How do you handle disappointment?

chic

chic

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How do you handle disappointment in life? Do you do well. or not? What is your attitude towards disappointment? Any coping skills to share?

I guess it somewhat depends on the situation, but I am an impatient person and do not handle disappointment as well as I could. I take it personally, when really it isn't. It's definitely something to work on and improve in my life.

How do you feel about it? What do you do, not do? How is your attitude about disappointment? Since it's something we all must face at some point, handling it constructively would be best.
 

@chic
How do I handle disappointment ?
It depends on the disappointment but usually counting my blessings and considering myself lucky, helps. Things can always be worse?

Reframing whatever Iā€™m thinking about into something more acceptable helps a great deal. It takes practice but works.

Then I vapeā€¦. šŸ˜‚ lol

Note: my reaction isnā€™t instant
It takes time and patience
 
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Depending on the type of disappointment, I either pout or I get angry. But it usually doesn't last long.

"doesn't last long" - that's relative, right? Pouting might last for like 20 minutes, max, and then I'm over it. But I can be angry for months if someone I care about disappoints me. If I disappoint myself, I can be angry for a lot longer.

Not that I like myself more than people I care about. Maybe I expect more from myself. Or maybe I'm less forgiving of my own missteps. I hate to let people down.
 
DebraMae said:
I have come to the point where I expect nothing. Then when something good happens it is a pleasant surprise. I don't know that this is healthy, but it is the way I have come to look at it.
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I'm with you, that's how I look at it now. I have been disappointed with so much and so many people in my life... so now I just don't expect anything, and then if I do get something.. whether that's a good reaction, or a result in some way... I'm delighted...but not disappointed as much as I once would have been
 
I guess it depends on how much I have invested. If it's only a small amount of time, money, or emotions, then I am able to put it in the rearview mirror without much grumbling. If, however, it is a considerable investment of the above mentioned, then it may take some time to accept the disappointment. Even though I will accept the reality, it still affects me to some degree for awhile.
 
Bella said:
Low expectations is the key to happiness. The lower the better, no expectations, if you can manage that, is best. Whatever the disappointment, I consider that it could always be worse.
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But you get what you expect so if disappointment makes you never expect anything, you will never get anything.

Guys, this can be something as simple and uncontrollable as the weather raining on your picnic. I'd be disappointed but not crushed. I'm seldom disappointed when doing other things because I keep plowing forward until things work out for me or I'll know why. IE. - I don't give up easily. I can usually stay positive during the worst with a blip or two maybe. :giggle:
 
Big disappointments can be very hard though. If you react poorly it can be something held over your head for the rest of your life. Worse yet the offender may never admit the wrong that disappointed you so harshly in the first place. Even if they eventually do, your bad reaction may continue to be held over you as a Sword of Damocles forever when you were in the right the entire time.

You lose and you lose, or you win and you lose. Some people are just "score keepers" and some of them can't ever allow themselves to lose so somebody else always has to bow down... or bow out.

"Know when to hold 'em, and know when to fold 'em."
 
Bella said:
Low expectations is the key to happiness. The lower the better, no expectations, if you can manage that, is best. Whatever the disappointment, I consider that it could always be worse.
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I say it as realistic expectations rather than low expectations; however, I'm disappointed that I didn't learn this earlier in life. It truly is the key. This also helped me a lot at work when a customer's expectation was inaccurate. Setting that realistically was key to a good project.
 
Iā€™ve embraced stoicism as my life philosophy, and found it helpful. If I get the outcome Iā€™m hoping for 80% of the time, I consider myself to be doing pretty well. I always prepare for and expect the worst outcome, so anything better than that is a pleasant surprise. It helps also to reframe problems as inconveniencesā€¦ šŸ¤”
 
chic said:
But you get what you expect so if disappointment makes you never expect anything, you will never get anything.

Guys, this can be something as simple and uncontrollable as the weather raining on your picnic. I'd be disappointed but not crushed. I'm seldom disappointed when doing other things because I keep plowing forward until things work out for me or I'll know why. IE. - I don't give up easily. I can usually stay positive during the worst with a blip or two maybe. :giggle:
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I know the saying: "Your imagination creates your world". Your statement is true. I've had a co-worker. Both of us and the other colleagues had to do with customers. Every time this co-worker told me that the customers had annoyed him. At first I considered it funny, how he lamented on the customers. Then I thought about the saying. I always smiled and was polite and friendly to our customers. Only very seldom I've had a bad experience.
 
Lots of good posts here-and a major disappointment can sure be a learning experience.
But I do think it depends on the situation.
And sometimes it could actually turn out to be a benefit-

A relative owes me a lot of money.For years they have told me they would pay me back.
This past December they seemed quite sure I would get a check from them in the mail very soon.
Of course it has not arrived.

Am I disappointed? NO- it is what I learned to expect from them.
I learned to never loan out anyone any money, ever again ,because I have done that. And believe me, some people think widows are an easy target for money. That happened to me a few month ago-a $$$ sob story from someone I hardly know.
 
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