Ever buy a thoughtful gift to have it treated dismissively?

[Debrah N.]

Yep, my daughter does it all the time. I've stopped buying for her... she will just hand it back and say ''no thanks, I don't have any use for that''... I was horrified the first time she did that.. and after the 3rd time.. I stopped buying anything for her..

So in the end, uncomfortable as it was, she did you a favour. Now you're off the hook of ever having to agonize over buying some gift that may get put in the closet to wind up in two years on a garage sale table or regifted. She saved you time and money! Lucky you!

We'd gotten away from the habit of gift giving but have reluctantly restarted again because of our little grandson. My daughter and I thought it might be good for him seeing the rest of us giving and getting so that he didn't grow up thinking Christmas gifting was only all about him! After two Christmas's having to do this again, I'm trying to think of ways to make the whole thing less of a pain for all of us. So count yourself lucky....unless of course you loved the whole thing and you really do miss it? In that case, so sorry to hear of your disappointment

 

[Debrah N.]

Food for thought. I hope my son likes his fruit basket come December!

Maybe he'll regift it to you

 

[debodun]

One Christmas I gave my supervisor's daughter a butterfly brooch. On my birthday I got it back. Another time I got her a "Little House on the Prairie" book. The next workday it was handed back to me. The supervisor said her daughter didn't have time to read FICTION. I told her the book was a true story. It didn't convince her. After that, I never bothered to get anything for her. The supervisor didn't reciprocate anyway. Could have been a cultural thing, though.

 

[Remy]

No
I don't give gifts much
I've given a few of my avian abodes as gifts, but with a disclaimer;
'If it's not your taste, give it to someone else'

View attachment 323715

Wife knits gifts
We figure they can do whatever they wish with them, since they're gifts

Her filthy rich sister does love those knitted socks
Can't find such things in stores no matter the price

That is not only my taste but an absolute treasure!!!!! Someone would have to be out of their minds to not cherish a gift like that. But let's face it, idiots exist.

There was a discussion in the Ravely (knit and crochet site) forums about gifting handmade items. One woman said she'd be offended if someone gave her handmade washclothes. She said she'd think they were making a remark about her hygiene. WT actual F? Nuts. I love using my knit clothes in the kitchen.

 

[hollydolly]

So in the end, uncomfortable as it was, she did you a favour. Now you're off the hook of ever having to agonize over buying some gift that may get put in the closet to wind up in two years on a garage sale table or regifted. She saved you time and money! Lucky you!

We'd gotten away from the habit of gift giving but have reluctantly restarted again because of our little grandson. My daughter and I thought it might be good for him seeing the rest of us giving and getting so that he didn't grow up thinking Christmas gifting was only all about him! After two Christmas's having to do this again, I'm trying to think of ways to make the whole thing less of a pain for all of us. So count yourself lucky....unless of course you loved the whole thing and you really do miss it? In that case, so sorry to hear of your disappointment

yes sad for me because I'm a giver.. very much so... and she's the only one left not to buy gifts for, so now her birthdays and Christmases go by and I can no longer buy her gifts.. My daughter otoh is not a giver or a gifter...

 

[Remy]

I'm so sorry about those experiences @PeppermintPatty People can be unkind.

 

[hollydolly]

That is not only my taste but an absolute treasure!!!!! Someone would have to be out of their minds to not cherish a gift like that. But let's face it, idiots exist.

There was a discussion in the Ravely (knit and crochet site) forums about gifting handmade items. One woman said she'd be offended if someone gave her handmade washclothes. She said she'd think they were making a remark about her hygiene. WT actual F? Nuts. I love using my knit clothes in the kitchen.

it's funny because when I was at school.. it was looked on as shameful to be accused of wearing anything home-made , it would cause acute embarrassment to be found wearing something made by hand at home...

Fortunately all that has changed now.. and bespoke goods are seriously sought , and admired

 

[Alizerine]

My son had trouble accepting gifts. It was better to give him an unwrapped pair of Levi's in advance of the occasion. I guess that seemed more of a necessity than a gift. A present might stay wrapped for weeks before he could deal with it. He would sometimes let me open a birthday card for him so I could thank the sender if there were photos inside.

 

[Remy]

it's funny because when I was at school.. it was looked on as shameful to be accused of wearing anything home-made , it would cause acute embarrassment to be found wearing something made by hand at home...

Fortunately all that has changed now.. and bespoke goods are seriously sought , and admired

Probably even a sweater? That would be more treasured today.

 

[PeppermintPatty]

I'm so sorry about those experiences @PeppermintPatty People can be unkind.

No worries. People can be brutally unkind.
People will do the most horrific things if they know for certain they can get away with it.
I get taken advantage of all the time and I hate it. It’s hard to have a positive healthy attitude at times.

But thank you Remy. You’re a sweetheart.

 

[hollydolly]

Probably even a sweater? That would be more treasured today.

our mothers often knitted school uniform cardigans and sweaters for us kids.. but we were always looked down on as 'poor kids'' when we wore them.

 

[dilettante]

our mothers often knitted school uniform cardigans and sweaters for us kids.. but we were always looked down on as 'poor kids'' when we wore them.

Been there. At least as the oldest I only dealt with hand-me-downs from cousins or clothes drives.

 

[Alizerine]

When we all lived in the tri-state NY area instead of gifts with my sister's family, we would meet for lunch in the city and go to Rockefeller Center or a museum. We called that our gift to each other.

 

[Murrmurr]

This year I re-gifted a re-gifted gift that was immediately re-gifted.

Paxton's former foster parent, Melanie and I meet for a standing lunch date every month. We became really good friends when she was foster parent of the twins, Paxton's younger siblings.

Anyway, me and Mel's December lunch date was a few days before Christmas, and Mel gave me a store-bought plastic bucket of cookies that a co-worker had gifted her.

On Christmas Eve, me and Michelle went to my son Liam's house, and I gifted the box of cookies to him and his wife.

He smiled at his wife and said, "There it is!"

By that he meant "There's what we'll gift the neighbors this year!"

I think those cookies were finally gifted to the right people. But that's just an assumption.

 

[dobielvr]

Last Christmas I gave My pinky my heart, the very next day she gave it away!

Love that song..

 

[Murrmurr]

@hollydolly

Want another chuckle? My gift to Mel was a box of cookies.

Difference is, I made them myself....Scottish Shortbread, but I added some ginger tea (from a tea bag) and almond extract.

She text me that evening to say her kids loved them.

 

[Gary O']

I love using my knit clothes in the kitchen.

Yeah, my lady made several (many sizes, textures)

 

[dilettante]

Was putting tea into the cookie dough successful at adding some "body?"

 

[hollydolly]

I think the main problem with gifting is that subconsciously, people buy what THEY would like to get to give others.

Not me, I'm very conscious of what people like , what their hobbies are, what things they have said they needed, and so on...I'm not the type of person that would buy an apron for someone who doesn't cook just because it looks pretty..

 

[Poppyseed]

ex-sister-in-law, there was no pleasing this b*tch. I was a quilter and thought who could refuse a handmade blanket of warmth. I repeatedly told her I was making her something really special “you are going to love it”. I had her open it last; the family braced themselves. She opened it, didn’t even unfold it and said “is this what u were so excited about? It isn’t ...

I so hope you were cozy on the walk home with the quilt to keep you warm..

 

[Sliverfox]

I send son & his wife what I felt was a great gift for their new baby girl.

Got a letter back stating ,next time. buy brand name clothing.


OK,, next time we took them shopping , let them pick out her clothing.

Never saw her wearing any of what was bought.....??
Money became what we gave them, so they could get what they wanted.

 

[Gardenlover]

I like to give cold sores, the recipient can give them away, but they keep coming back. It's the gift that keeps on giving.

Now before you start throwing rotten tomatoes and antiviral medication at me, please know that I'm just joking.

 

[Gardenlover]

My wife is a gift giver, whereas I would rather give the gift of time. My wife is quick to start the gift giving cycle with friends and neighbors much to my dismay, as then they of course feel obligated to get us a gift. There is no prefect material gift in my opinion, due to tastes and desires. I couldn't accept gifts while I was involved in the corporate world as they could be seen as a bribe.

 

[jujube]

A friend bought her step-granddaughter some very nice clothing for Christmas one year. The step-daughter told her that she only wanted my friend to buy a certain brand of very expensive children's clothing because "she could sell them on E-Bay after the girl wore them a couple of times and she couldn't get much for the clothes my friend had bought." Lovely. Yes, it's her right to do with the present as she chose, but...still....lovely.

I crochet baby afghans and make very pretty ones. They're a lot of work. I made one for a relative-of-a-relative's baby one year and when I visited their home a few months later, it was in the dog's bed with the dog sleeping on it. I can't believe they left that out for me to see....or, possibly it meant so little to them that they couldn't even remember who gave it to them (I didn't get a thank-you card...) I'm very selective who gets one these days. I'm just putting the finishing touches on one today for a baby shower this month. At least, I know these people are going to like it.

 

[StarSong]

This is quite a thread. While I've never had anyone hand me back a gift or be rude to my face, it's occasionally been obvious that a gift I thought would be perfect instead fell flat. Uncomfortable, for sure.

Based on the excitement, effusive thanks and comments about which they liked best, I'm pretty sure the homemade cookies I give every Christmas aren't thrown away. Indeed, I'd be deeply wounded to learn that they had been.

In our family we mostly only give to the little kids for Christmas. Our three themed grab bags are great fun. Everyone tends to go home happy with the $10-$15 gifts they wound up with.

How fortunate most of us are that we don't need anything.