Ever buy a thoughtful gift to have it treated dismissively?

With the Smart phones capabilities the old stuff seems archaic, so its just a simple Gift Card and they love em. Just enjoy! ..... MFr ....... Sure I love you , sure a rock loves me. ......haha ..... It's been decades. Sure they come and eat and stuff. haha
 

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After years of giving my mother thoughtful gifts that she promptly returned, and years of giving her cash, my father asked my mother what she wanted for Xmas, and she said, “Nothing.” So that’s exactly what the exasperated man gave her that year!

Mother went for a long walk alone that Xmas day, and the snow wasn’t the only thing that day which was as cold as ice! Another life lesson learned by myself as a child in the battle of the sexes, a long war in which my poor father won numerous Purple Hearts…

As for me, I try not to get too ego-invested in the gifts that I give out, but continue to throw them at the wall of recipients, hoping that something sticks… 😸
 

One year, I gave my nephew, about 7 at the time, a board for Christmas. A board with holes drilled into it.

He unwrapped it and looked at it oddly but thanked me nonetheless.

Then he opened his next present and saw why I had given him a board. His next present was a box filled with smallish tools, not toys, just smaller versions.....a hammer, a couple of screwdrivers, some pliers, tape measure, and a wrench, and an assortment of nails, screws, bolts and nuts.

That was one happy little boy that day. There was a sore thumb or two, but he survived. I think he learned there is good to be had from any present, no matter how odd.
 
A lot of responses here include buying people gift cards. My take on gift cards: unless you KNOW someone frequents a particular store or restaurant, gift cards present an obligation to the recipient to go somewhere and figure out how to use them up without adding more money to the equation.

If they're not for Trader Joe's or Amazon, I'm unlikely to use them. Olive Garden and other chain restaurants? Hard pass. I generally offer them to my kids the next time we get together - otherwise they'd never get cashed in. I ask if they can use the card, or if not, can they pass it along to someone who will.
 
jujube said:
A friend bought her step-granddaughter some very nice clothing for Christmas one year. The step-daughter told her that she only wanted my friend to buy a certain brand of very expensive children's clothing because "she could sell them on E-Bay after the girl wore them a couple of times and she couldn't get much for the clothes my friend had bought." Lovely. Yes, it's her right to do with the present as she chose, but...still....lovely.

I crochet baby afghans and make very pretty ones. They're a lot of work. I made one for a relative-of-a-relative's baby one year and when I visited their home a few months later, it was in the dog's bed with the dog sleeping on it. I can't believe they left that out for me to see....or, possibly it meant so little to them that they couldn't even remember who gave it to them (I didn't get a thank-you card...) I'm very selective who gets one these days. I'm just putting the finishing touches on one today for a baby shower this month. At least, I know these people are going to like it.
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I've seen gifts go to the dog or the trash. Sad. Is money the answer? Not to me but seems so. I came from depression era. Any gift meant something then. The memories are priceless. Just to be in the company of family is mostly time well spent. Guess I'm crabby in at my age. Change confounds me more than anything.
 
StarSong said:
A lot of responses here include buying people gift cards. My take on gift cards: unless you KNOW someone frequents a particular store or restaurant, gift cards present an obligation to the recipient to go somewhere and figure out how to use them up without adding more money to the equation.
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Delaware was chosen to be the guardian state of unclaimed property. All *unused balances on gift cards is classified as unclaimed property. Each year the state of Delaware accumulates upwards from $20-million (last time I checked) in unspent gift card values.

*nearly all gift cards have a date on the back when the retailer will stop accepting them, but there's no cash refund
 
Murrmurr said:
Delaware was chosen to be the guardian state of unclaimed property. All *unused balances on gift cards is classified as unclaimed property. Each year the state of Delaware accumulates upwards from $20-million (last time I checked) in unspent gift card values.

*nearly all gift cards have a date on the back when the retailer will stop accepting them, but there's no cash refund
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Since 1997, generally speaking, gift cards in California cannot expire, nor can service fees for dormancy be applied.
https://codes.findlaw.com/ca/civil-code/civ-sect-1749-5/

I never heard that about Delaware. Interesting to know, thanks!
 
I've never known anyone rude enough to be deliberately dismissive's of another's gift. Isn't this manners 101? I was brought up better than this and so were my contemporaries. We would have been polite whether we liked someone's gift or not and would have thanked them on top of it.
 
chic said:
I've never known anyone rude enough to be deliberately dismissive's of another's gift. Isn't this manners 101? I was brought up better than this and so were my contemporaries. We would have been polite whether we liked someone's gift or not and would have thanked them on top of it.
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Maybe it's a cultural thing, though. Most Americans are (were) taught to appreciate gifts no matter if they're useless or cheap or whatever. We were taught to appreciate the act of giving.

But when I was a kid at a couple of family Christmases, some of my recently immigrated relatives didn't hesitate to say stuff like "I'll never use this" and "Oh God, Miriam, you know this isn't my color!"

And I remember one of them saying to me, "You need to let mommy pick out the presents from now on, sweetie." :oops:

I understood that this was bad manners. But my mom said it was forgivable, because it's not considered bad manners where they came from. Maybe so. Or maybe she was just trying to make me feel better. (it worked)
 
Murrmurr said:
Delaware was chosen to be the guardian state of unclaimed property. All *unused balances on gift cards is classified as unclaimed property. Each year the state of Delaware accumulates upwards from $20-million (last time I checked) in unspent gift card values.
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All States have unclaimed property divisions. How is Delaware the Central one?
 
Murrmurr said:
Maybe it's a cultural thing, though. Most Americans are (were) taught to appreciate gifts no matter if they're useless or cheap or whatever. We were taught to appreciate the act of giving.

But when I was a kid at a couple of family Christmases, some of my recently immigrated relatives didn't hesitate to say stuff like "I'll never use this" and "Oh God, Miriam, you know this isn't my color!"

And I remember one of them saying to me, "You need to let mommy pick out the presents from now on, sweetie." :oops:

I understood that this was bad manners. But my mom said it was forgivable, because it's not considered bad manners where they came from. Maybe so. Or maybe she was just trying to make me feel better. (it worked)
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Wow. That's confusing to a kid. Was it really not bad manners where they came from?
 
I once had a condo neighbor who was trying to initiate a BFF situation and was constantly gifting me small gaily wrapped items for no reason. In reality, I could barely stand to be in their (she and husband) company. I finally resorted to rudeness (set gift aside w/o unwrapping) and gifting ceased. I probably should have handled it more gracefully but …..
 
chic said:
Wow. That's confusing to a kid. Was it really not bad manners where they came from?
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I don't know for sure, but that particular side of my family always let a person know if a gift wasn't right for them. Maybe they thought their honesty was good manners.

And if mom asked them what they'd like for their birthday or Christmas, they almost always answered "Nothing" or "Oh, please, don't bother about me."

After a couple years of that, she gave them what they asked for.
 
ohioboy said:
All States have unclaimed property divisions. How is Delaware the Central one?
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Chosen by The Supreme Court, I think. I don't remember, but some federal entity. Oh! Maybe Congress.

Delaware is the US's official Guardian State of Unclaimed Property, and one of it's tasks is to reunite individuals, organizations and, I suppose, corporations with unclaimed property, including money...i.e., you didn't know a distant relative left you a chunk of their fortune or that a reclusive wealthy person left their fortune to your charity.

But I remember reading a few years ago (maybe 5 years ago) that Delaware was accused of using unclaimed money they shouldn't have. That's when I first learned they were given that title.
 
Probably due to the fact many companies are "Incorporated" in Delaware, (A Delaware Corporation), therefore, if there is a question of unclaimed property for any of those companies, DE assumes jurisdiction instead of the State of Venue?
 
ohioboy said:
Probably due to the fact many companies are "Incorporated" in Delaware, (A Delaware Corporation), therefore, if there is a question of unclaimed property for any of those companies, DE assumes jurisdiction instead of the State of Venue?
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I wish I'd stored the lengthy article I read about this. I remember the headline; "Delaware The Guardian State of Unclaimed Property". The words "Guardian State" is why I read it....it's odd characterization, right?

Unfortunately, I only remember that The Supreme Court and a federal agency or committee and/or Congress were mentioned, and that Delaware was the main collector of unclaimed property nationwide, and accumulated $millions of it annually.

Maybe it was misleading or bogus, or I just miss-remember some important details. Always a possibility.
 
My mothers default was to be disappointed about what you got her, no matter what it was, it was never enough. It got so bad I stopped buying anything.
 
My SIL knitted beautiful sweaters for my 3 boys for years. I saved them all and when she had grandchildren I mailed them back as my kids had outgrown them and they were in excellent condition. Her kids were thrilled to get them. There’s something special about homemade gifts.
 
StarSong said:
A lot of responses here include buying people gift cards. My take on gift cards: unless you KNOW someone frequents a particular store or restaurant, gift cards present an obligation to the recipient to go somewhere and figure out how to use them up without adding more money to the equation.

If they're not for Trader Joe's or Amazon, I'm unlikely to use them. Olive Garden and other chain restaurants? Hard pass. I generally offer them to my kids the next time we get together - otherwise they'd never get cashed in. I ask if they can use the card, or if not, can they pass it along to someone who will.
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In addition, they are risky to send through the mail. I once sent my granddaughter a gift card, which she never received. It was probably put in a different mailbox in her building, and whoever received it happily used it. It's like sending cash through the mail.

There's a reason checks were invented!
 
OP >>> "Ever buy a thoughtful gift to have it treated dismissively?"

No. Most of my gifts to others were received with little to no thankful feedback.

But have RECEIVED gifts I regretfully should have thanked gift givers for and in some cases greatly. I am particularly ashamed that as an adult that lived far from my parent's residence that I didn't thank them at times for some of the items they made and mailed that required thoughtfulness, time, effort including crafts and art. I loved my parents deeply so regret how I fell short. What I did always thank my Mom most for were her wonderful baked goods.
 
Sunny said:
In addition, they are risky to send through the mail. I once sent my granddaughter a gift card, which she never received. It was probably put in a different mailbox in her building, and whoever received it happily used it. It's like sending cash through the mail.

There's a reason checks were invented!
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These days, one can email gift cards, which is much safer than sending one through the post.
 

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