Has a Family member or friend ever stolen from you ?

hollydolly

hollydolly

SF VIP
Location
London England
..if so how did you deal with it ?

I'm reading in the news about a woman who stole the details of her friend's' bank card and spent £6000 over a year on Take-away food..mainly McDonalds... ..before he discovered the loss, and called the police.

The judge sentenced her to a 12 month mental health treatment ... ( I suppose he thought there has to be something mentally wrong for anyone to eat 211 Maccy-Dees).:D


Anyway brevity aside... have you been robbed by a friend or family member ?
 

Minor issue. A few years back when my oldest G-Daughter was married to her 'loser' husband, we had given our g-children (7) a $50 bill each for Xmas. One came up missing, I suspected the 'loser' but made good on an additional $50 bill for the 11 YO g-daughter. The 1st G-Daughter finally dumped his a** & I still believe that he had pocketed the bill. What type of person would steal a gift on Xmas morning from an 11 YO?
 
Last edited:
DebraMae said:
I had a few minor things, (liquor, an antique bottle, a special knife) disappear from the cabin back in the days before I lived here. We had given keys to a few relatives and a friend.
Click to expand...
the thing is, these people knew that it would be clear to you that one of them stole these things.. or maybe several people stole an item each...
 
Last edited:
Depends what "robbed" might cover.

I had a close friend from earliest school years. When we were in our late 20s, I had a good income for a while and he was in tight circumstances. He asked if he could borrow $500, which he'd repay within six months. I didn't want to charge any "interest". Well, he disappeared. Some years later, I heard he'd gone to Puerto Rico (he had no ethnic connection with that place)! I thought WTF? I regarded the money as simply gone.

30+ years later, the guy had gotten an email address for me from a mutual friend. He was now living in Northern California, and he felt bad about defaulting. He wanted to repay. I went to an online site that calculates inflation, and the then-current value of my loan to him was more than 250% of the original sum.

I appreciated that his conscience was guiding him. I didn't feel like stinging him. I told my old friend that I could really use a MIG welder, and that a good one could be obtained from a source local to me for about $1000. He ordered it, paid for it by credit card, and all I needed to do was drive to the store and pick it up. I forgave him, thanked him, and we were both happy the situation got resolved.
 
JBR said:
Depends what "robbed" might cover.

I had a close friend from earliest school years. When we were in our late 20s, I had a good income for a while and he was in tight circumstances. He asked if he could borrow $500, which he'd repay within six months. I didn't want to charge any "interest". Well, he disappeared. Some years later, I heard he'd gone to Puerto Rico (he had no ethnic connection with that place)! I thought WTF? I regarded the money as simply gone.

30+ years later, the guy had gotten an email address for me from a mutual friend. He was now living in Northern California, and he felt bad about defaulting. He wanted to repay. I went to an online site that calculates inflation, and the then-current value of my loan to him was more than 250% of the original sum.

I appreciated that his conscience was guiding him. I didn't feel like stinging him. I told my old friend that I could really use a MIG welder, and that a good one could be obtained from a source local to me for about $1000. He ordered it, paid for it by credit card, and all I needed to do was drive to the store and pick it up. I forgave him, thanked him, and we were both happy the situation got resolved.
Click to expand...
well that's probably the best robbery story I've ever heard.. :D
 
The worst for me was a semester of college tuition, a family member. I paid the tuition directly to the school but then he withdrew from college and the school returned the money directly to him, and he kept it. What made it additionally upsetting is his mom knew about it. When I found out and confronted them the argument was I "gifted" him the money, that's how they justified him keeping it.

I will never figure out what happened to all my silver coins that disappeared fifteen years back, several thousand dollars worth. My son was doing drugs at the time and I believe he took them but he denied it, claimed maybe one of his or my daughters friends may have did it, or I was robbed. It wasn't something I checked very often, they may have been missing a couple of years before I noticed.
 
Back in the 90s when my (then teenage) son was living with me it came to light that he was using drugs. It also came to light that one weekend he took a bottle of liquor I had bought and put up in the cupboard.

10 years later when he was clean & sober he brought me a bottle of Tequila as a replacement for what he took. Ironically, I had quit drinking(high BP) so I didn't have a need for the booze so I gave it to my step-daughter.
 
I have a wayward sister... she's the youngest... and has always been a wild child, and a big problem, since my mother died when she was 10 years old..

She's got herself involved in the past in many things.. and she stole from my other sister.. one of my brothers.. and my father.. when she was a teen..

When I still lived at home I got a Bonus in my wages one Christmas .. first time ever, and as my father took all my wage packet since I left school, I'd never had extra money to buy myself anything. ... so I gave my siblings all some money from my Bonus..and I bought myself the first new outfit I;d ever had. A jacket, some platform shoes, and a Blouse..

When I came to wear them they were gone.. she'd stolen them , had worn them to go out one evening, and had broken the heels on the shoes.. the clothes were not fit to wear. I can't tell you how upset I was. I had spent all the remaining bonus on those clothes.. after I'd shared some money with them all..

There's more but too much for one post...
 
hollydolly said:
the thing is, these people knew that it would be clear to you that one of them stole these things.. or maybe several people stole an item each...
Click to expand...
My guess would be one person, and yeah, it is sad. Also, you can't exactly go around asking family members and friends if they did it other than just a general, "hey, did you see my whatever?" Anyway, since I live here now and if something disappears after guests leave I will know.
 
I allowed my sister to come and stay with me a one point....she ended up stealing some type of pain pills I had.
I kicked her out of my house!
This wasn't the first time she's stolen pills from me. She used to steal my cramp pills I used to buy OTC at the time. Took me 50 yrs to realize it was her.....I'd always thought it was one of my gfriends from high school.

When I moved to Las Vegas right after high school, she sold some of my clothes I had left behind at the swap meet.

We are currently not speaking, my choice.
 
I had a cousin steal my postage stamps while I was staying with her family. But, she was low IQ and an all-around yucky sort of person, so although I was shocked at the theft I shouldn't have been.

Nathan said:
my (then teenage) son was living with me ... he took a bottle of liquor I had bought and put up in the cupboard
Click to expand...

Ah come on, if we are counting teenagers getting into their parents' liquor cabinets then aren't we all going to fall into the category of thieves? (or is it just me???)
 
My guess is most people have had a few things taken some they might not even noticed until later......
i am confused how so many do not notice items on their card/ account ..... sooner that seems like a lot of McDonald's money........
i go through my accounts regularly and would see even a small purchase.

I have had small nice treasures / jewelry missing when late teens/ 20's..... i always suspected sister but was told i must have lost it....
I had a loser / addict brother in law that came by house to case it... i am sure. i told kids to lock door behind me when went outside and i told him ..."no visit- turn around and drive home" as i knew he had taken money from other family members close to the same time.
 
Roadwarrior said:
Minor issue. A few years back when my oldest G-Daughter was married to her 'loser' husband, we had given our g-children (7) a $50 bill each for Xmas. One came up missing, I suspected the 'loser' but made good on an additional $50 bill for the 11 YO g-daughter. The 1st G-Daughter finally dumped his a** & I still believe that he had pocketed the bill. What type of person would steal a gift on Xmas morning from an 11 YO?
Click to expand...
HoneyNut said:
I had a cousin steal my postage stamps while I was staying with her family. But, she was low IQ and an all-around yucky sort of person, so although I was shocked at the theft I shouldn't have been.



Ah come on, if we are counting teenagers getting into their parents' liquor cabinets then aren't we all going to fall into the category of thieves? (or is it just me???)
Click to expand...
Well, in Nathan's story, amends were eventually made. I believe that was the point. One comes out feeling better.
 
When my sister was heavily addicted to meth she stole Rx drugs from our parents, money, a watch, and some music CDs from me, and a bunch of birthday gifts of my daughter-in-law's: new blouses, a fragrance gift basket, and a set of Svorovski hairpins.

This was back in the late 90s and early 2000s. She has apologized to me 3X. Only the 3rd apology was sincere.

Taking responsibility, personally apologizing, and making amends for hurt you've caused is part of the 12-step program for sobriety. Bonnie faked her way through her first 2 attempts at completing the program, and apologized to me through alligator tears, hanging all over me pretending to be all choked-up with repentance and regret. It was effing pathetic.

She finally beat her drug addiction for real in 2006. She didn't apologize to my daughter-in-law until about a year ago. It's one of the conditions I set before I'd let her come and live with me and Michelle.

She's never actually apologized to me. Not literally. But she did come up to me one day and told me how much she appreciated my help, how it was unexpected, how hard she's going to work to earn my forgiveness and that I'm a good man and the best brother she could ever ask for...all that kind of stuff. And then she said "I love you, Frank," and her eyes watered and she turned and walked away real quick.

Seemed sincere that time.

She's still kind of a PITA, though.
 
Some years after the above story.. I was living far away in Married quarters with my husband and toddler.. I had my brother living with us too..

My sister turned up out of the blue..sad sob story...asked to stay, I said she could. We were barely living... my ex husbands navy wages were a pittance and he was a chronic gambler , and I worked part-time.. but every penny was a struggle to find.

The morning after my sister's arrival, I came downstairs to find her ..gone! She'd taken every item of clothing that I owned..including my coats.. There was not a stitch of clothing left, except what I'd been wearing the previous evening

I was just devastated..I had no idea why she done this again to me... ( she'd already stolen money from my other sister.. and none of the family wanted anything to do with her )..and I had been the only one who made time for her

Long story short, I was able to track her down through some mutual friends.. who told me where to find her, and I demanded the clothing back. I got it all served up to me in a Black trash bag via the mutual friend .. except one or 2 pieces... but no apology, no reason... ..and to this day no apology and this was over 40 years ago..
 
HoneyNut said:
I had a cousin steal my postage stamps while I was staying with her family. But, she was low IQ and an all-around yucky sort of person, so although I was shocked at the theft I shouldn't have been.



Ah come on, if we are counting teenagers getting into their parents' liquor cabinets then aren't we all going to fall into the category of thieves? (or is it just me???)
Click to expand...
Well it was a bigger theft than postage stamps.
 
hollydolly said:
Some years after the above story.. I was living far away in Married quarters with my husband and toddler.. I had my brother living with us too..

My sister turned up out of the blue..sad sob story...asked to stay, I said she could. We were barely living... my ex husbands navy wages were a pittance and he was a chronic gambler , and I worked part-time.. but every penny was a struggle to find.

The morning after my sister's arrival, I came downstairs to find her ..gone! She'd taken every item of clothing that I owned..including my coats.. There was not a stitch of clothing left, except what I'd been wearing the previous evening

I was just devastated..I had no idea why she done this again to me... ( she'd already stolen money from my other sister.. and none of the family wanted anything to do with her )..and I had been the only one who made time for her

Long story short, I was able to track her down through some mutual friends.. who told me where to find her, and I demanded the clothing back. I got it all served up to me in a Black trash bag via the mutual friend .. except one or 2 pieces... but no apology, no reason... ..and to this day no apology and this was over 40 years ago..
Click to expand...
My brothers have totally cut Bonnie out of their lives. She been clean for almost 20 years, but 20yrs of addiction changed her. She doesn't steal, but she will lie. I despise lying, even when it's minor. I called her out on it every time, and I'm *pretty sure* she doesn't do it anymore. Not to my face, anyway.

When she first moved in here I found out she told her friends at work that she moved in to take care of me...you know, because I'm so old and feeble, and apparently my wife doesn't give a shyte about me.

Man, that pissed me off. She came close to losing her room over it.
 
Murrmurr said:
My brothers have totally cut Bonnie out of their lives. She been clean for almost 20 years, but 20yrs of addiction changed her. She doesn't steal, but she will lie. I despise lying, even when it's minor. I called her out on it every time, and I'm *pretty sure* she doesn't do it anymore. Not to my face, anyway.

When she first moved in here I found out she told her friends at work that she moved in to take care of me...you know, because I'm so old and feeble, and apparently my wife doesn't give a shyte about me.

Man, that pissed me off. She came close to losing her room over it.
Click to expand...
See I'm with you on this with regard to lying..it drives me insane, people lying to my face. It's like a physical assault to me.. so I understand how you must have felt completely...I just cannot bear it...and U've cut people completely out of myl life for lying to me continually..such toxicity.. who needs it ?.. not you or me...

Same sister is a liar...goes along with the stealing I suppose ... you won't believe this.. but because I felt kind of responsible for her since my mother died...God alone knows why... I forgave her, in the sense that I didn't mention it again..... and she'd gone onto have her first child...

The rest of the family had cut her off completely even our violent father.. she'd stolen money from him, he was like Ebeneezer Scrooge, the worst thing you could do to him was take any money belonging to him, and she had.. he beat her up in the street... it was terrible..

2 years pass,..my only means of transport was a ladies bike which I'd managed to buy second hand with a little childs' seat on the back for my then 4 or 5 year old ...

Hadn't seen my sister for some months... got up one morning.. you've all guessed it. The bike was gone.. .. sister was about 18 at this time.. so not a kid... ...she'd stolen my only mode of transport.. and it was discovered after a few days thrown in the local river.. :cautious::(
 
hollydolly said:
See I'm with you on this with regard to lying..it drives me insane, people lying to my face. It's like a physical assault to me.. so I understand how you must have felt completely...I just cannot bear it...and U've cut people completely out of myl life for lying to me continually..such toxicity.. who needs it ?.. not you or me...

Same sister is a liar...goes along with the stealing I suppose ... you won't believe this.. but because I felt kind of responsible for her since my mother died...God alone knows why... I forgave her, in the sense that I didn't mention it again..... and she'd gone onto have her first child...

The rest of the family had cut her off completely even our violent father.. she'd stolen money from him, he was like Ebeneezer Scrooge, the worst thing you could do to him was take any money belonging to him, and she had.. he beat her up in the street... it was terrible..

2 years pass,..my only means of transport was a ladies bike which I'd managed to buy second hand with a little childs' seat on the back for my then 4 or 5 year old ...

Hadn't seen my sister for some months... got up one morning.. you've all guessed it. The bike was gone.. .. sister was about 18 at this time.. so not a kid... ...she'd stolen my only mode of transport.. and it was discovered after a few days thrown in the local river.. :cautious::(
Click to expand...
FFS

Yeah, there's definitely a point at which it's just hopeless and they have to go. The bike thing would've been it for me, too. That's when you're just a tool, a convenience for them. Screw that.
 

You must log in or register to reply here.

Back
Top