No more Ma’am and Sir

timoc said:
Round here, (the north of England) you will hear people calling each other 'love', or 'chuck', or 'duck' and there is absolutely no offence meant in those words..
Only this morning, the lovely lady from over the road put a cup of tea infront of me and said, "Get this down you, love." I definitely was not offended. 😊
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My family live up north in yorkshire, and often use the term bairn ….hello bairn…..
 

Lavinia said:
The actor in the clip was born in Lancashire and calling everyone 'love' is the norm there, whatever their gender. So don't be fooled into thinking how wonderful he is.....
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Having met him a few times - and on one of those spent a day with him as his photographer for an event - I can assure you - he IS wonderful. My humble opinion of course :D
 
Jules said:
I can’t tell you how much I absolutely detest this patronizing term. It makes me sizzle just thinking about it.
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I personally love it when someone calls me "love." That was almost the norm in the Maritimes in the fifties and sixties, but I was going to say to the original poster: Not everyone will take kindly to you calling them love! Times have changed. Some now find that term too offensive when used by strangers! Which is a shame, in my opinion! But I am also still grappling with the idea that "Ma'am" is now insulting to anyone under eighty! :)
 
oldaunt said:
I agree. Love, Dear, Sweetie, Hon. All of them make me want to slap someone.
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Fyrefox said:
I’ve been called “Honey” or “Sweetie” by waitresses. I find it mildly irritating, but shrug it off, preferring those terms to myself and my dinner companion being referred to as “you guys,” as in “What can I get you guys?”
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This is a bit distressing because I use "Sweetheart" a LOT, particularly when someone has been kind or helpful to me, or especially polite to me. But I mean it literally. I want the person to know that I recognize and appreciate their sweet heart.

No one has slapped me yet. :p
 
I grew up and live in the American South. Using Sir and Ma’am is ingrained in me. I don’t mind being called Hon, Sweetie, etc. truthfully I hardly notice it. I figure life’s too short and one has to pick and choose what to spend offense energy on.

However, a few years ago a young hipster looking woman referred to me in a condescending manner as ‘Dearie’ and I wanted to kick her in the teeth.

So I do understand some people’s feelings on the use of such terms and try to be observant of how I use them.
 
MountainRa said:
I grew up and live in the American South. Using Sir and Ma’am is ingrained in me. I don’t mind being called Hon, Sweetie, etc. truthfully I hardly notice it. I figure life’s too short and one has to pick and choose what to spend offense energy on.

However, a few years ago a young hipster looking woman referred to me in a condescending manner as ‘Dearie’ and I wanted to kick her in the teeth.

So I do understand some people’s feelings on the use of such terms and try to be observant of how I use them.
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As usual it's the attitude that counts. If someone called me "love" or "hon" with a condescending sneer I would hate it too!
 
Ronni said:
The days of “yes sir/thank you ma’am” are gone, for me.
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Not for me, I don't use sir or ma'am often. However, sometimes it just comes out. Wouldn't if I thought it was insulting, but I doubt it often is...

My family moved from Florida to Utah when I was in high school, my first time here, I had always called all my teachers sir or ma'am. However when I started doing it in Utah the English teacher called me aside. He said when he first heard me he thought I was making fun of him, but then with my accent he realized I wasn't. He suggested I stop, and I did, for the most part. Not a tradition here, but a very different reason from yours. Note, back in then much of Florida was culturally southern, not so much today.

We also used to refer to adults by Ms or Mr first name. Mostly just friends of the family, a term of respect. In north Florida some people still called me Mr Rob, always liked it.
Gaer said:
I refuse to cater to the demands of those
with deviant, ignorant, repulsive behavior.
It's my choice not to interact with them.
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A reasonable policy, I think. Who are you talking about?
chic said:
I call everybody "dear" like Tallulah Bankhead called everyone "darling."
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I grew with frequent drives from Florida to Louisiana through Mobile. The Bankhead Tunnel was one of the high points. My mother always told me it was named for Tullulah Bankhead, greatly disappointed to find it was actually named for some uninteresting former Alabama governor or something... Named a pet turtle Tullulah for her, had trouble spelling it though.

Y'all can call me most anything, I'm hard to insult.
 
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RadishRose said:
Hen? I've never heard anyone called this. To me it indicates the female gender.
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Here is one for you then. Have you ever heard of anyone being called "duck". Depending which extended family members I'm with, I might be called duck. The phrase can be heard often in some circles of my part of England.
 
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Gaer said:
@Alligatorob, "Who am I talking about?"

The thread was about respecting gender, right?
deviant genders, trans genders, I don't feel a need to be respectful of them.
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Ok, and I understand that some of those folks can seem deviant to those of us who aren't and are not very familiar with that kind of thing. Honestly it can make me a little uncomfortable.

But I know one person's deviance is another person's normal, so I try not to disrespect anyone.
 
Cheerfully throwing gasoline on the fire: The infamous (now) wolf whistle. I had a prolonged argument with my daughter about it. In the fifties we whistled at every girl we found attractive and she would usually look back and give us a coy smile. I saw nothing wrong with it, which made my daughter wild! She said: "when someone whistled at me in my youth I felt as if I were being attacked!" Do (did) most women feel her way?
 
perChance said:
In a work environment, a man who refers to a woman as love or dear may be accused of ****** harassment.
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I work in an environment where female contract workers might call me love or darling. Women I’ve either never met before or if I have previously met them, I know nothing about them. I really don’t care what these women call me, neither do the men I work with care what those women call them either.

Always thought it interesting how genders can see the same thing so differently. People I work with have their names embroidered on their shirts, me included. I find it easier to call people and refer to them by their names. It’s an amazing concept for some to get their heads around.
 
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Old Salt said:
Cheerfully throwing gasoline on the fire: The infamous (now) wolf whistle. I had a prolonged argument with my daughter about it. In the fifties we whistled at every girl we found attractive and she would usually look back and give us a coy smile. I saw nothing wrong with it, which made my daughter wild! She said: "when someone whistled at me in my youth I felt as if I were being attacked!" Do (did) most women feel her way?
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I certainly did. So demeaning, often accompanied by lip smacking sounds, rude gestures, and ruder comments. Being reduced to a piece of meat is a violation. I can recall walking to work through the construction gauntlet.
 

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