Husband with depression has become nothing but a "people pleaser".

fancicoffee13

fancicoffee13

Senior Member
Location
Texas
Last night, he said he just wants to please, just tell me what to do, I'll do anything, etc. He also said he just didn't want to go on. I am thinking he is desperate, but we are not that bad off, I thought. But, now I am glad I am going to NAMI this Wednesday, they might be able to clarify things for me. He is a strong minded person, I have witnessed going from one etreme to another.
 

I don't know what NAMI is. I assume some kind of support group? Hubby sounds messed up. Passive aggressive, manipulative, bi-polar, clinical depression. He sounds like he has it all. A full deck of "ME" cards with which to control and torment you and others around him. As I've gotten older I've come to realize that some problems simply cannot be fixed. Certainly not in the short time I have remaining in my mortal existence. In the meantime all of us here on SF empathize with you and wish you the very best. 🌹Steve
 

Oh, This poor man. I don't know what to say except my heart goes out TO YOU!
This has to be even harder on you than it is on him!
Regular deep meditation will help him tremendously but he probably won't do that.
I don't know what NAMI is either. I hope the best for both of you.
So sorry this is happening to you.
 
fancicoffee13 said:
Last night, he said he just wants to please, just tell me what to do, I'll do anything, etc. He also said he just didn't want to go on. I am thinking he is desperate, but we are not that bad off, I thought. But, now I am glad I am going to NAMI this Wednesday, they might be able to clarify things for me. He is a strong minded person, I have witnessed going from one etreme to another.
Click to expand...
It's difficult, isn't it? In a relationship, we take the rough with the smooth and get through most things but, sometimes, no matter how hard we try, it's not enough. Hopefully you will both be fine and your relationship will bring you the happiness which you obviously hope for but, you can't save someone who is not willing to do all that it takes to save themselves. I think that is a conversation which you might consider having with your husband as, I don't think you can really make any informed decisions unless you are sure that your husband is 100% committed. I really hope you will find a way through this together. (y)
 

NAMI, the National Alliance on Mental Illness, is the nation's largest grassroots mental health organization dedicated to building better lives for the millions of Americans affected by mental illness.
Find Your Local NAMI
I am assuming this is the definition
 
Trish said:
It's difficult, isn't it? In a relationship, we take the rough with the smooth and get through most things but, sometimes, no matter how hard we try, it's not enough. Hopefully you will both be fine and your relationship will bring you the happiness which you obviously hope for but, you can't save someone who is not willing to do all that it takes to save themselves. I think that is a conversation which you might consider having with your husband as, I don't think you can really make any informed decisions unless you are sure that your husband is 100% committed. I really hope you will find a way through this together. (y)
Click to expand...
Thank you. I am seeking outside professional help for me. I do know that things eventually work themselves out, whether it is staying married or something else. I keep going forward and check all my options. This board is a wonderful to chat and make friends on.
 
Write to Dr. Phil. Maybe he will get you two on the show and he will be able to give you both some guidance. His real profession is a Life Coach. Sounds like something you both could use.
 
fancicoffee13 said:
Last night, he said he just wants to please, just tell me what to do, I'll do anything, etc. He also said he just didn't want to go on. I am thinking he is desperate, but we are not that bad off, I thought. But, now I am glad I am going to NAMI this Wednesday, they might be able to clarify things for me. He is a strong minded person, I have witnessed going from one etreme to another.
Click to expand...
You mentioned he goes "from one extreme to another." Does he have a manic depressive situation (one minute high - the next, down). If so, I believe there are medications for that. Good luck with your visit to NAMI.
 
palides2021 said:
You mentioned he goes "from one extreme to another." Does he have a manic depressive situation (one minute high - the next, down). If so, I believe there are medications for that. Good luck with your visit to NAMI.
Click to expand...
I do not know what he has. I am at a point I don't care. Well, I care, but not so much anymore. NAMI has helped a lot. I have learned a lot by listening to others who do have depression and I am so glad I don't have it! Thank you.
 
Moon Rat said:
Write to Dr. Phil. Maybe he will get you two on the show and he will be able to give you both some guidance. His real profession is a Life Coach. Sounds like something you both could use.
Click to expand...
No thanks to that, however, I love Dr. Phil. lol
 

You must log in or register to reply here.

Back
Top