Living with depression in your spouse.

Depression is most likely more severe in senior citizens, but I went through severe depression and anxiety attacks in my 40's. It took everything I had just to get up in the morning. I no longer had a sense of humor and was just nervous all the time. I could no longer handle my job. I told my boss I needed time off to cope with it. I used to sleep everyone afternoon hoping I would feel better when I woke up.

My partner was by my side every step of the way. I went to a psychiatrist and went on Lexapro. I've been taking it for 17 years. I also practiced Cognitive Behavioral Therapy and have actually been on vacation where my meds have run out and I've still been fine.

I've had no more issues, but I don't know what I would have done without the support of my partner. That is the true test of a relationship. Unless your husband is completely out of control, please encourage him to continue with therapy and understand that he CAN improve.
 

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fancicoffee13 said:
Well, he sees a psychiatrist and a depression doctor and I go with him, but my main concern is should I stick around to help him? I do look at this with a positive helping attitude. But, as I tell him, you poke the bear long enough, I will bite back. He blames me for a lot, and I just don't know. I have separated once.
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I can't tell you much. Stating that he blames you for a lot is a red flag. It sounds like he has some kind of trauma in his background? He can't blame that on you but they will.
 
My suggestion to combat depression is to play the PC game, Civilization VI. Millions of fictional people die in every game. When you drop your nukes on enemy cities, it creates complete peace. All depression is cured by constant fictional war and mass murders.
 

My husband who I did leave 5 years ago, suffers from depression. He self-medicated with smoking weed. I have to admit it did help him a lot. My friend would give me a couple of buds to hold on to until he needed it. Made a difference at the time but I still left because I could not take the anger and depression any longer and did not want to waste the rest of my life living that way. I don't really have the answer to what you should do because each situation is different. You have to do what is right for you.
 
Warrigal said:
My husband has depression/anxiety for 10 years. He attempted suicide once but didn't have the means to be successful. He saw a psychiatrist, a psychologist and his general practicioner but it lingered, affecting his ability to work. Then, one day it lifted like mist disappearing when the sun rises.

He is still a bit of a misery guts at times but thanks to his medication, he can function. We have since celebrated our 60th wedding anniversary but we are now apart because after a fall he is now in a nursing home.

I have no particular advice for you, @fancicoffee13. You must make your own decisions but do make sure that you do not sacrifice your own health to his illness.
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Thank you. I am sorry for your husband's fall.
 
katlupe said:
My husband who I did leave 5 years ago, suffers from depression. He self-medicated with smoking weed. I have to admit it did help him a lot. My friend would give me a couple of buds to hold on to until he needed it. Made a difference at the time but I still left because I could not take the anger and depression any longer and did not want to waste the rest of my life living that way. I don't really have the answer to what you should do because each situation is different. You have to do what is right for you.
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Well, I am glad to hear that I am not the only one who doesn't want to stick around just for the sake of making the marriage work.
 
fancicoffee13 said:
Well, I am glad to hear that I am not the only one who doesn't want to stick around just for the sake of making the marriage work.
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I have divorced 3 husbands. My second 2 were over 20 years of marriage each. Eventually I just couldn’t be unhappy and sacrifice myself any longer. I now have peace and no stress. Please save yourself. You are worth it!!
 
Teacher Terry said:
I have divorced 3 husbands. My second 2 were over 20 years of marriage each. Eventually I just couldn’t be unhappy and sacrifice myself any longer. I now have peace and no stress. Please save yourself. You are worth it!!
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Well, it looking like it is going down hill. I have reach out for professional help in the way of understanding depression. However, after last night, it sounds like maybe he is giving up. Don't know. Time will tell.
 

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