Tragedy struck our family.... did my social worker do the right thing?

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Dpeskov

New Member
I am seeing a social worker once a week. Two weeks ago, my ex-wife who is my adult daughter's mother passed away. My social worker was well of aware of this. After years of refusing to speak to a social worker, my daughter finally agreed to come to my next meeting with the social worker to talk to her. My daughter is in deep grief.

I left a message with her office asking if my daughter can come with me to our next meeting. Her answer was she didn't understand why all of a sudden my daughter wanted to meet her, this even though she knew that my daughter's mother passed away about a week and a half before.

She then requested that her office not send her any more messages about this because this was her day off.

Was my social worker's two reactions as stated above appropriate for a mental health professional to express?
 

Obviously we don't know all details from your post. Everyone deserves their days off. If a message was sent to her a more appropriate response would have been for her to request that any further messages be left with the office or who is on call and she would review them when she was back at work. I do find her response about the all of a sudden request kind of odd. Not everyone who works in any kind of social services, mental health or health care are the most put together people. They too can have issues.
 
You might have had a different response if you had called when it was NOT a day off for the social worker.

Lots of unanswered questions here. Why did your daughter wait till the day off to make a request after not getting involved before.

Plus technically you yourself were the client, not your daughter, maybe a two for one deal is not something the social worker wanted to pursue for reasons of conflict of interest or other reasons.

You might suggest to your daughter she find another social worker.
 

@Lee - I doubt the daughter knew the social worker's schedule.

@Dpeskov - I wouldn't give up yet. If I were in your shoes, I'd say something like: "My daughter has finally agreed to come to our next meeting. I hoped you would be open to talking to her as she is deeply grieving and in need of counsel. If you feel you can't be helpful, please refer me to another social worker."
 
Murrmurr said:
@Lee - I doubt the daughter knew the social worker's schedule.

@Dpeskov - I wouldn't give up yet. If I were in your shoes, I'd say something like: "My daughter has finally agreed to come to our next meeting. I hoped you would be open to talking to her as she is deeply grieving and in need of counsel. If you feel you can't be helpful, please refer me to another social worker."
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"If I were in your shoes, I'd say something like: "My daughter has finally agreed to come to our next meeting. I hoped you would be open to talking to her as she is deeply grieving and in need of counsel. If you feel you can't be helpful, please refer me to another social worker."


That is almost EXACTLY what I would say word for word, except I am not sure I want to ever speak to this social worker again.
 
Isn't there a difference between a social worker and a mental health professional? Kind of sounds like more was expected of the social worker than should be.

Frankly I see the social workers point. Your daughters chance of being involved has passed, and the social worker is not a grief counselor. And the social worker did respond at least once, even though it was her day off. She shouldn't be expected to be on duty 24/7.

I'm sorry for what happened and hope your daughter can get the proper support if needed.
 
i have never understood why some people respond to a message and then say they wont respond to more because a day off.....
why not like anyone else not respond at all until after time off.... but responding to one message and drawing a line just frustrates anyone who was trying to leave a message.
 
Jeni said:
i have never understood why some people respond to a message and then say they wont respond to more because a day off.....
why not like anyone else not respond at all until after time off.... but responding to one message and drawing a line just frustrates anyone who was trying to leave a message.
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Jeni when I had a business I would respond just in case it was an emergency and needed immediate attention. Typically it wasn't so I would say we will deal with it when I return to work.
 
I do think the social worker mishandled the situation. Previously wanting to talk to the daughter was to get information of your family life- not to treat her. In view of the obvious emotional trauma to both of you, the social worker should have referred both to a therapist.
 
C50 said:
Isn't there a difference between a social worker and a mental health professional? Kind of sounds like more was expected of the social worker than should be.

Frankly I see the social workers point. Your daughters chance of being involved has passed, and the social worker is not a grief counselor. And the social worker did respond at least once, even though it was her day off. She shouldn't be expected to be on duty 24/7.

I'm sorry for what happened and hope your daughter can get the proper support if needed.
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A social worker's job is to interview the daughter - do an uptake, as they call it - to assess her needs and eligibility, and then refer her to someone who can give her therapy or counseling or whatever fits her needs (if she's eligible).
 
Dpeskov said:
I am seeing a social worker once a week. Two weeks ago, my ex-wife who is my adult daughter's mother passed away. My social worker was well of aware of this. After years of refusing to speak to a social worker, my daughter finally agreed to come to my next meeting with the social worker to talk to her. My daughter is in deep grief.

I left a message with her office asking if my daughter can come with me to our next meeting. Her answer was she didn't understand why all of a sudden my daughter wanted to meet her, this even though she knew that my daughter's mother passed away about a week and a half before.

She then requested that her office not send her any more messages about this because this was her day off.

Was my social worker's two reactions as stated above appropriate for a mental health professional to express?
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Not at all! I’d find a new social worker. If you use them for your mental health that is just not professional. ( by your post )
 

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