I read an article regarding humans are not designed to be happy

L

Ladybj

Live, Laugh and Love
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The article was quite interesting. It covered some great points.

There is actually a book called You Are Not Meant to Be Happy - So Stop Trying. I downloaded a sample of the book on my Kindle. I will check it out to see if it's worth purchasing. I tried to name 5 people that I know personally that are truly happy, I could not name one. I have more joy in my life than happiness. Happiness is temporary, joy stays around a bit longer. What are your thoughts?
 

I have met so many people (especially ones that I have worked with), that seem to look for reasons to complain about something. They don't look for reasons to be happy or satisfied about something. Then again, look at all of the hate mongering bigots/racists in the world. They're always looking for reasons to complain about, or dislike people who are different from them. They would never look for reasons to like or respect someone who is different. I think no one should be surprised at the title of the book. I have known it for a fact all of my life.
 
fuzzybuddy said:
I guess it matters what you mean by "happy". If you mean some kind of drugged like 24/7 joy and elation- Nope. We get bored easily. We need drama, challenges, danger, and none of that sounds "happy".
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Exactly!!! I would not want to be "happy" 24/7. I need a bit of challenges, survival skills in my life :LOL:
 
Is there a subtle difference between being happy and being contented? Or are they exactly the same?

How much does social media affect things? People are always being encouraged to compare themselves to others online... others who (remember) carefully manipulate their Twitter feeds etc to look better than they really are. You can only be your own kind of happy, not someone else's...
 
With some exceptions, humans are designed to function efficiently until the end of their lifespan. Everything else, particularly human emotions, depends far more on external influences and individual decisions than design...imo.

People who can't feel happy were either emotionally damaged, or they were born with a deficiency or developed an imbalance.
 
One can web search for definitions of happiness but most seem rather vague, strangled by semantics. And then there is Aristotle's long explanation that becomes lost in examples of virtue terms. No, I'll make it simple herein...

Happiness is a content, satisfying, pleasurable, emotional, feeling state.

Happiness is not necessarily moral or ethical and what is happiness for specific persons depends on thoughts and behaviors of that individual. A warmongering warrior may be happy to slay enemies that brings praise from his army but is hated by peaceful persons. A child may be happy upon receiving a gift. A religious person may become happy upon successfully being what in their own mind they consider good, ethical, moral. Much more.
 
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I do have some issues with the title. I don't believe we are designed or meant to be any certain way. We are simply a product of evolution which has no intent or design. That being said, I do understand that happiness is a state of mind, and there will be times in our lives we will feel happy, and other times that we do not.

The portion of the title urging us to stop trying makes no sense to me. If enjoying life with someone makes you happy, why would you stop doing that? That's nonsense.

I will say that lasting happiness belongs to those who are easily contented. So the simple way to feel happier is to want less and expect less. Every day reflect on all the things you have to be thankful for, and learn to appreciate the simple things in life. It seems the disturbers of happiness are our desires, our griefs, and our fears. Learning to manage them is a valuable life skill, and can go a long way to experiencing a more consistent level of happiness.
 
Paladin1950 said:
I have met so many people (especially ones that I have worked with), that seem to look for reasons to complain about something. They don't look for reasons to be happy or satisfied about something. Then again, look at all of the hate mongering bigots/racists in the world. They're always looking for reasons to complain about, or dislike people who are different from them. They would never look for reasons to like or respect someone who is different. I think no one should be surprised at the title of the book. I have known it for a fact all of my life.
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Amen.

I guess it depends on how you define "happiness", is it the same as contentedness? I mean, a lot of people are content, but for me happiness is in relation to an event, or new learning, a spike, as it were. So you get this "high" of happiness. But I don't think it's supposed to be something we experience the whole time.

People are strange, because we put up faces for others. Someone will tell you they're happy one week, and file for a divorce the next. :D
 
Ladybj said:
There is actually a book called You Are Not Meant to Be Happy - So Stop Trying.
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Sounds like another "feel good" book, I'll look for it on Kindle.

Edit: found it on amazon. Here's a brief word:
Our DNA doesn’t want to make us happy. It prefers to keep us forever anxious about potential threats and in need of new rewards that will never quite satisfy us. Our biological self is naturally unhappy, as the 10th century Caliph of Córdoba discovered when he counted the days he had felt happy in his whole life and found they amounted to only 14.
Through a series of conversations with his patients – some funny, others poignant – Rafa Euba reflects on the futility of chasing happiness as a goal, while accepting that money, pills, sex and food sometimes make this quest more agreeable. Yet, even then, the so-called “Paradox of Hedonism” stops us from enjoying ourselves too much, and not even our dreams at night offer respite from our biologically-determined unhappiness.
The author looks for evidence of happiness in the workings of our brain, in our mythology, and in even in fairy tales, but can’t find any. He also looks for it in self-help books, but concludes that their vacuous optimism can’t possibly lead to a state of emotional contentment. This is because however hard we may try to govern our emotions, they will inevitably remain mixed and messy. Happiness is a myth, an ethereal ghost that inhabits our brain only as an abstract idea.
Rafa Euba is a seasoned psychiatrist, who can’t help constantly pondering about the flaws and wonders of human nature, even when he should be doing other things.
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If the author would have been looking at the brain chemistry's effect on consciousness he would have likely understood how Humans are rewarded with "happy" neurotransmitters, which are felt physically and emotionally.
 
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hollydolly said:
if you're not being 'nice'' your being offensive, and people are very willing and ready to take offence...
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I can't disagree with facts and as far as I can tell that's a fact, probably online even more than in real life.

Maybe the only difference is the walking on eggshells in real life since you never know where the unexploded bombs are buried and you stand right next to them. Online you don't experience the same level of damage.
 
Ladybj said:
The article was quite interesting. It covered some great points.

There is actually a book called You Are Not Meant to Be Happy - So Stop Trying.
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Written by a low achiever in life, or someone who never tried to improve their lot in life and preferred to stay in their comfort zone ... then they realised life has pased them by.

Crumbs .. I'm going to cry now that sounded so abysmally miserable and melancholic.:cry:
 

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