My space

[CoffeeLove]

I love to drink coffee. I love to write. I love plants. So - I combined them in my little house for a quiet and still space.

 

[bobcat]

Looks like an inviting place for a morning cup in a tailored workspace. So what do you write about?

 

[CoffeeLove]

Looks like an inviting place for a morning cup in a tailored workspace. So what do you write about?

I have a blog/website - Coffee Love (coffeelovemm.com) (I hope it's ok to share it here.) I am working on writing a book about the love and life that Rick and I shared, and what my life is now as a widow. Thank you for caring enough to ask I appreciate you!

 

[bobcat]

Thanks for sharing C.L. .... I ventured over to your website and blogs for reading. For what it's worth, in my opinion, you have a gift for writing. What I mean by that is that you don't just put words on paper to write about something. It takes a creative skill to capture feelings in what you are compelled to write about. I could feel those feelings, not just because I have experienced the bright spots in the day when the dark clouds give way to sunlight and hope, but also the loneliness of night when that familiar body isn't there anymore.

Then there is also the epic challenge of trying to figure out who we are without that identity as a couple. Who am I? What do I do now? Will I ever heal? Will I find happiness or just moments of it? Is the abyss of emptiness just something I have to learn to live with? So many other thoughts and questions that are like thieves in the night robbing us of the hope for tomorrow.

I think writing can be great therapy, as it provides us an avenue to sort out the dilemmas we face and find some sort of pathway through the maze of missing puzzle pieces that now seem to be our life. My soul echoes your grief and sadness remembering the past life that can never be recovered. All we can do is soldier on and realize that our dearly departed would never want us to drown in that ocean of grief because they couldn't be part of the journey ahead. You may not have the confidence you once had, but I can tell from your writing that you are a formidable person inside, whether you realize it or not.

Take another sip of coffee, summon your battle hardened brain cells up to the front lines, and conquer whatever stands in your way of realizing that the life you carve out for yourself can have meaning, substance, and even sprinkles of joy and achievement. Just allow your thoughts and emotions to infuse and guide your writing that will become a beacon of hope for someone who is experiencing the hearbreak you know so well. If you can touch just one life or rescue one victim, it will all be worth it.

 

[CoffeeLove]

If you can touch just one life or rescue one victim, it will all be worth it.

I am humbled by your words, and the time you gave to look at my website. Thank you.
This last sentence you wrote. You did not know. Words of confirmation. Whispers of my Rick. Thank you.
I needed them more than you know - today.

It is easy to get overwhelmed with this journey of grief. And even easier when I am writing about it, or going thru past writings trying to figure out exactly what to migrate to a book or a blog now.

One month before my husband died, he was laying in the hospital bed.
He opened his arms, scooched over in the bed, and told me to lay down with him.
As I lay there in his arms, he told me of his love.
And he made me promise to continue writing.
He had bought me another website many years before - as a way to keep family and friends aware of where we were, what we were doing (he was a long haul truck driver, and I was his navigator ).
When our health turned, he made me promise to be brutally honest and real - out of my comfort zone.

His words then, and again on that night one month before he died : "Honey, being brutally honest and real in your writings, and in continuing to write, if you can help just ONE person realize that they are not alone, if just ONE person can be lifted up in encouragement, if just ONE person can learn how to deal with their own life struggles and trials - then all of this that we have gone thru and all that you will go thru as my widow, will not be in vain."

Thank you bobcat48 for your words this morning.
Reminding me of why I am doing this.

I am sorry for your loss. Sounds like you understand more than I wish you did. ((( soft and gentle hugs )))

 

[bobcat]

Thank you C.L. No doubt your husband was a perceptive man and saw that gift in you to put feelings into words, images, and perhaps one day, a book. Often times, we underestimate the power of words and their meaning, or who's lives they may change.

I am reminded of a book I read some time back about the Stoics, who were an esteemed group of philosophers that lived over 2000 years ago. They recognized that we tend to go through life thinking that we respond to things and events. But we don't. We go through life responding to our interpretation of those events. If our interpretation is changed, then our response changes, and our reality changes.

I remember the song "Clouds" (I think it was by Joni Mitchel). Anyway the lyrics go:

Rows and flows of angel hair
And ice cream castles in the air
And feather canyons everywhere
I've looked at clouds that way
But now they only block the sun
They rain and snow on everyone
So many things I would've done
But clouds got in my way
I've looked at clouds from both sides now
From up and down, and still somehow
It's cloud illusions, I recall
I really don't know clouds at all

Well, for the longest time I couldn't get the message because it seemed so confusing. But after I read about the stoics revelation, it came flooding back to me and all made sense. Something had changed in her life that made her look at clouds differently. I don't know if it was a divorce, breakup, or the loss of a loved one or whatever, but now those same clouds took on a different meaning. However, the clouds were just an "illusion". What she was really seeing was herself and what she was going through. She didn't know the clouds at all. They were just a reflection.

Anyway, not to ramble on, but I think if we can take the time to re-frame the things that occur in our lives to give meaning, purpose, and direction, then those events become a constructive part of the life we are now thrown into. I'm not trying to make it sound as simple as taking lemons and making lemonade, but I think there is an essence of tragedy that we can learn from and grow if we don't get caught in the rip tide of emotion and dragged out to sea. You perhaps may be that life preserver that gives that struggling someone something to cling to. If you are a survivor, then maybe they can become one also. Think about it.

 

[CoffeeLove]

Thank you C.L. No doubt your husband was a perceptive man and saw that gift in you to put feelings into words, images, and perhaps one day, a book. Often times, we underestimate the power of words and their meaning, or who's lives they may change.

I am reminded of a book I read some time back about the Stoics, who were an esteemed group of philosophers that lived over 2000 years ago. They recognized that we tend to go through life thinking that we respond to things and events. But we don't. We go through life responding to our interpretation of those events. If our interpretation is changed, then our response changes, and our reality changes.

I remember the song "Clouds" (I think it was by Joni Mitchel). Anyway the lyrics go:

Rows and flows of angel hair
And ice cream castles in the air
And feather canyons everywhere
I've looked at clouds that way
But now they only block the sun
They rain and snow on everyone
So many things I would've done
But clouds got in my way
I've looked at clouds from both sides now
From up and down, and still somehow
It's cloud illusions, I recall
I really don't know clouds at all

Well, for the longest time I couldn't get the message because it seemed so confusing. But after I read about the stoics revelation, it came flooding back to me and all made sense. Something had changed in her life that made her look at clouds differently. I don't know if it was a divorce, breakup, or the loss of a loved one or whatever, but now those same clouds took on a different meaning. However, the clouds were just an "illusion". What she was really seeing was herself and what she was going through. She didn't know the clouds at all. They were just a reflection.

Anyway, not to ramble on, but I think if we can take the time to re-frame the things that occur in our lives to give meaning, purpose, and direction, then those events become a constructive part of the life we are now thrown into. I'm not trying to make it sound as simple as taking lemons and making lemonade, but I think there is an essence of tragedy that we can learn from and grow if we don't get caught in the rip tide of emotion and dragged out to sea. You perhaps may be that life preserver that gives that struggling someone something to cling to. If you are a survivor, then maybe they can become one also. Think about it.

Words of wisdom. Thank you for sharing. I needed to hear this today.