Anyone joined a dating site what are your experiences?

hollydolly

hollydolly

SF VIP
Location
London England
I'm considering joining a Senior dating site for over 60's.. ..it's not that I want to find a long term relationship... I would just like to find a casual friend basically... Nowdays there's no going down the pub or to a dance hall and meeting a guy like we did in our youth.. and now o/h's been gone almost 2 years it's time for me to start thinking about having a bit of a life before I get too much older... but I have no experience of dating sites per se.. except for some of the horror stories you read about people meeting weirdos and potential axe murderers...

So.. has anyone joined a dating site.. what were your experiences.. and thoughts..
 

When I started dating again, I tried out a few dating sites with very mixed results. My first meet with a prospective date turned out so badly, I thought about buying a dog for companionship and becoming a hermit.

Finally, I got my nerve back up and ventured back into the fray. I met The Good, The Bad and The Ugly.

You just have to put your boots on and wade in, with a good sense of humor and a healthy dose of caution.
 

I'm sure there's some good ones.
I think its a safe choice these days with the right site. I also think there's more chance of meeting someone compatible and with the same interests.
I'm also sure you'll be ultra cautious throughout the process so we won't need to worry too much. 😉
 
Okay, I'm going to play "concerned lil' sister" here for a second and remind you about the caution that's needed. I think it would be *awesome* if you found a perfect match, but my first thought was that I'm not sure it would be easy to determine whether the person you meet there would also only be interested in "a casual friend." I'll be excited for you if you start this journey and I hope you'd share it with us.

Signed, "Probably Overly-Cautious Kate But Gonna Say It Anyhow."
 
Last edited:
No personal experience, just know others who have successfully and unsuccessfully. Usually it’s just a coffee or a lunch for the first meeting. In a small cafe, we sat beside one of these initial meetings. She wanted to order her lunch and he wanted to keep talking. I think she was starving. Stick with coffee is my advice.
 
Thanks folks... I'm not altogether stupid.. I hope.. I do realise that caution is the watchword.. first meetings away from home in the daytime, and just for a short time, for a coffee and chat.. also don't give out any personal details

I've seen some of these guys on the dating sites.. and some of them would scare me off just looking at them or reading their Bio...

I did a little test ad a few months ago..... I wanted to get a feel for the reactions of various people on those sites.. .. I put a small ad on with Basic details, but my profile photo was just the back of me.. facing away from the camera... there was several genuine enquires.. but I was stunned by the 4 guys who were extremely abusive.. !

Immediately I thought, that those guys would be ones to stay well clear of.. but the innocent women who met up with them wouldn't have any clue about that dark side of those men..

I haven't replied to any of those ads.. it was just a test... and I may not go with that dating site when or if I put a real ad on..... anyway,

... but it just goes to show just how easy it is to be fooled into meeting a psycho..
 
My usual procedure for first-time meets was to meet for coffee at one of two Panera Breads that were adjacent to two city parks.

We'd sit and talk over a coffee or tea. If there was a spark of interest, we'd stroll in the park, sit on a bench, admire the swans.

Still interested? Maybe lunch or dinner at a place near the park.

Even on a second or third date, I'd meet the guy at wherever we'd be dining, etc.

The Spousal Equivalent was the only guy I'd get into his car with on a second date and that was only because I had such a strong intuition about his goodness. Luckily, my sense was reliable.

I dated quite a few guys during that time (my co-workers called me The Dating Queen). One Sunday, I had THREE dates (none of which were keepers).

The good guys are out there but you have to wade through the not-so-good......
 
Check out the websites for online dating. If they want answers to what you deem to be either inappropriate questions or just plain none of their business, move along to another site.

By the time you're ready to meet for coffee, you'll know his name. Vet him! Hunt him down via the web and find out everything you can. Make sure what he's told you matches up with what you learn online.

Meet during the day in a very public place. Don't invite him to your place, and don't go to his. Always drive your own car to meet up.

If your Spidey senses are quivvering, it's because there's something rotten in the State of Denmark, so to speak, not because it's love at first sight.

Ditto if he seems too charming and smooth.

If his profile goes on and on about his dear departed wife or trashes his ex, get uninterested real quick.

If he waxes eloquent about his wonderful children and grandchildren and how he loves to spend a lot of time with them...nix! If he's that invested in them, when's he gonna have time for you? Not to mention, he's gonna expect you to spend time with them, too. Lots of time. Meh.

If he fills up his profile with what he used to do and be, he's looking behind instead of ahead.

Look out for the dopey and trite cr@p: "caring and sharing," that sort of stuff.
 
Gigi... that's great advice.. and stuff like with the talk of grandkids , and exes..etc.. is exactly what would put me off right at the start... I have a highly tuned intuition.. so I rely on that quite a lot.. ..and honestly I cannot stand a man whose a smooth talker.. makes me gag.. so I'd be out of there before the coffee got cold..

@jujube that's a great idea about the park , . I'll keep that in mind...
 
I suppose you could just skip the dating site and go to a singles Meetup group activity (hiking, dinners, dancing, or whatever your interest). That way you're not going to meet anyone specifically, just going as a group that shares your interest. No expectation. If there aren't any possibilities there, at least you get to do something you enjoy, and there is security in numbers.
I think here is a link: Find Events & Groups in United Kingdom (meetup.com)
 
bobcat48 said:
I suppose you could just skip the dating site and go to a singles Meetup group activity (hiking, dinners, dancing, or whatever your interest). That way you're not going to meet anyone specifically, just going as a group that shares your interest. No expectation. If there aren't any possibilities there, at least you get to do something you enjoy, and there is security in numbers.
I think here is a link: Find Events & Groups in United Kingdom (meetup.com)
Click to expand...
Nothing around here like that...this is the drawback of living in the country....
 
Yes meet in a public place the first few times so you can be safe you never know.


On a happier note one of my sisters met her husband they have been married a long while now on match.com I think it was. One of the nicest guys in the world. I realize that may be the exception but I guess if you don't try you never know.I realize your just looking for a "friend" but I am sure there are plenty of those too that you may meet!
 
perplexed said:
Yes meet in a public place the first few times so you can be safe you never know.


On a happier note one of my sisters met her husband they have been married a long while now on match.com I think it was. One of the nicest guys in the world. I realize that may be the exception but I guess if you don't try you never know.I realize your just looking for a "friend" but I am sure there are plenty of those too that you may meet!
Click to expand...
I’ve known several people who met online who have had great relationships
 
I once joined match.com. They had the most active members back in the 2000s. But they were difficult to quit without getting an extra unjustified month's billing.

The online dating thing is a racket. The more you do it, the more you realize it.

They don't allow you to see how few people there are until you've signed up and are automatically billed every month.
 
hollydolly said:
I'm considering joining a Senior dating site for over 60's.. ..it's not that I want to find a long term relationship... I would just like to find a casual friend basically... Nowdays there's no going down the pub or to a dance hall and meeting a guy like we did in our youth.. and now o/h's been gone almost 2 years it's time for me to start thinking about having a bit of a life before I get too much older... but I have no experience of dating sites per se.. except for some of the horror stories you read about people meeting weirdos and potential axe murderers...

So.. has anyone joined a dating site.. what were your experiences.. and thoughts..
Click to expand...
No, I've never joined one.
 
jujube said:
My usual procedure for first-time meets was to meet for coffee at one of two Panera Breads that were adjacent to two city parks.

We'd sit and talk over a coffee or tea. If there was a spark of interest, we'd stroll in the park, sit on a bench, admire the swans.

Still interested? Maybe lunch or dinner at a place near the park.

Even on a second or third date, I'd meet the guy at wherever we'd be dining, etc.

The Spousal Equivalent was the only guy I'd get into his car with on a second date and that was only because I had such a strong intuition about his goodness. Luckily, my sense was reliable.

I dated quite a few guys during that time (my co-workers called me The Dating Queen). One Sunday, I had THREE dates (none of which were keepers).

The good guys are out there but you have to wade through the not-so-good......
Click to expand...
I have a penfriend who lives as an ex-pat in Thailand. When he was coming to Oz. to catchup with his family, he said we could meet for a coffee. He said he could pick me up at my place, but I played it safe because I had never seen him, only in photos. I suggested somewhere in the city, to which he agreed to. It was lovely meeting him and he was the perfect gentleman. After a couple of hours we parted, still friends. We still keep in touch.
 
Some friends have had good success with meeting nice people...my ratio of winners to losers is disproportionately in the loser column.

Keep the conversations on the dating site; if the guy wants your email or wants you to chat on a different message board, that's a big red flag!

I don't know what dating sites you have in the UK... just be aware it's not always the people posting that are unscrupulous. One site I was on then quit started posting a profile of "me" (with different statistics), and I'd get notifications, "So-and-so has viewed your profile" or "So-and-so has left a comment" when it's not even me or any real person!

I hope you meet someone nice, @hollydolly
 
CinnamonSugar said:
Some friends have had good success with meeting nice people...my ratio of winners to losers is disproportionately in the loser column.

Keep the conversations on the dating site; if the guy wants your email or wants you to chat on a different message board, that's a big red flag!

I don't know what dating sites you have in the UK... just be aware it's not always the people posting that are unscrupulous. One site I was on then quit started posting a profile of "me" (with different statistics), and I'd get notifications, "So-and-so has viewed your profile" or "So-and-so has left a comment" when it's not even me or any real person!

I hope you meet someone nice, @hollydolly
Click to expand...
Thanks CS...yes oddly that site that I signed up to with the test AD, also were sending me those same notifications..so and so has left a comment.. etc... but I'd never gone through with the whole registration, hadn't paid any money to be able to reply to those people even if they had left a comment..

Equally the one site I was going to sign up to today insisted on a full face photo.. ok..fair enough.. but they also Insisted on a FULL BODY picture.. why ?.. that was a red flag to me so I've decided not to register with that one..
 
Last edited:
You must log in or register to reply here.

Back
Top