No more Ma’am and Sir

Ronni

Ronni

Well-known Member
Location
Nashville TN
221969FE-C509-48BD-9F31-8909151778BB.jpegThis. This made me cry. This is profound.

I have been struggling to modify my language to be more respectful and accepting of gender. The days of “yes sir/thank you ma’am” are gone, for me. I have likely insulted some folks, however unintentionally, in my efforts to be polite.

No more. I will just use “love” from now on. Thank you love. You’re welcome love. Love..it covers everyone with a warm blanket of acceptance. Perfect. ❤️
 

It can come as quite a shock, the first time you hear it. You know you are older but you really know it when a young person says it to your face! Yes Virginia, I am a Ma'am now (LOL) and am pleased to see our younger generation being respectful to their elders, that they were raised well.
 
I’ve been called “Honey” or “Sweetie” by waitresses. I find it mildly irritating, but shrug it off, preferring those terms to myself and my dinner companion being referred to as “you guys,” as in “What can I get you guys?”
 
Fyrefox said:
I’ve been called “Honey” or “Sweetie” by waitresses. I find it mildly irritating, but shrug it off, preferring those terms to myself and my dinner companion being referred to as “you guys,” as in “What can I get you guys?”
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And every "health professional" in the business here, in a high little voice they wouldn't use on a friend or family member over the age of 6. It's demeaning.
 
Ronni said:
View attachment 279548This. This made me cry. This is profound.

I have been struggling to modify my language to be more respectful and accepting of gender. The days of “yes sir/thank you ma’am” are gone, for me. I have likely insulted some folks, however unintentionally, in my efforts to be polite.

No more. I will just use “love” from now on. Thank you love. You’re welcome love. Love..it covers everyone with a warm blanket of acceptance. Perfect. ❤️
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Love, Hen, Pet etc.. are considered terms of endearment here. I'm sure there are words for anyone who takes offence.
 
Couple points because it apparently wasn’t clear from my original post

Relinquishing the use of sir and ma’am is my attempt to be respectful of the gender of the person I’m speaking to. I have on several occasions been corrected, and it was uncomfortable for both of us.

I’ve been using endearments all my life, and it’s gotten more frequent as I’ve aged. I am well aware that because I’m a senior female their use is inoffensive to most folks

At this point I’m more comfortable using an endearment than I am sir or ma’am. Clearly others’ mileage varies and that’s fine. This is just about me and my comfort level.
 
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"Sir "and "Maam" are not on the thrash heap of ancient languages, they are perfectly used every day words today. Somehow, I don't think a judge is going to use "Love" when sentencing a felon.

BTW about gender (Sir/Maam), Here in this forum, "Blueberry183" is a what? Male or female? If you want to refer to "Blueberry183" is it him, or her? People aren't too happy if you don't get their correct gender. Personally, I wouldn't mind a gender indicator in the avatar.
 
I've often heard the term ma'am when someone is getting frustrated, defensive, or angry. Example: This happened to me at Hobby Lobby:

Me: "My yarn order was supposed to be in last week and it's still not here. Is there a problem with the order?"
"That item was back ordered, sorry."
Me: "Well, do have any idea when can I expect it?"
"I'm not sure. There's no way to tell".
Me: "Can't you call the warehouse or someone to find out?"
"I'm not allowed to do that."
Me: "Well, what about your manager? Can the manager call?"
"Look, ma'am, we have no control over inventory at the store level. We'll call you when it comes in."

The store clerk was getting frustrated with me and suddenly I was ma'am.

(Normally I wouldn't be pushy like that, but I was in the middle of a crochet project and really needed that yarn! Time sensitive project...blanket for baby shower.)
 
fuzzybuddy said:
"Sir "and "Maam" are not on the thrash heap of ancient languages, they are perfectly used every day words today. Somehow, I don't think a judge is going to use "Love" when sentencing a felon.

BTW about gender (Sir/Maam), Here in this forum, "Blueberry183" is a what? Male or female? If you want to refer to "Blueberry183" is it him, or her? People aren't too happy if you don't get their correct gender. Personally, I wouldn't mind a gender indicator in the avatar.
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Well I’m not a felon or a judge so your comment isn’t responsive to what I’m discussing.

As far as User names here, if I’m not certain of the poster’s gender I do my best to use neutral terms.
 
Lewkat said:
Nothing wrong with Sir or Ma'am. I've used that for my elders since childhood, and was always referred to as Ma'am or Lieutenant as a very young officer in the Air Force.

If anyone is offended by the Sir or Ma'am terms, it's due to their ignorance.
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I respectfully disagree. If I refer to someone as ma’am and they identify as male, then that’s on me.
 
Ronni said:
I respectfully disagree. If I refer to someone as ma’am and they identify as male, then that’s on me.
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That's on you ? .... Ok, it is but .... you are correct @ that moment because ...... the science of anatomy cannot be denied.

If you choose to placate someone for their 'feelings' ? / Stroke their ego ? I suppose that's fine , it's your choice.

I on the other hand , refuse to.
 
Pizza delivery .. a young(er) female , handed me the pizza , I tipped her & said thank you ma'am . I received a very stern look, one of those that goes right through ya , and the reply of .... I'm not a ma'am , but have a nice day.

IMO, that girl is just way to sensitive , and in all honesty ... needs to talk to someone.
 
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