I got mad at a fellow lady senior today.

fancicoffee13

fancicoffee13

Senior Member
Location
Texas
We play cards together on a regular basis at senior centers. Today we were playing at someone's home and while all six of us ladies were at the table she brought up the fact I just got up (at a previous day) and just left. Well we only need 6 ladies to play Samba, a form of Canasta. I stayed for a little bit and then excused myself , I wasn't going to be able to play so I left after saying bye to all the ladies. There were already 6 ladies there, they had already started playing, so I left, no biggy. Why bring this up? Because she jumped on me for leaving, and I just said that there were already enough to play, so no need for me to play. Her problem not mine.
 

fancicoffee13 said:
We play cards together on a regular basis at senior centers. Today we were playing at someone's home and while all six of us ladies were at the table she brought up the fact I just got up (at a previous day) and just left. Well we only need 6 ladies to play Samba, a form of Canasta. I stayed for a little bit and then excused myself , I wasn't going to be able to play so I left after saying bye to all the ladies. There were already 6 ladies there, they had already started playing, so I left, no biggy. Why bring this up? Because she jumped on me for leaving, and I just said that there were already enough to play, so no need for me to play.
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..so in what way did you get mad at her ?:unsure:
 
Your anger affects you alone, let it go, dismiss it. If others even have a clue that your upset, they probably don't care in the least. Jettison the negative emotion and embrace even the small things during the encounter that made you happy. This will add 3.37 years to your most fulfilling life.
 
Could it be you're bothered because you didn't tell her off? Just saying. You're quiet but you did the whole "I shoulda said" thing in your head.

I say the quiet part out loud sometimes and I never feel better afterward. The other person acts like a wounded duck and then I have that to deal with too. You don't need it. Especially after dealing with that gaslighting husband.
 
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fancicoffee13 said:
We play cards together on a regular basis at senior centers. Today we were playing at someone's home and while all six of us ladies were at the table she brought up the fact I just got up (at a previous day) and just left. Well we only need 6 ladies to play Samba, a form of Canasta. I stayed for a little bit and then excused myself , I wasn't going to be able to play so I left after saying bye to all the ladies. There were already 6 ladies there, they had already started playing, so I left, no biggy. Why bring this up? Because she jumped on me for leaving, and I just said that there were already enough to play, so no need for me to play. Her problem not mine.
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I don't blame you for being miffed at her if she acted like you had committed a great faux pas. I would have gone home and mulled it over and apparently lost years of my life expectancy (by those anger-calculations I'm way past my expiration date.)

Next time your group meets for cards I would bring it up . Ask what's-her-name, or the group as a whole, what's expected if there are too many people to make a table. "Are they expected to stay and watch?" Cards are not a spectator sport no matter what ESPN is trying to push.
 
Della said:
I don't blame you for being miffed at her if she acted like you had committed a great faux pas. I would have gone home and mulled it over and apparently lost years of my life expectancy (by those anger-calculations I'm way past my expiration date.)

Next time your group meets for cards I would bring it up . Ask what's-her-name, or the group as a whole, what's expected if there are too many people to make a table. "Are they expected to stay and watch?" Cards are not a spectator sport no matter what ESPN is trying to push.
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Right. I will just ignore her inuendos and just go on. She is just being obnoxious. Thank you
 
fancicoffee13 said:
We play cards together on a regular basis at senior centers. Today we were playing at someone's home and while all six of us ladies were at the table she brought up the fact I just got up (at a previous day) and just left. Well we only need 6 ladies to play Samba, a form of Canasta. I stayed for a little bit and then excused myself , I wasn't going to be able to play so I left after saying bye to all the ladies. There were already 6 ladies there, they had already started playing, so I left, no biggy. Why bring this up? Because she jumped on me for leaving, and I just said that there were already enough to play, so no need for me to play. Her problem not mine.
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One of the things I learned while going to the senior center is that people say the darnedest things! One lady was harping on my painting (it needs more of this and less of that, etc.) and I had become very anxious. After she left, the painting instructor told me that people "start losing their filters" as they age. So, what that meant to me is to not put too much weight on her words.

Given that, it looks like you are an important person to this woman who noticed you left at a previous event. She may have taken it that you were upset for some reason, and brought it up to see what you would say. She may have forgotten the number of people playing (memory loss) and only remembered that you left. If you kept quiet after she made that comment, it may have further aggravated the situation ("she is quiet because she has something to hide"). If you explained that there were six people already playing, and that is the reason you left, it may have helped. Either way, you know best what your relationship is with this person and how to handle it. We are only the spectators.
 
Criticizing someone else's art? I'm getting madder by the minute! There goes another 3 years off my life.

Some people were guests in my house one time, when she started looking at a watercolor on the wall and I told her my father had painted it. It was of a tree that grew on the hill behind their house. In the evening when the sun went down behind the opposite hill, the light would shine under the tree in a beautiful glow.

My guest started saying the painting was all wrong because the sun would have made shadows in such and such a way. I think she was of the third grade school of art where the sun is always at two o'clock position.

I didn't say anything. I'm not as bad tempered in real life, but I was amazed that anyone would criticize someone's art, particularly when it was done by a family member. BTW My father was a professional artist who got thousands for his paintings.
 
Della said:
Criticizing someone else's art? I'm getting madder by the minute! There goes another 3 years off my life.

Some people were guests in my house one time, when she started looking at a watercolor on the wall and I told her my father had painted it. It was of a tree that grew on the hill behind their house. In the evening when the sun went down behind the opposite hill, the light would shine under the tree in a beautiful glow.

My guest started saying the painting was all wrong because the sun would have made shadows in such and such a way. I think she was of the third grade school of art where the sun is always at two o'clock position.

I didn't say anything. I'm not as bad tempered in real life, but I was amazed that anyone would criticize someone's art, particularly when it was done by a family member. BTW My father was a professional artist who got thousands for his paintings.
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Wow! That's amazing that your father was a professional artist!
I think, in my case, the critical woman meant well. The last time she attempted to stop by my desk to have a look at my painting, the instructor came by and stood there next to her as if telling her not to say anything. I thought that was nice of him. She didn't say anything bad. Instead, she started saying how good my painting was. I smiled. I think she was trying to make up for her earlier remarks, lol. I hold no grudges.
 

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