Anniversaries of Deaths and Trauma and of Whatever You Think

Ruthanne

Ruthanne

Caregiver
Location
Midwest
If you would like to past those anniversaries you are most welcome to do it here.

Yesterday was the 3 year anniversary of losing my cherished Alice aka Allison. She was a very kind Parakeet and different than most . If it wasn't for the Pandemic I feel she'd still be here. Love you Allison šŸ˜ Miss you so.

 

This is the thing about grief, it is rarely totally behind us. We learn to cope, deal with it---but we continue to miss those we love. We miss their physical presence in this world, being able to show our love.

If we live long it gets to where we can't flip the calendar page to new month without recalling some loss years ago.that month. Especially for people who have had dogs, cats, birds they love.

Just last night my daughter was saying that worst part of being human isn't dealing with other people's lack of sense & outright selfishness. It is that we outlive our beloved animals.
 

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feywon said:
This is the thing about grief, it is rarely totally behind us. We learn to cope, deal with it---but we continue to miss those we love. We miss their physical presence in this world, being able to show our love.

If we live long it gets to where we can't flip the calendar page to new month without recalling some loss years ago.that month. Especially for people who have had dogs, cats, birds they love.

Just last night my daughter was saying that worst part of being human isn't dealing with other people's lack of sense & outright selfishness. It is that we outlive i beloved animals.
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Thank you. That's so true. It's like there's a prevailing sadness that just goes on. I search for things to make me feel like I'm a part of regular life again. Other times I resort to getting under the covers.

Sometimes those little escapes help, too.
 
For me the worst part of growing old isn't all the aches and pains and medical conditions - it is losing everyone one I love. I still have by 2 older brothers, but my immediate family is now all gone, plus the fur kids of course. Newman and Asher, the Siamese terrors, then, later, Annie the Shih Tzu and Hoot the toy poodle. (Yes we had Hoot 'n Annie) I miss them all. Can't wait to join them.

p.s. I forgot about Sam the miniature Dachshund and Prince the Irish Setter. But that was over 40 years ago...
 
feywon said:
This is the thing about grief, it is rarely totally behind us. We learn to cope, deal with it---but we continue to miss those we love. We miss their physical presence in this world, being able to show our love.

If we live long it gets to where we can't flip the calendar page to new month without recalling some loss years ago.that month. Especially for people who have had dogs, cats, birds they love.

Just last night my daughter was saying that worst part of being human isn't dealing with other people's lack of sense & outright selfishness. It is that we outlive our beloved animals.
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My cat is old and arthritic, just like mom. I hope I outlive him. Who would care for him if I weren't here? I mean spoil him?
 
Buckeye said:
For me the worst part of growing old isn't all the aches and pains and medical conditions - it is losing everyone one I love. I still have by 2 older brothers, but my immediate family is now all gone, plus the fur kids of course. Newman and Asher, the Siamese terrors, then, later, Annie the Shih Tzu and Hoot the toy poodle. (Yes we had Hoot 'n Annie) I miss them all. Can't wait to join them.

p.s. I forgot about Sam the miniature Dachshund and Prince the Irish Setter. But that was over 40 years ago...
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I'm sorry for your losses. Getting older doesn't seem to get any easier does it?
 
Ruthanne said:
I'm sorry for your losses. Getting older doesn't seem to get any easier does it?
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I can empathize.
Mom died in 1985, Dad in 1995. Two of my 3 older sisters have died since i moved to NM in 2012. My best friend from high school died 2 yrs ago.

My beloved 'Boo', whom we adopted as a feral kitten but who became very bonded with me died a few years ago at 18 1/2 yrs old. I miss her still as i do my Pittie mix, Jinks, who died a few yrs ago. I hadn't bonded so tight with a dog since Buffy the 'nanny dog' of my childhood.
 
feywon said:
I can empathize.
Mom died in 1985, Dad in 1995. Two of my 3 older sisters have died since i moved to NM in 2012. My best friend from high school died 2 yrs ago.

My beloved 'Boo', whom we adopted as a feral kitten but who became very bonded with me died a few years ago at 18 1/2 yrs old. I miss her still as i do my Pittie mix, Jinks, who died a few yrs ago. I hadn't bonded so tight with a dog since Buffy the 'nanny dog' of my childhood.
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I can relate a lot. I am lucky I still have 3 brothers and a sister but also lost a sister over 30 years ago. She had just become an adult and then she was gone. I have lots and lots of pets I've lost. They meant so much to me. All the departed did.
 
I had a Marine fall over dead on the obstacle course ar Parris Island on this date in 1985. I thought he was clowning around. I also remember it being 100 degrees that day. We had been on the course for about 3 hours when he dropped over.
 
For better or worse - and it certainly can be both - I don't/can't remember dates. Anniversaries, birthdays, and such... they just don't go into my head long enough to stay there. So essentially, I miss them all. It's not a willful act on my part, it's simply a curse.

I do however very much look forward to tomorrow. So that's something. :)
 
VaughanJB said:
For better or worse - and it certainly can be both - I don't/can't remember dates. Anniversaries, birthdays, and such... they just don't go into my head long enough to stay there. So essentially, I miss them all. It's not a willful act on my part, it's simply a curse.

I do however very much look forward to tomorrow. So that's something. :)
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That's a great thing to look forward to the next day. I hĆ ve days when I am so emotionally spent that looking forward to tomorrow saves me.
 
Ruthanne said:
That's a great thing to look forward to the next day. I hĆ ve days when I am so emotionally spent that looking forward to tomorrow saves me.
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Indeed. It's all transient, isn't it? Very few things in life are immutable to change given time and distance. We fall in love, and out of love. We feel a compulsion for something one day, and don't care the next. Disagreements can be buried over layers of time. Impending doom doesn't come to fruition. Fears are proven groundless. Loneliness is alleviated from a kind word from a stranger.

Anything can happen tomorrow.
 
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