Childless Couples....Selfish?

SeaBreeze

SeaBreeze

Endlessly Groovin'
Location
USA
Heard a big controversial discussion on the radio about the new Time magazine cover about couples who choose not to have children. Some people thought it was selfish of them, and I think that's ridiculous. :rolleyes:

Funny how people are whining about the earth becoming overpopulated, and how so many mothers are dumping their babies off with their mothers, or how there are so many unwanted fatherless children being brought into this world.

Watch one Maury Povich show (and that's all I could stomach), and you will see a woman with 6 kids from 6 different men. When they have 4 of them on the show to DNA test them to see who will be 'stuck' with child support for her last baby...and they all prove negative...and that woman need to schedule another show to bring another bunch in to find the "baby daddy", I mean, come on! :mad:

We are a childless couple. When I was around 30, I felt my time was running out, and I started seeing the doctor about having a baby. It turned out that I wasn't able to have one due to physical problems on my end. Well, after a couple of tries at in-vitro fertilization, and lots of money out the window, I accepted my fate. I didn't want to adopt, just wanted a baby with my husband.

Seems like folks nowadays complain regardless. If you don't want a child, you're selfish...if you have too many you're overpopulating the earth...if you want to use birth control or have an abortion, you're a sinner......I say, if a couple can be happy together without having any babies, then the more power to them. They should not be pushed into it through guilt coming from strangers to be sure! What do you think?
 

I agree with you SB, my eldest daughter went through IVF three times and failed each time she finally became pregnant naturally but due to a problem with the baby had to have a termination which broke her heart, her doctor has advised her to not get pregnant again, and my youngest daughter well she is a very busy girl who works in advertising and doesn't have time for a baby and she is quite comfortable with that decision.
I think people need to keep their opinions to themself as it is up to the couple whether they have children or not, besides it's really none of their business , it's the same when a couple get married, the first thing they are asked is when are they having a baby WTF give them a chance to enjoy getting to know each other and also to be able to save enough money to be able to have a family, again it is none of their business it's entirely up to the couple, if they don't want children big deal get over it.
 
Can't agree more Jillaroo, they always want to know when you're going to have a baby...then when you do, they roll their eyes because they don't want to hear any more about your child. My heart goes out to your eldest daughter, I wish her the best. :love_heart:
 

The one's who cry 'selfish' are usually those with no other skills except producing copious supplies of offspring and are trying to prove that it takes talent or something. Not having them requires the talent.

I never wanted children, didn't get on well with them even when I was one. I was raised in a small house with 4 adults and no other children, so to me other kids all seemed pretty stupid. Still don't understand what makes them tick. For me to have had children would have been an unkindness to them. My maternal instincts are triggered more by puppies and small helpless things other than human for some reason.

It's genetic I think, I'm the last of the line, surname wise, on one side of the family, 2 of Dad's 3 sisters had none either, and the one who did have 2 didn't want them. She left the 4 year old on his own to feed and mind the 6 month old while she went into the city shopping on at least one occasion that we found out about, so she wasn't really 'mother' material by any stretch of tolerance.

I'm an only child and Dad and I were never close, he never knew how to talk to kids either. It's just not in us. Doesn't mean we dislike them particularly, I even feel deeply concerned for some of them, but seems we just didn't want any of our own. I sure don't have any genes worth adding to the DNA pool.

We're all wired differently and it must be terribly sad for those who want them and can't. But even sadder when those who don't want them have them and ignore, neglect or abuse them.

People have no call to expect that everyone must think and do as they consider right to be 'normal'. From my point of view those with 6 kids they can't support are the selfish ones.
 
Jillaroo said:
I think people need to keep their opinions to themself as it is up to the couple whether they have children or not
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Wholeheartedly agree. I also think it is up to people how many children they have. It only becomes other people's business if the children are not being adequately cared for. Given the amount of government and family support that is available there is no excuse for children being neglected.
 
Diwundrin said:
We're all wired differently and it must be terribly sad for those who want them and can't. But even sadder when those who don't want them have them and ignore, neglect or abuse them.

People have no call to expect that everyone must think and do as they consider right to be 'normal'. From my point of view those with 6 kids they can't support are the selfish ones.
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Warrigal said:
I also think it is up to people how many children they have. It only becomes other people's business if the children are not being adequately cared for. Given the amount of government and family support that is available there is no excuse for children being neglected.
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I agree with you both! :iagree:
 
I agree too as a mere male and pity those couples having a child in an attempt to hold a marriage together.

Personally I dont like children much and would make a poor father. At (other) family outings once I get past 'hello what your name and who do you belong to'? Its usually followed by 'I can hear your mother calling you' LOL
 
'I can hear your mother calling you' LOL
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That sparks a memory. I was annoying Dad, one of many times, when he said "go and tell your Mother she wants you."
I was at the back door before I realized what he was up to.

I ignored it after that, it was kind of fun knowing he noticed me enough to be 'annoying' him. :devilish:

He gave up eventually and taught me a few drawing, and home repair and maintenance tricks, more to be rid of me perhaps, but at last I learned something from him for my aggravating efforts. :)

I forgave him when I realized that I was pretty much of the same opinion when it came to annoying kids asking questions.
 
Didn't want them, don't need them, and now more than ever, glad I don't have them. I love being free to do the things I want to do on a moments notice, without being responsible for someone else. If this is selfish, then I'm guilty.

I have several friends and relatives that are raising their grandchildren because their own kids are too selfish, addicted, uneducated, or whatever to raise the kids they so freely spawned, without a moment's thought as to how the babies would be taken care of. Seems like lots of this happening these days.

Tomorrow some friend from out of state are coming to visit. They have 3 small grandkids of an addicted mother, they now have custody of, 4,6, and 8 years old. The mother has been addicted and in and out of jail for years, so why did she keep having kids she couldn't care for?

Our friend is 65 and his wife is not far behind. They had planned to retire soon, but not going to happen now, they will both be working until they take a dirt nap, to raise and pay for these kids.

It's a constant puzzlement to me as to why someone who cannot even take care of themselves, let alone a dog, would want to bring kids into the equation, and foist them off onto someone else or the state to raise.
 
Not selfish at all....I'd much rather see someone choose not to have children, than a scenario like Ozarkgal mentions; to have them with no forethought, and then go on their merry way and let someone else raise them - there is something very wrong with that. It brings to mind Casey Anthony, who is the exception, not the rule, thank heavens....but she had no thought of who had her daughter, or what was happening with her, as long as she herself was free to party. Most won't be so callous, but still too many think of themselves, and when you have children, you cannot act like it's only you, anymore.

As for grandparents raising their grandchildren, I've met some, and wonder how they do it. Most of us have health issues to deal with, and I can't imagine how one could deal with having full responsibilty for children, besides.
 
Visiting a friend in San Fransisco recently.
The subject came up on this show.
Do not worry about them he said.
They all end up with so much money from different charities they do not know what to do with it.
If you can swear, fight, cry, throw tantrums and give a good show you are in.
Plus they are coached as to how to enter on stage.
 
Ultimate 'Selfish' to me is Octomom in California. She had 6 little kids already, that she couldn't take care of, had no husband and got fertility treatments to have 8 more, all this while she was already on welfare. Makes perfect sense.
Probably thought this crazy stunt would put her on easy street .. but now the tax payers get to support them all.

People can do what they want, having kids or not, but when it affects others that is pure selfish behavior.

 
Friends of my wife & I, we have known them for 40 years. Both professional people who decided not to have children. You could not meet a nicer couple.
He has had high profile jobs all his life as has his wife. They now have retired in England Live within a stones throw of Wimbledon.
They come out to Australia every second or third year, just to keep in touch with everyone we all grew up with.... Their life, their choices as it should be!!!
 
Being a parent has been one of the most beautiful and difficult undertakings of my life. Children are wonderful. Yet, most of the couples I know are childless and that's fine. Discussions like these always make me wonder why someone who could not care less about me is so interested in how I live. So with that I say . . . Live and let live and shut the hell up. Have kids don't have kids. Freedom of choice, baby...
 
Jillaroo said:
OMG don't get me started on her
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That Guy said:
Discussions like these always make me wonder why someone who could not care less about me is so interested in how I live. So with that I say . . . Live and let live and shut the hell up. Have kids don't have kids. Freedom of choice, baby...
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Didn't notice any uncaring person on here singling you out and showing undue interest in your life, That Guy. I guess we have the "freedom of choice" to have a discussion without being told to shut the hell up, baby.:eek:nthego:
 
Ozarkgal said:
Didn't notice any uncaring person on here singling you out and showing undue interest in your life, That Guy. I guess we have the "freedom of choice" to have a discussion without being told to shut the hell up, baby.:eek:nthego:
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I think That Guy was directing his comments at those who are writing these articles in the Time magazine, etc...not the people here discussing it. I agree, live and let live...freedom to choose is theirs, and they should suffer no judgment for it.
 
SeaBreeze said:
I think That Guy was directing his comments at those who are writing these articles in the Time magazine, etc...not the people here discussing it. I agree, live and let live...freedom to choose is theirs, and they should suffer no judgment for it.
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Thanks, SeaBreeze. That's what I get for thinking it was just understood.... Guess I gotta work on being a bit more clear . . . darn. Sheesh!
 
Ozarkgal said:
Didn't notice any uncaring person on here singling you out and showing undue interest in your life, That Guy. I guess we have the "freedom of choice" to have a discussion without being told to shut the hell up, baby.:eek:nthego:
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Oops. Nothing like being misunderstood. Please reference SeaBreeze's explanation of my meaning. What would I do without her???
 
That Guy said:
Oops. Nothing like being misunderstood. Please reference SeaBreeze's explanation of my meaning. What would I do without her???
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So sorry That Guy..that's what I get for skimming when in a hurry...I was puzzled, as that vitrolic statement certainly didn't sound like you...please accept my apology for jumping to that conclusion. I agree that everyone makes their own choices in life, and we should try to live and let live.

:sorry::sorry::sorry::sorry::sorry::sorry::sorry::sorry::sorry:


SeaBreeze..
I think That Guy was directing his comments at those who are writing these articles in the Time magazine, etc...not the people here discussing it. I agree, live and let live...freedom to choose is theirs, and they should suffer no judgment for it.
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SB...once again, thanks for being the voice of reason here.
 
Octomom - the woman (and I use that term lightly in her case) is a selfish POS who doesn't deserve kids. Last I heard she was unsuccessful as a stripper, and then moved on to porn; she is disgusting, and yup, taxpayers support her and those poor kids now. :mad: :soap2:
 

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