect their mother."

And he didn't.
 
Great to hear that Paxton is getting the respect that he deserves from his sibling.

I hope Pax's father is able to turn himself around while he's in jail. It sounds like he has been a fairly decent guy when it comes to the children. Correct me if I'm wrong.

CPS don't seem to know their arse from a hole in the ground .. what the ****!
 
Pinky said:
Great to hear that Paxton is getting the respect that he deserves from his sibling.

I hope Pax's father is able to turn himself around while he's in jail. It sounds like he has been a fairly decent guy when it comes to the children. Correct me if I'm wrong.

CPS don't seem to know their arse from a hole in the ground .. what the ****!
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Cole is a good guy who adopted some bad habits and made some really bad decisions. He's in jail for unarmed robbery of several liquor stores. He did this to get enough money to fix Paxton's mother's van. So, good intentions, shitty solutions...that's Cole.

On a couple calls from jail, he's told me he's turning his life around; completed rehab, is taking a job-training course, goes to his therapist regularly and takes his medications (the jail psychiatrist diagnosed Cole with bipolar disorder).

Plus, Jackie also gave CPS several home-security recordings of Cole alone with his kids that show he's kind and loving toward them, appropriately answers every question they ask, the silly and the serious, and disciplines them appropriately as well. These recordings are from when he had visitation with the kids at her house 3X a week.

And it's what I've witnessed myself. I've seen him with his kids many times. He has effed-up his life but I do hope he wakes up because he's actually kind of a sweet guy, and I know for a fact he's a gentle parent. He just does some incredibly stupid stuff. Maybe that's because of his mental illness, idk.

They also show Tara showing up, which proves the charge of violating a no-contact order.
 
Murrmurr said:
When he took the stand, according to Jackie, he said "I might not have much credibility sitting here in my orange jumpsuit and a pair of handcuffs, but I just took an oath to answer every question honestly, and I'm going to." And then he glared at Tara and said, "These are my kids, and I'm not going to sit here and lie to protect their mother."

And he didn't.
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Good. Thank goodness for the video that shows what’s been going on.

Please don’t pass judgement yet on the family who are ready to love Paxton and the twins. You’re only harming yourself with stress right now.
 
Pinky said:
I'm glad that Tara has been found out, and is getting her due punishment. I hope she never has another child to mess up.
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I wish the judge was allowed to file a court-ordered sterilization.

Jackie went to the trial, and she said Tara (and just a reminder; Tara's her daughter) would roll her eyes and do these loud tongue-clicks and crap while that recording played, and she'd smirk and chuckle and stuff during people's testimony, and the judge scolded her for it..."I will not tolerate that behavior in my courtroom!"

So you know that judge (a woman, btw) is taking in people's body language, and that includes Cole's. So she had to have seen Cole steaming up and shooting daggers at Tara while that recording played.

That somewhat makes up for CPS's total lack of preparation for this trial. It sort of fills in some gaps, you know?
 
The top shelf in the refrigerator only gives you about 6 inches of height, so that's where we put sort of flat stuff like sandwich meats and cheese, cartons of eggs, and short containers of leftovers. The second shelf is for, always from left-to-right, milk, iced tea, and juices, and the bottom shelf is for fresh veggies and taller containers of leftovers. Bottles, jars, and cubes of butter go in the little shelves and cubbies in the refrigerator door, most-used items on the top one, and on down to the least used on the bottom one.

Not in my sister's world.

Also in Bonnie's world, kitchen drawers and cabinets stay handily open at all times, dishes and cookware do not need rinsing after use, table tops are storage areas for various miscellaneous items with nothing in common, and garbage and recyclables have no distinguishing characteristics.

She's starting to drive me a little batty.
 
Murrmurr said:
The top shelf in the refrigerator only gives you about 6 inches of height, so that's where we put sort of flat stuff like sandwich meats and cheese, cartons of eggs, and short containers of leftovers. The second shelf is for, always from left-to-right, milk, iced tea, and juices, and the bottom shelf is for fresh veggies and taller containers of leftovers. Bottles, jars, and cubes of butter go in the little shelves and cubbies in the refrigerator door, most-used items on the top one, and on down to the least used on the bottom one.

Not in my sister's world.

Also in Bonnie's world, kitchen drawers and cabinets stay handily open at all times, dishes and cookware do not need rinsing after use, table tops are storage areas for various miscellaneous items with nothing in common, and garbage and recyclables have no distinguishing characteristics.

She's starting to drive me a little batty.
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Maybe time for a few reminders .. that would definitely annoy me!
 
We'll have Paxton and the twins all day next Thursday. We're gonna do Easter stuff. Bonnie and Meesh are all excited.

So excited I'm a little surprised they aren't weaving baskets. They went and bought an egg dying kit, 2 doz eggs, tiny fuzzy chicks, marshmallow peeps, a centerpiece thingy for the table, and a pre-decorated Easter Tree.

I have an Easter Tree :( . Me and Paxton made it out of a twiggy little tree branchlet a few years ago. It's in a box in the storage room, along with the hollowed out eggshells that we painted and hung on it.

So, we'll have 2 Easter Trees. But ours is better. :giggle:
 

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