What Is Your Greatest Relationship Deal-breaker?

palides2021 said:
The issue here is that people are unique individuals, and they typically bring a package of good and bad traits. So it's difficult to know right away their strengths and weaknesses, and these come out over time. Given that, we often get sucked into relationships because of a strong trait or appearance we like (attractive face, nice voice, height, etc). Over time, these other "bad" traits that could be a deal breaker may not feel so bad because the strong traits may overpower the weak or bad traits. Does that make sense? So we need to be truthful to ourselves as to how much of a dealbreaker these things are. Can we live with them even though we thought we didn't like that trait? So it's not as straightforward as we originally think.
Click to expand...

It's so true that it takes time for the "best foot forward" phase to dissipate before you can really get to know someone. If they're trying to maintain a facade, sooner or later, that's going to crack, and you're going to see what's beneath it.

I agree that there are some mild initial deal-breakers I might be able to live with. Depending on what they are and weighed against the good qualities of the person, it's possible that some things can be tolerated. For me, there are absolute deal-breakers, no matter how seemingly kind, good-looking, etc., a potential companion or partner might be.

1: Anger issues, I don't like angry men. If he doesn't have control over himself at this point in life, it ain't gonna happen.

2: Dishonesty, lying, subterfuge, and infidelity. That's a one-way ticket on the Adios Express... 🛤️ 🚂

3: Domineering, controlling, manipulative. You are not my boss. See above.

4: Bad hygiene. Fuggedaboutit. Just no. Ick.

5: Doesn't like animals. Nope.

6: We're not on the same page politically. No, I can't do it.


So, it looks like I'll be spending my old age alone, lol. 🥴

Bella ✌️
 
Sometimes you have got to put yourself outside of yourself. For those who are able to that that is. Then ask yourself, "Would I date someone like me". If you can't be honest with yourself, and there are many people who can't, then you will never get to the next step effectively. The next step being something like, "What Is Your Greatest Relationship Deal-breaker?" It’s not always about the other person. You can be the deal breaker too.
 
My list would be ridiculous and I don't have the looks to carry it.

I'd start with racism and unkindness to others. Doesn't like animals. Mean drunk. Drugs. Unemployed. Entitled jerk. Prison record. Unless you did something totally young and dumb and have truly changed. I could go on and on...
 
Not mentioning names, but 40 odd years ago, a very attractive lady and I were an item...... until one night..... I moved up close behind her in bed to snuggle her in close...... she farted, and I don't mean just a little one.
The air in the room took on a greenish, sticky atmosphere, I had to go out onto the veranda for air and a large single malt, followed by another single malt. I wasn't well for days. 😊
 
Magna-Carta said:
Sometimes you have got to put yourself outside of yourself. For those who are able to that that is. Then ask yourself, "Would I date someone like me". If you can't be honest with yourself, and there are many people who can't, then you will never get to the next step effectively. The next step being something like, "What Is Your Greatest Relationship Deal-breaker?" It’s not always about the other person. You can be the deal breaker too.
Click to expand...
There's only one way to find out.
 
timoc said:
Not mentioning names, but 40 odd years ago, a very attractive lady and I were an item...... until one night..... I moved up close behind her in bed to snuggle her in close...... she farted, and I don't mean just a little one.
The air in the room took on a greenish, sticky atmosphere, I had to go out onto the veranda for air and a large single malt, followed by another single malt. I wasn't well for days. 😊
Click to expand...

I think generally speaking, for the most part perhaps? Most deal breakers cited might be based on personal experiences? The wrong choses perhaps? The world of gastronomy can be a treacherous thing.

As I read through this thread, I’m really starting to get worried for you @timoc . :) Were you dictating what both of you should eat for dinner that night? If was just a thought. :)

If the evening meal was a personal chose, of both of you, then did you think on and consider any evasive action that might be appropriate for later that evening? Again, it was just a thought. Did you sense any warning signs before said incident? Do you think you should at least have sensed something and taken appropriate action in preparation?

Was there an opportunity to have opened the bedroom windows beforehand? Would you both have ever considered putting ear plugs up your nostrils in preparation? Then just think what mutual ‘fun’ you could both have had in bed that evening, as you both look lovingly at each other, with colour coordinated makeshift nostril plugs. Was there any ownership of the situation? :confused:
 
Last edited:
Llynn said:
emotional manipulation and gold digging.
Click to expand...
I think I can sense these - certainly the first one I've had and yes come to think of it the second too but the one I had was very very subtle or maybe I was very very stupid? - god these discussions are getting more and more complex I need my pissed thera again!!
 
Amelia B said:
I’ve heard it said that the British feel that Americans in general lack a sense of irony. That could be true. I struggle with that sometimes.
Click to expand...

Hmm... I don't know, I'm not so sure. Most Americans I’ve met get British irony, including two American girlfriends. Not girlfriends at the same time I hasten to add. That would be a deal breaker in itself.

In some circles in the UK the irony can be quite full on, to the point where people visiting from abroad haven’t got the faintest idea of what is being said or discussed.
 
Medusa said:
That's an excellent question and, being totally honest with myself, as myself... no.
I've have to be someone else with an entirely different personality to date someone like me.

You really made me think with that one. ♥
Click to expand...

Intersting thought. :D
 

You must log in or register to reply here.

Back
Top