Do you think people know "the real you"?

I am pretty much the same confident, vocally strong, emotionally restrained, logical, carefully idealistic, communicative person, personality wise in person, as I've been publicly posting on the web over two and one half decades or to those I worked with in my career at corporate offices and labs.

But that in no way means I was freely opening up my full life to those same people including those on this web board. So am no fool. One can put that blame solely on those that have dominated our society during my lifetime that have unfairly demonized and suppressed Counterculture era persons. I have no real skeletons in my closet, though in my 20s did some modestly embarrassing things like most others that I won't share with others, learned from, and won't repeat.
 

I'm an open book to a certain extent, but I don't open up the whole book - I show the book with pages missing.
It took me a long time to find the real me, and it's precious to me now I know the real me.

There was only one person who knew me inside out, who I trusted to tell all, to hold nothing back to and I don't think I will ever show the real me to anyone else.

I don't lie about me, I just don't tell everything.

Besides, it's boring if one knows everything about another ;)
 

fuzzybuddy said:
Not that you're a Mr. Hyde/Dr. Jeckel person, but we all have secrets. They are not huge evil secrets, but we all have 'em.
Do you think people know "the real you", or a version of you?
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The question is, online, can anyone know you? I say - no. Online is a reflection of who you want to be, or whom you want to pretend to be. Only by meeting and interacting in real life, can you know the person.
 
I have a number of online friends who do know the real me. I write blogs and I am honest and write the truth. I am not rich nor do I try to imply what I do is better than what anyone else does. So for the most part if I have conversations with you online or in person you would get to know the real me. And yes, your online friends can become your real friends. I love many of mine.
 
I would think that all of you may no me best. I have been so honest on this site, telling you things I would never say in my so called real life. It is a safe place to be honest, share your fears, things that have shattered you to the core.

By doing so I hope others will share their deepest feelings and fears. That I can find strength in the realities of our lives, our feelings, our fears. It is hard to share with others that you know you are not alright, that you suffer from mental illness. In my case it is severe anxiety about everything and depression.

All of you have been so supportive and yes I have had therapy which is fine. I feel talking to all of you is so much better. So many of us suffer with the same issues whereas our therapist really have no clue and in no way can really undertand what we go through.

I much prefer to communicate with others of similar problems and how you deal with it. There is comfort in a community that really truly knows the pain and confusion of suffering while trying to live a normal life (or so called normal life)

I really appreciate those of you that are real about your challenges. I also appreciate those who have never suffered these feelings. Those are the people we strive to be, that we can put all the fear, anxiety behind us and let out light show through.
 
CinnamonSugar said:
Exceptionally private person here…. 🤫
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In person or online, y'all only know me as much as I'm willing to publicly share certain parts of my persona. Although I've shared some rather personal things, some things are much too private to share. There are a few people who I've come to trust and who know me somewhat better because I've revealed more of my personality and the workings of my mind to them through private conversations. I'm selective as to whom I allow to get close to me. There are only a few I let into my inner sanctum, and when I do so, I do so with extreme caution.
 
For me, I feel there is a significant distinction between knowing about someone and really knowing them or understanding them. Knowledge about me can happen rather quickly, as it just involves compiling information. But getting to know someone takes time to understand their values, motivations, desires, etc.... The first one is impersonal knowledge, and the second type is personal.

Many people knew about Anthony Bourdain, but only the ones he let into his private world really knew and understood him. It goes to a deeper level, and it's intimate, and involves trust and vulnerability. For me a lot of it boils down to the why factor. You may know the things I do, or the things I like, or where I live, but you don't know the why until you really know me, and there are only a trusted few who I decide on getting that close to. Having someone like that in your life to share your intimate thoughts and know that it's private, is a unique, and very emotional experience.
 
Well nobody is going to confide in me. I'm actually pretty open, so much so that most posts here make people cringe with terror at what I might say. :ROFLMAO:

Not to say that I don't make an effort to keep secrets. It just isn't really my nature any more. I'm old dammit and care less every day what people think. No more Ferengi "Hoo-mann Resources" looking over my shoulder backseat driving, bugging my office, or having spies in the office reporting back to the nepotistic "Little Mothers" downtown.
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A large part of of my time is devoted to subjects that have political implications. Since politics is off the table here I try to set that aside and concentrate on things we have in common.
 
Alizerine said:
A large part of of my time is devoted to subjects that have political implications. Since politics is off the table here I try to set that aside and concentrate on things we have in common.
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I get that. But I have decided that for me it can just be too toxic, and a negative force in our societies right now.
 
I'm finding that people ask your opinion and then quickly become outraged if the fact that you don't live inside the same Bubble they do slips out.
 
Very few people know the "real me". My partner has learned a lot during our 32 years together. He knows my insecurities, my vices and my tendency to become impatient. He also knows my empathy, my generosity and my sense of humor. That's what even my closest friends and my acquaintances see. They rarely see the "other side" of me, although some who are close may have figured it out.
 
bobcat said:
For me, I feel there is a significant distinction between knowing about someone and really knowing them or understanding them. Knowledge about me can happen rather quickly, as it just involves compiling information. But getting to know someone takes time to understand their values, motivations, desires, etc.... The first one is impersonal knowledge, and the second type is personal.

Many people knew about Anthony Bourdain, but only the ones he let into his private world really knew and understood him. It goes to a deeper level, and it's intimate, and involves trust and vulnerability. For me a lot of it boils down to the why factor. You may know the things I do, or the things I like, or where I live, but you don't know the why until you really know me, and there are only a trusted few who I decide on getting that close to. Having someone like that in your life to share your intimate thoughts and know that it's private, is a unique, and very emotional experience.
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Interesting that you brought up Anthony Bourdain. He was a keynote speaker at a conference I attended and came off as unapproachable and condescending. After his speech, he immediately got into his car and headed to the airport. He was not interested in interacting with anyone, even during a cocktail party that was held in his honor. But then, he definitely had demons that no one other than him really understood. I'm sure he'd built up a wall over time to hide them. We never know what other people are going through. May he RIP.
 
hollydolly said:
People like to think they know me. They'll say '' you like such and such...or, you would do or say such a thing''...

...but they're wrong. I'm often shocked at how people who I would expect to know me.. just get it all wrong!
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Ohhh I hate it when people say things like that. As if they would really know what I like or think.
 

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